Guest Review: Cry Baby

Author: by Lux Alptraum of Fleshbot.com

I've always had a little fantasy about attending a party with a sex toy secretly tucked into my nether regions, with no one around me the wiser (well, except my partner, of course). Unfortunately, the mechanics of most of my toys make something like this impossible—there's just no discreet way to bring the Njoy Eleven in public. The Cry Baby, on the other hand, was quite literally designed with this type of excursion in mind. A small, remote-controlled vibrating egg, the Cry Baby's perfectly designed for pleasure in public. Or is it? In order to find out, I took it for a test drive last week.

It would have been easy to test this vibrator out by myself, in the privacy of my own home—easy, sure, but hardly fun. Since I wanted the full experience (and the naughty thrills), I enlisted my assistant—who, as luck would have it, was meeting me at a party that very evening. Early in the day, I gave him the remote, taking the vibrator for myself. The next time we were in the same room together, our experiment would have begun. Yeah, you could say I was excited.

Since I wanted to arrive at the party with my toy in place, I slipped it in to my girlparts right before I left home. Now, I should clarify something here: when I said that the Cry Baby is small, I meant compared to, say, the King Kong dildo. Compared to other vibrating eggs, on the other hand, the Cry Baby is rather beefy, with enough heft to keep it inside the vagina rather easily. And, for that matter, enough heft to make it feel really, really good. Even without the vibration, the Cry Baby felt quite nice inside me—though my feelings of arousal were probably heightened by the naughty sensation of walking around in public with a vibrator in my vajay. (Either way, right?)

By the time I got to the party, I was pretty turned on—and really eager to see what the vibrating part of this toy would do for me. I tracked down my partner and persuaded him to take part in the fun.

"But I wanted to surprise you," he said.

I wasn't about to wait for that.

With the remote control, the Cry Baby can be guided through 10 different vibration settings. The first handful walk you through increasing levels of vibration, then the Cry Baby shifts into different pulse patterns. I must admit that I was somewhat disappointed by the level of vibration—even at its highest setting, the Cry Baby was whisper soft compared to most of the vibes that I've used. But maybe that's intentional: though having a super powerful vibrator in your pants sounds like a great way to get through a party, it's hard to be discreet when you have a Magic Wand pounding away at your clit. While the Cry Baby didn't leave me screaming, it was certainly enough vibration to get my attention—and, after a certain amount of time, enough to make me come, too.

Towards the end of the evening, the Cry Baby seemed to be dying. While it would initially respond to a tap on the remote control, the vibrations would quickly die after only a few seconds of fun. Was the battery dying? Had I broken my toy? I wasn't quite sure—but I wasn't happy about it. Sure, I could have carried some spare batteries—but the amount of effort I'd have to go through to switch them in... well, I wasn't about to take on that task.

I would have liked to have taken the Cry Baby out at the end of the party. Since it was dying, it wasn't good for much more fun; and I wasn't too keen on the idea of riding the subway home with it still in my snatch. Unfortunately, I didn't have much of a choice: the Cry Baby doesn't come with any kind of carrying case or satchel, so there was no place to put it once I'd removed it from my downstairs (and I wasn't about to carry it around, or throw it in my purse). So I had no choice but to keep the party going all the way home (okay, it wasn't that big of a sacrifice).

The Cry Babyis a lovely little toy that works well as a party toy—but since it's not the strongest stallion in the stable, you probably won't be bringing the party home. Nevertheless, if you like the idea of some in public action, you might want to add this one to your toy chest. Just, uh, remember to bring a baggie with you to stow the toy in once you're ready to wrap up your fun.