Guest Review: I Rub My Duckie

Author: by Tabitha Olive (winner of our second annual Guest Toy Reviewer Contest)


"Rubber Ducky, You're the ONE!" says Tabitha



BUY NOW!

I was in Babeland with my soon to be married friend. She had never owned a vibrator. Never. Or a dildo. Or a damned pair of Hello Titty clamps. Seriously. I was shocked. I was appalled. I was...a selfish bitch in need of a new toy. Screw her. Can't a grown woman pick out her own orgasm maker? I was clearly insulting her by assuming she needed my help. Suddenly the search for Baby's First Toy turned into "Holy Crap I need a New Vibrator STAT". My friend could wait. I was on a mission.

Sure, I own lots of fancy toys: pretty glass dildos that look like they should be tucked away in a safety deposit box, the Hitachi Magic Wand (the mother of all vibrators), and multi-colored whips that I convinced my mother were cat toys, and what did she think I was, some kinda pervert? I happen to spend a lot of time in the bathtub though. After my overly aggressive advances produce a "What am I? A machine?" response from my boyfriend, I often find myself exiled to the bathtub. But, armed only with my fingers and a copy of my favorite erotic mag, I always end up emerging from the bathtub, fresh as a daisy, but with a serious case of female blue-balls. Blue ovaries if you will.

The problem with finding bathtub "help" is that many vibrators are water-resistant, but not waterproof. In other words, they can be good for a shower or unexpected thunderstorm, but aren't recommended for deep-sea diving. Enter I Rub My Duckie! Hold an actual duck underwater for long periods of time and expect a visit from the ASPCA. And eternal damnation, you sicko. But this Ducky totally digs long soaks in the tub. His (or her) permanent smile says: "I aim to please! I like it down here, thanks!".

The flat bottom side of the duck feels like an inexhaustible palm of someone's hand, good for all over action. You can get a bit kinky with I Rub My Duckie's ass, his little butt feathers will make you squirm and splash. He also features a great pouty mouth. The flared shape provides great stimulation. Also, if you care, I Rub My Duckie is totally silent, so that your sexually fatigued partner won't be disturbed. Your own wails and squeals however, well, that's your own problem.

I was feeling that my Duckie was looking a little vanilla, so I put a studded cock ring over his neck. Now, not only does he look like a total badass, the extra nubs make bath time lots of fun. So rock out with your Duck out!

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