Ask Rachel and Claire: Turning Fifty Shades Fantasies Into Reality

Q: My wife has read (and is now rereading) the Fifty Shades series. In the past, she has indicated an interest in light bondage, and I'd like to surprise her with some toys and gear as a holiday gift. I'd really like to know what specific sex acts show up in the books so that I can get things that would appeal to both of us, but I really don't want to read the books myself (I'm kind of a literary snob, and I've heard the writing is really bad). I know you have a section of Fifty Shades-appropriate products, but do you know of a list of all of the sex they have in the books? If not, could you provide one? I know it's a big thing to ask, but it would provide a very valuable public service for people like me who want to expand our repertoire in the bedroom without having to endure bad prose. Thanks! -- Literary Snob Who Wants to Please His Wife

Rachel and Claire: Understood, and here’s what you need to know. Anastasia is a virgin who is surprised and delighted by her response to Christian’s authoritative sexuality. There is a lot of vanilla sex, including penetration, oral, etc. and Christian is always dominant and in charge so Anastasia can let go and be swept away. So the first order of business in recreating these scenes is taking on that dominant, demanding persona. Rather than catalogue every orgasm in the book, here are some of the most memorable scenes and my tips on recreating them:

1)    Elevator Sex- The key here is the “anytime anywhere” idea- the passion you feel is too big to wait for bed. So express your desire with a passionate kiss somewhere unexpected. To really make it a “Fifty Shades”-style kiss, you need to grab her hair and pull down to force her face up to yours, bite her lips and make it a very aggressive kiss.
2)    Dirty Talk- Christian is not shy about giving orders and saying what he wants. For example, he demands that Anastasia masturbate for him. Maybe that’s not your turn-on; the key is being assertive and saying it out loud. Let your wife know what you want in no uncertain terms. Dirty Talk 101: Tell her what you’re going to do to her, describe what you’re doing as you do it, then tell her what you did. “I’m gonna fuck you hard… I’m fucking you hard… I fucked you so hard…”
3)    Hitting and Spanking- Christian peppers his sexploits with thwacks. He pulls her over his lap, holds her legs down with his leg, and puts his outside arm on her back, ass exposed for spanking. This is a Christian Grey classic move and your wife will probably love it. Use a rubber paddle to take it to the next level.
4)    Ben-Wa Balls-  This is huge- everyone who reads this book wants to try these sexy, weighted balls. In the book she lubes them up with her mouth, then he puts them inside her, makes her walk around, spanks her and they fuck. If you only do one thing from Fifty Shades of Grey, this is the scene to copy (pages 362-366, in case you want to read it yourself.)
5)    Restraints and Riding Crops- Christian has a “Red Room of Pain,” including a giant wooden X on which to secure Anastasia. You can recreate this without the dedicated dungeon- have your wife stand up and secure her wrists behind her back with leather cuffs. After Christian restrains Anastasia it’s all quiver and gasp- teasing her with the crop then a sudden flick of sharp sensation. Tease, then flick, tease, then flick.
6)    Flogger- Restrained again and this time flogged. The sensation from flogging can very from soft and light to thud-y and even stingy. In Fifty Shades of Grey, the flogger is described as feathery. So go light, to stay true to text, though, most people like the sensation built up from light to heavier. Pause between strokes to give her a chance to process the sensations.
7)    Nipple Clamps, Butt Plugs, Ball Gags and Wrist to Ankle bondage- For wrist to ankle bondage, you need two pairs of cuffs. By books two and three of the trilogy things get intense. These four items will let you reenact the most heavily accessorized scenes in the trilogy.
We have a Fifty Shades of Grey Book and Indulge Your Fantasies Kit that has everything to get you started, too, and you save $34 when you buy these items together.
Have fun, Literary Snob!

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