Guest Toy Reviews

Guest Review: Minna Ola

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 11:38:00 GMT

Sex toy innovation is a funny thing—which is mostly to say that, as a general rule, sex toy innovation is not particularly innovative. In most people's minds, there are two general things that a toy is supposed to do (vibrate and penetrate) and thus sex toy "innovation" tends to amount to making toys that vibrate harder, penetrate deeper, or—gasp!—do both at the same time. It is not particularly inspiring.

But even within this often bleak desert of innovation, there are some rays of hope on the horizon: sex toy companies that care about their product, and work hard to develop beautiful, thoughtfully constructed toys that provide a superior erotic experience. If you're a regular Fleshbot reader, you're doubtless familiar with some of these thought leaders: JimmyJane, Je Joue, and Tenga all spring to mind—and today we're pleased to welcome a new company, Minna, to the club.

At first glance, Minna's debut product, the Ola, may not seem interesting enough to warrant such high praise. A delicately curved vibrator with two buttons on the back side, Ola seems like business as usual. But slow down and examine things further, and you'll see that Ola is anything but ordinary.

Unlike most toys on the market, Ola does not come with pre-programmed pleasure patterns—instead, the pleasure experience is one that's completely customized by you, the user. How does that work, you ask? Allow me to walk you through how the Ola functions.

First, let's go back to the two buttons on the back side of the Ola. One of them is a small, solid circle; this is what turns the Ola off and on. (The second button—a larger, empty circle—is one that we'll come back to later.) Unlike most toys, turning Ola on does not immediately bring it to life: there's no immediate vibration or obvious response (aside from a light glow emanating from the button to confirm that the toy is on). And this is where Ola gets really interesting.

Just beyond its buttons, Ola curves into a pillowy, inflated tab that somewhat resembles a cobra head. Once Ola is on, gently squeeze this tab: Ola springs to life. The harder you squeeze, the harder it responds, with the force of your touch matched by an equally forceful vibration. Looking for a light sensation? Gently stroke Ola's head. Want something more forceful? Press firmly, and get ready to rock out.

When I was first told about Ola, it was pitched to me as a couple's toy—and after trying it out with a partner last night, I can confirm that it is indeed something that's quite fun for two. Because of its interactive, customizable UI, Ola allows a woman's partner to feel directly involved in her pleasure: instead of just being the hand that holds the toy, one becomes the architect of their partner's orgasm. The touch of your finger shifts her experience—and the complete customizability of the toy allows you to surprise her with a new, unpredictable pattern every time. It's a lot of fun for foreplay, and is a delightful main course as well (and if, like me, you happen to enjoy talking during sex—well, it gives you a whole new conversation to have with you partner while you're doing the deed).

Some of you may now be wondering what happens if you happen upon a pattern you really, really like. Are you forced to remember the exactly degree of pressure your fingers enforced every single time you want to feel that same sensation? Or what if you want to keep the Ola going...while doing other things with your hands? Don't worry, Minna has thought of that. (And that brings us to the second button!)

Next to the on/off button is a larger, empty button, which it's easiest to think of as a record/play button. If you've found a sensation you really like, click the button to record, and press the pad to create your pattern. Then, pause for a second, and Ola will play back what it's just recorded. Like what you've got? Click the button a second time to lock in the pattern, and Ola will continuously play what you've just recorded for as long as you like. (Note: in this mode, Ola's pad becomes locked and will not respond to touch—so no worries that an accidental slip of the finger will interfere with whatever pattern you're grooving to.)

So: a unique, completely customizable, and highly interactive vibrator that's great for couples and delightful for solos. Could it get any better? Well, if you consider that it's completely waterproof (for bathtime fun!), body safe, and rechargeable, then yes. Yes it can. I'll let you ponder that one for a while. If you need me, I'll be over here, figuring out the best possible pattern for my Ola.

Buy Ola exclusively from Babeland - $165.00.

Free 4oz Babelube Natural with Minna Ola purchase.

Review: Cobra Libre- Click 'N' Charge - Stimulator for MEN

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 16:26:00 GMT

What do you get?

The Cobra Libre comes in plastic packaging. It is extremely easy to open, unlike so many other products out there. No tools required. So, here's what's inside: The toy itself, 2 packets of lubricant, and multi-lingual instructions. A separate package contains the "Click 'N' Charge" charger, which is a nifty piece of new technology that allows you to charge the toy by easily connecting one end of the charger to toy via magnetic connection and the other end to an outlet.

The Feel

The expandable silicone opening enveloped the head of my penis with a pleasant degree of tightness. The depth of the toy is probably just enough to house the the head of the average erect penis and and a small portion of the upper shaft. The inner contours of the toy feature ridges that stretch and stimulate the underside of the head (frenulum). A few drops of the included lubricant made the inside of the toy feel as moist as a naturally lubricated vagina during arousal. It was exciting to play around with the intensity and the various pre-programmed "vibration programs" that offer alternating vibration rhythms!

The overall sensation was incredibly relaxing when I started at a slower speed. The low intensity vibrations were incredibly pleasurable even before I became erect. Once I became erect, more intense, pulsating vibrations stimulated the head of my penis from all directions, providing sensations unlike any other sexual experience I've ever had. When I reached maximum speed and intensity, the nerve endings all throughout the head of my penis as well as the shaft were stimulated to the point that I couldn't help but moan loudly: "Oh God yes!"

Getting Creative

I've already come up with some creative ways to get even more out of the Cobra Libre. I started off by simply resting my penis inside of the toy. Then I kicked things up a notch by using the toy to jerk myself off, moving the entire toy in an up-and-down fashion. This movement created a vacuum effect as well as a sucking sound that was delightfully similar of oral play. Then I got a brilliant idea. I held the toy down on a chair and thrust my penis in and out of the machine. This positioning is ideal for incorporating fantasies that involve penetration.

The most pleasurable and surprising secondary use of the toy is completely unrelated to its intended use: I discovered that the vibrations of the toy are ideal for stimulating the balls. Like most men, I go crazy when my balls are stimulated. The curve of the device is perfect for cradling the balls and delivering intense vibrations to the area.

The Verdict The toy is unbelievably quiet and virtually silent. I found it easy to clean (it's waterproof!), and surprisingly lightweight considering how powerful it is.

I had never used a male vibrator until this experience with the Cobra Libre. I had no idea what I was missing. Not only does it enhance masturbation, but it also provides sensations that are not possible otherwise. Because the toy stimulates the head of the penis primarily, I imagine that it would be great fun for couples, since the balls and shaft are available for stimulation from a partner.

I would recommend the Cobra Libre to all of my male friends, both straight and gay, single or attached.

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Guest Review: Candy Colored Glass Dildo

Sun, 11 Mar 2012 16:53:00 GMT

I guarantee that you are going to want to lick this dildo. The candy-colored glass swirls running up and down the shaft look absolutely tantalizing.

Because each one is hand-made, the choice of colors varies (Babeland staff will pick the color for you). My Candy Colored Glass Dildo contains orange, yellow and green swirls. If it had a flavor, it would be a sweet and juicy citrus.

This dildo forms a gentle s-curve with a flat base, long shaft, and two bloops on the end. Each bloop measures about 1.5″ across; the final one tapers very gently, so it’s easy to insert the toy into the pussy. Because it is made of glass, the Candy Colored Glass Dildo has no seams, no rough edges, nothing to impede its slick progress into your body.

After I got done marveling at the clear beauty of my new toy, I dabbed a little lube on it and headed to AAG’s Sex-Toy Testing Center (my bed). It was slightly cool in my room that night, so the dildo felt chilly against my hot pussy. I really like that sensation, but if you don’t, glass will easily warm in a bowl of water or resting in your hand for a few minutes.

Glass doesn’t absorb lube, so only a little is needed. I found that the s-curve of the Candy Colored Glass Dildo, along with the toy’s long handle, made it very easy for me to get to my g-spot. The smooth surface of the toy made for nearly effortless thrusting. I was gushing within minutes.

This toy does NOT have a safety-flange on its end for absolutely safe anal play. However, at 11" long, you’d really have to work to lose this toy in your bottom. Proceed with caution, don’t get carried away, and if you are concerned about your ability to control yourself, limit your activities with this toy only to the vagina.

I’d love to see this toy with a wide base so that it could stand up tall and proud. This would make for an excellent improvement to this otherwise wonderful toy.

Enjoy it, and try not to lick it too greedily, however much you might be tempted.

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Guest Review: SaSi Vibrator

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 13:45:00 GMT

Ever wish your partner had a vibrating tongue that did exactly what you wanted and never asked for anything in return (like sexual reciprocity or homemade buffalo wings)? That's clearly what the Sasi designers had in mind, combining the tip-of-the-licker shape, feel, and stimulation with the reverb of a traditional vibrator.

More than a Mouse
On the outside, this fella looks kind of like a wireless computer mouse, which lowers the hide-it-in-the-sock-drawer-before-company-visits factor. But it's actually more high tech than any computer mouse I've ever used, with a supposedly programmable "brain" that remembers exactly which moves you do and don't like.

Shaped like a shallow C, the Sasi is about three-quarters the length of your hand and provides three zillion times the excitement. On the inside of the curve, smooth plastic is stretched over a ball about the size of a marble. This orb is the genius of the Sasi -- instead of a simple vibration, the nub moves under the silky sheath, simulating the gyrations of a tongue.

The spherical head has tons of different movements, several speeds, three vibration intensities and various pulsation patterns, all intended for the clitoris. Your new favorite lover will move slowly back and forth over the edge of your clit, glide from top to bottom of your button, vibrate in quick side-to-side loops over the tip -- you'll have to quit your day job to explore all the possibilities.

Bells and Whistles
But the best, most innovative feature is that, like a good boyfriend (or girlfriend or husband or sexy Santa), the Sasi (supposedly) learns what you like. By skipping certain movements and remaining on actions you like, the Sasi-brain calibrates itself to your body.

Although I haven't yet figured out the Sasi's intricacies, playing around with it still made me wetter than any other vibrator I've used. Its high-tech triumph is also its main drawback: because it's so customizable, it's pretty complicated. There are five buttons, and each does different things depending on whether you push it once or hold it down. There are also two mode buttons: favorite and custom. The complexity should not prohibit you from purchasing one, but make sure to hold on to the user's manual.

Big-Ticket Buy
Speaking of purchasing, this is a big one. At $185, the Sasi falls squarely in the "luxury" sex toy aisle. But if you're going to buy one break-the-bank vibe, this is it. As befits a bespoke sex toy, the Sasi comes in gorgeous packaging that includes four power adapters (so you can take it on your next international vacation), a dust cover (so you can store it properly), a rubber stand (so it can sit on a throne next to your bed) and a 21-page instruction booklet (so you can figure out how to use the damn thing).

The joys of using the Sasi, combined with the beautiful packaging and indulgent price, make it the ultimate sexy holiday gift for your partner, best friend or yourself. The lucky recipient will love you, and will hopefully show you that love back ... if you're into that sort of thing. As sex toys go, the Sasi is one of the best ones out there and comes the closest to re-creating oral action as anything I've seen without two legs and a mouth.

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Guest Review: Cry Baby

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 12:38:31 GMT

I've always had a little fantasy about attending a party with a sex toy secretly tucked into my nether regions, with no one around me the wiser (well, except my partner, of course). Unfortunately, the mechanics of most of my toys make something like this impossible—there's just no discreet way to bring the Njoy Eleven in public. The Cry Baby, on the other hand, was quite literally designed with this type of excursion in mind. A small, remote-controlled vibrating egg, the Cry Baby's perfectly designed for pleasure in public. Or is it? In order to find out, I took it for a test drive last week.

It would have been easy to test this vibrator out by myself, in the privacy of my own home—easy, sure, but hardly fun. Since I wanted the full experience (and the naughty thrills), I enlisted my assistant—who, as luck would have it, was meeting me at a party that very evening. Early in the day, I gave him the remote, taking the vibrator for myself. The next time we were in the same room together, our experiment would have begun. Yeah, you could say I was excited.

Since I wanted to arrive at the party with my toy in place, I slipped it in to my girlparts right before I left home. Now, I should clarify something here: when I said that the Cry Baby is small, I meant compared to, say, the King Kong dildo. Compared to other vibrating eggs, on the other hand, the Cry Baby is rather beefy, with enough heft to keep it inside the vagina rather easily. And, for that matter, enough heft to make it feel really, really good. Even without the vibration, the Cry Baby felt quite nice inside me—though my feelings of arousal were probably heightened by the naughty sensation of walking around in public with a vibrator in my vajay. (Either way, right?)

By the time I got to the party, I was pretty turned on—and really eager to see what the vibrating part of this toy would do for me. I tracked down my partner and persuaded him to take part in the fun.

"But I wanted to surprise you," he said.

I wasn't about to wait for that.

With the remote control, the Cry Baby can be guided through 10 different vibration settings. The first handful walk you through increasing levels of vibration, then the Cry Baby shifts into different pulse patterns. I must admit that I was somewhat disappointed by the level of vibration—even at its highest setting, the Cry Baby was whisper soft compared to most of the vibes that I've used. But maybe that's intentional: though having a super powerful vibrator in your pants sounds like a great way to get through a party, it's hard to be discreet when you have a Magic Wand pounding away at your clit. While the Cry Baby didn't leave me screaming, it was certainly enough vibration to get my attention—and, after a certain amount of time, enough to make me come, too.

Towards the end of the evening, the Cry Baby seemed to be dying. While it would initially respond to a tap on the remote control, the vibrations would quickly die after only a few seconds of fun. Was the battery dying? Had I broken my toy? I wasn't quite sure—but I wasn't happy about it. Sure, I could have carried some spare batteries—but the amount of effort I'd have to go through to switch them in... well, I wasn't about to take on that task.

I would have liked to have taken the Cry Baby out at the end of the party. Since it was dying, it wasn't good for much more fun; and I wasn't too keen on the idea of riding the subway home with it still in my snatch. Unfortunately, I didn't have much of a choice: the Cry Baby doesn't come with any kind of carrying case or satchel, so there was no place to put it once I'd removed it from my downstairs (and I wasn't about to carry it around, or throw it in my purse). So I had no choice but to keep the party going all the way home (okay, it wasn't that big of a sacrifice).

The Cry Babyis a lovely little toy that works well as a party toy—but since it's not the strongest stallion in the stable, you probably won't be bringing the party home. Nevertheless, if you like the idea of some in public action, you might want to add this one to your toy chest. Just, uh, remember to bring a baggie with you to stow the toy in once you're ready to wrap up your fun.

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Guest Review: Hitachi Magic Wand

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 17:51:42 GMT

Hitachi Magic Wand Vibrator Hitachi Magic Wand + Gee Whiz Combo

I have bad news for dogs: they are no longer man’s best friend. This title now officially belongs to the Hitachi Magic Wand, or “Cadillac of Vibrators” as many fans call it. While it is often thought of as a woman’s sex toy, I hereby declare the Magic Wand the best sex toy for men.

For the uninitiated, the Hitachi Magic Wand is an old-school electric wand vibrator, looks nothing like a penis, and is designed for external stimulation (though a variety of sold-separately accessories can change that in a hurry). And while you could certainly use it to massage other parts of your body, the Hitachi Magic Wand is best known for its ability to please your own personal Netherlands.

Originally, I bought the Hitachi Magic Wand for my girlfriend, and the results were otherworldly. But when she held its vibrating head against the underside of my cock, I had a bed-breaking orgasm in less than a minute. I came so hard that I gave myself an unintended facial (which may or may not be a selling point). Since then, I’ve used the Magic Wand every time I want a quick and powerful orgasm, and it has never let me down.

My girlfriend and I incorporate the Hitachi Magic Wand into all forms of sex play. While she’s going down on me, she puts the head of the Hitachi Magic Wand under her chin as I get closer to orgasm. This makes my orgasms so intense that they shake pictures in other people’s houses. Here’s another one: with the head of the Hitachi Magic Wand held in the palm of your hand with your thumb, ring finger and pinky, insert the remaining fingers into the vagina and work the G-spot. Not only is the head of the vibrator up against her vulva, but now your fingers are also vibrating inside of her. (Note: If she tends to ejaculate, you might wanna plug the vibrator into a GFI outlet just in case. I don’t think there’s a danger of shock, but that would be an embarrassing story to tell to the ER attendants at the very least.) Girls, you can try a similar trick with your boy, placing the vibrating head against his tain’t (you know, tain’t the balls, tain’t the asshole, but that spot in between). It’s heaven.

The Hitachi Magic Wand has two speeds: low and high. “Low” is plenty to get you off. “High” is powerful enough to reshuffle your DNA. The motor isn’t exactly quiet either, so be careful if you want your pleasure time to go unnoticed.

My only gripe about the Hitachi Magic Wand is that the cord is a little short, maybe 4 or 5 feet long. More than once, it’s become unplugged at the wrong time. But that’s what extension cords are for, right?

Priced at $54, the Hitachi Magic Wand gives you more bang for your buck than any other sex toy on the market. And while it will never give you the unending love and companionship that a dog can offer, it’s cheaper than a visit to the vet and will never poop on your rug.

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Guest Review: The Boss

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 12:29:05 GMT

Can The Boss Get The Job Done?

With a name like The Boss, a vibrator had better be able to perform, and from looks alone, Babeland's latest release (an exclusive toy manufactured by Fun Factory) appears to be up to the job. At 8-3/4" long and 1-3/5" thick, it's a sizeable toy; and with its soft silicone skin and realistic shape, it definitely looked like the kind of toy I'd like to have firmly lodged within my pussy.

So how did it stack up?

With its lifelike bumps and curves (no smiley animal faces here!) and substantial girth, The Boss slid comfortably inside my parts, filling things out quite nicely. But form isn't everything: I reached down to turn the toy on and see how it functioned.

All my gripes about the dial faded away once the vibration kicked in. Though it's a battery-powered toy, The Boss comes with more than a bit of kick, and combined with the toy's size, the vibration is definitely enough to let you know who's in charge.

My heart still belongs to some of the fancier, rechargeable vibes, but if you're looking for a toy that has the power to make you swoon and won't break the bank, you might want to let The Boss stop by and show you how its done.

***Update***

The Boss's younger, hotter, sister, Boss Lady has come to town and is ready to show you some new moves with her upgraded SmartVibe function. This is the G-spot vibrator you have always dreamed of letting take control. Like her counterpart, Boss Lady is hefty, but made of soft silicone, has a sweet tilt just right for the G-spot, and is shower-friendly. Plus, you can add a little extra intensity to any of the vibration or pulse settings with the additional push button. Boss Lady will always get the job done! Available only at Babeland.

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Guest Review: Heart Crop

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 12:10:14 GMT

Being a girl who is both whimsical and sadistic, I happen to have a thing for BDSM toys with a softer side—or at least a sense of humor.

In fact, my first ever paddle was one of those OUCH paddles, which I saw as both functional and amusing—the idea of an ass literally saying ouch after a good spanking was just too excellent to resist.

In that spirit, I was quite intrigued by the Heart Crop—which, with it's pretty little heart-shaped tip, looks more like a fairy princess wand than an implement of pain. In other words, it looked exactly my speed.

Serious kinksters might be tempted to write the Heart Crop off as a beginner's toy (after all, it's got a heart on it), but I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was able to conduct a good deal of thwack when wielded properly—and at the end of my session with it, my heartshaped bottom was now a heartstudded bottom; and one that was pleasantly sore, to boot.

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Guest Review: Commando Harness

Sun, 04 Mar 2012 15:38:29 GMT

Commando Harness

Silk Dildo

Slip Not

The term "Strap-on" can evoke a picture of a woman wearing a mean-looking leather get-up along with a huge dildo poking out. While that can sometimes be the case, harnesses and strap-on dildos are not just a female thing. Men can use them too. The idea that men could enjoy this particular toy intrigued me, and I purchased the Commando Harness along with the Silk dildos and a nifty little "extra" called a Slip Not.

The Commando harness is of the "Two Strap" variety, which you’ll need if you are male and like your male parts (I do!). The Commando fits very comfortably on me, and the lightweight and supple leather is easy to fit and adjust. The set comes with two different "rings" to allow the choice of different dildos. The rings secure the chosen dildo firmly in place according to the diameter. The strap arrangement of the Commando makes it a cinch to adjust. For male use, it is easy to adjust the height in relation to your other fun parts. The kind of play you are doing makes this adjustment critical.

I strongly recommend the addition of the Slip Not, which fits on the dildo base before insertion into the ring. This helps maintain great stability during vigorous play, something you will find yourself quickly engaged in. I also suggest you always use a condom on your dildos, and cover the entire thing, including the base. This improves safety and makes cleanup easy.

Buy the Commando Harness

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Guest Review: Orchid G

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 15:05:40 GMT

Orchid G has become my favorite!

After seeing everyone at Ecstasy MB reviewing sex toys, I thought I would jump on the bandwagon. I looked through a few sites to decide which reviewing/affiliate program would be best for me, and I decided upon Babeland. Each week... they send out an affiliate newsletter with items up for review and for my first item, I decided to try the Babeland Orchid G, a G-spot vibrator.

It took about a week and a half to arrive at my house from the day I requested it. What I loved about their shipping is that the toy comes in a plain brown box and the return label is very unidentifiable. Their shipping process makes things as discreet as possible, which was great since I still live with my parents. When I received it, they had no idea what I got in the mail. The box was rather large, so it did make me a bit wary, but I was relieved once opening it.

I opened the box and the Babeland Orchid G was in there, along with discount coupons. I put in the batteries (it takes 2 AA) and when I opened the battery compartment, there was an illustrated paper showing which way the batteries go in. I loved it, considering that with my past toys, I just sorta had to guess which way the batteries were inserted.

The Babeland Orchid G has multiple speed settings, and changing the speed, as well as turning it off, is done with a dial (another great thing I loved). Just holding it in my hand, I could already tell that the vibrations got VERY intense. There are also light vibrations, and every level in between. With the dial, I could turn it up, but if the vibrations got too intense for me, I could easily turn it back down some without having to turn it up, or even off, first (like with push-button speeds).

The next thing I noticed was the sound. It gets loud. If you're wanting to use this with others near, this toy isn't exactly discreet. But if you have privacy, or sound doesn't bother you, then it's fine.

Now it was time to actually put the Babeland Orchid G to use. Besides being my first review, it is also my first G-spot vibrator so I didn't know what to expect. Ryan's been in Alabama visiting, so I couldn't test the vibrator for couple's play.

First thing I noticed was that with the bulb-shaped head, it wasn't easy to insert. I normally self-lubricate very well and never usually need lube. Luckily, I did have lube available because with the size of the head, I needed it. The actual play with the Babeland Orchid G was quite nice. It really got the spot and made for a great solo-session. As long as you've got lubricant, I would recommend this toy to anyone who is interested in G-spot stimulation!

On a separate occasion, I also decided to use this toy for clitoral stimulation. Because of the toy being a G-spot stimulator, the vibrations go straight to the head. Since the clitoris is more sensitive than the vagina, you might need to turn down the speed some. I must say though, that this toy works amazing for clitoral play!

Overall, this was a very great toy. It has become my favorite that I have. I don't prefer penetration when playing solo most of the time, but when I do, this toy definitely hits the spot! It is a toy that can make any intimate solo time even better.

Specs:
Material: Plastic
Length: 8"
Widest Point: 1-3/8"

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Guest Review: RodeoH Harness

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 10:56:00 GMT

From the moment Phoebe, our buyer, called me over to check out the RodeoH Harness, I knew I must have one. Working at Babeland and being a curious person in general, I have tried just about every style of harness, from g-string to two-strap to rope to underwear, from leather to nylon to spandex. Each style has its place and purpose, and some really basic styles are great for beginners, easy to adjust and get on and off quickly. Most styles include straps that can be tightened or loosened for easy access. That's great and all, but you can't really wear something with excess straps all day under your clothes, now can you?

Initial Testing: Comfort and Fit

Before I even enlisted a partner to test the RodeoH for its intended purpose — a sexy, stylish, and secure harness — I had to test the fit and feel. This harness looks and feels just like cotton boy shorts, with a pocket in front for easy access (like in men's briefs) and a hole cut out in front. There's an O-ring sewn in for a dildo to slip through. For testing purposes, I decided I would wear them one day as choonies (underwear) under a long dress (nevermind that I was in need of doing some laundry, and they were the comfiest-looking undergarment I could find around my house). The fit is meant to be snug. At the moment I wear size 12 pants, and the large size fits me snugly, but not too tight. The waistband makes a bit of smush, but it does not cut in and did not leave any marks on my sides after wearing it all day. This is the first time I wore a harness under my clothes all day long, and it was as comfortable as my softest cotton choonies.

Since that day, I have eagerly awaited the opportunity to put the RodeoH to the real test. I was lucky enough to find a willing test subject, also eager to help me in my pursuits.

In Use: Ease and Security

"I want you to fuck me..." she said, "and you have to test that harness..." I couldn't deny that, and I am always eager to help a friend get what they want out of life. So in the wee hours of the morning, we killed two birds, so to speak. I slipped on my RodeoH and grabbed my super-pretty iridescent Leo, and a small Bullet Vibe. I fitted the dick with a colored Proper Attire Condom and slipped it easily in place. Did I say easy? Yes, I thought for sure I would be doing some fumbling the first time I slipped my dildo through the slit in the front of the Rodeoh Harness to get it through the O-ring and into place, but I was wrong. It slipped right in, and I didn't have to pull or tug on the fabric anywhere. We were ready to rock!

I tried this harness from both the top and the bottom. On top, everything stayed firmly in place, and I never once had to adjust the harness or my dildo. I used the Bullet Vibe inside the hole in the dildo, and the vibration was pleasurable for both of us. Next, we tested the harness with me on the bottom. In this position, the vibe was pushing uncomfortably against my pubic bone, so I reached into the harness and pulled it out. This was also not complicated, and allowed me to readjust the vibe into the top of the waistband of the RodeoH. It allowed for my partner to grind up against the vibe while she was on top of me. All in all, I think we found this harness to be great for our morning adventures.

I love the idea of wearing the RodeoH all day and being ready for anything, with no one the wiser. I love that I can wear it as comfy choonies and a very effective harness. I love that there are no straps to adjust, tie off or push out of the way. I love the ease of use and I love that I just tossed it into my laundry basket this morning. This is my new favorite harness, and I can't wait to do some more testing with it! Thank you to Phoebe and RodeoH for the wonderful harness in exchange for my honest review.

Get yours here!

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Guest Review: Usual Suspects Kit

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 14:16:04 GMT

Last summer, JimmyJane announced the launch of their "Iconic Collection"—also known as The Usual Suspects. In layman's terms: they took three classic sex toys, made them all white, and packaged them as a set.

What toys were deemed iconic enough to be a part of the Iconic Collection? Pretty much what you would expect: a rabbit vibrator, a pocket rocket, and a vibrating cock ring. The three toys that have made their way across all of America, earning a prized place in sex toy shops around the country.

The Iconic Rabbit: Confession time: prior to obtaining the Iconic Collection, I had never owned a rabbit vibe. This was partly due to cost constraints (at the height of the Rabbit's popularity, I was a broke college student) and partly due to my distaste for mass trends (by the time I could actually afford a Rabbit, everyone and their mother had created a knockoff—and usually a cheap one). In fact, I'd only used a rabbit vibe once in my life, during an encounter that also involved an Italian prostitute in Amsterdam.

Unlike most of its predecessors, the Iconic Rabbit is not coated in questionably safe jelly rubber, but rather a jacket of phthalate-free, bright white elastomer. Which, for the record, I found a bit creepy. Perhaps I'm just not stylish enough to appreciate the appeal of all white elastomer.

The big appeal of the rabbit is its dual modes of stimulation—which, in the case of the Iconic, are controlled by two sliders on the base of the toy. One slider causes the eponymous rabbit to vibrate, its ears transforming into a blur; the other causes the shaft (and its pearl core), to rotate, stimulating the gspot.

Here was my first disappointment with the Iconic Rabbit: I had to slide one of the sliders almost halfway down to get the shaft rotating. Here was my second disappointment: when the toy was actually inside me, it stopped rotating entirely, only kicked into motion when it was approaching its highest setting. Were my Kegel muscles just that powerful—or was the toy just that weak? I'll let you decide.

Now, when I could get the toy actually moving and grooving, it felt pretty great. There's a reason why the Rabbit was the toast of "Sex and the City": it's a vibe that knows how to make a woman feel... like a woman. However, my enjoyment of the toy was hampered by the sheer volume of the motor. It was loud. Really, really loud.

Perhaps I was right to have avoided rabbit fever.

The Iconic Pocket: First off: am the only one who thinks that JimmyJane really, really missed out by not calling this toy the Iconic Rocket? Rabbit, Rocket, and Ring just flows so much better than Rabbit, Pocket, and Ring (or maybe I'm just abnormally addicted to alliteration).

The thing about the Iconic Pocket is that it's not really reborn, remade, or restyled in anyway by JimmyJane: the original Pocket Rocket (which, yes, I owned back in the day) was also white—in fact, the only difference between that toy and JimmyJanes is the "Iconic Pocket" branded across the stem.

But I digress.

The Iconic Pocket is a small, one-speed vibrator. It's also surprisingly powerful, given its pocket size—a little too powerful, if you ask me. Having so much raw, awesome, vibrating power packed into one tiny toy didn't turn me on; it made me overwhelmed (and, for that matter, reminded me why I had graduated on to more subtle, distinguished toys). My roommate, however, found the sheer, awesome power to be nothing short of thrilling. Different strokes for different folks, right?

The Iconic Ring: With its gummy, elastomer band and tiny, watch battery-powered vibe, the Iconic Ring was more along the lines of the Sonic Ring Kit than the Bo—though there were some subtle design elements that rocketed it to a higher level than the Sonic Ring.

Most impressive was that Jimmy Jane had thought to completely encase the vibrator in elastomer, preventing any possibility of it getting shifted or dislodged during the action. The vibrator's flat shape was also a plus—as were the ticklers emanating from the elastomer casing.

But overall, I just couldn't quite get into it—which may have more to do with the inherent flaws of vibrating cock rings than with JimmyJane.

So what have we learned from all this? Well, for one thing, making a toy all white and branding it "iconic" doesn't fundamentally change anything about it. If you like the Rabbit, the Rocket, and the Ring, you'll find this JimmyJane collection a pleasing tribute—but if, like me, you think iconic's just another word for starter toy, you'll probably be happier investing your money in a more advanced, new-fangled toy that lacks the SATC cred—but more than makes up for it in pleasing power.

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Guest Review: Eleven Dildo

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 12:56:42 GMT

Normally, I'm not one to question the price of sex toys. Having rubbed my junk with everything from cheapo bullet vibes to luxury wonders like the SaSi, I can say with a great deal of certainty that when it comes to sex toys, you get what you pay for. High-priced playthings tend to be better made, which makes them last longer and generally a lot more fun to use.

But even I was a bit shocked to learn that the nJoy Eleven costs a whopping $300. Beautifully crafted though it may be, it is, ultimately, just a dildo. What could make a dildo cost more than the latest iPhone? I decided to dive in and find out.

Here in the Kitchen, we're no strangers to the joys of nJoy toys. Like its predecessors, the Eleven is a wonder to behold: crafted out of highly polished stainless steel, with stunningly shapely curve, the Eleven is as much an objet d'art as it is a sex toy.

But there's one big thing that makes the Eleven stand out from the rest of the nJoy family: it's huge. At eleven inches long (get it?) and two inches wide at its biggest point, the Eleven is a size queen's dream. Add in the fact that it weighs in at 2.75 lbs, and you've got yourself one hell of vaginal barbell. Whether you're fucking or flexing, the Eleven is bound to do your body good.

I started by putting the smaller end of the Eleven inside my ladyparts. (I may be a size queen, but I'm not insane). It felt great. With the curve of the head and the ripply ridges rubbing against my G-spot, I went from zero to orgasmic far more quickly than I expected. The larger end gave me a bit more trouble though: a two inch diameter may not seem that large, but when it's two inches of steel it's another story entirely. It took lots of warming up (and a bit of orgasming) before I was ready to take the bigger head inside myself.

But once inside... wow. The Eleven offers an unparalleled feeling of fullness — a large, substantial sensation that had me thanking the powers that be that I was born with a vagina.

But is it worth $300? I can't say for sure. The Eleven is a finely crafted toy that offers a unique sensual experience unlike anything I've felt before—but you'll have to decide for yourself how much you think that's worth.

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Guest Review: Nipplettes Vibrating Clamps

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 18:00:25 GMT

I've never really understood the need to buy a set of nipple clamps: why pay for something you can get for virtually free? Plain old clothespins may not be intended for nipple stimulation, but they still do the job extremely well. But even though they're nice and pinchy, clothespins don't vibrate. Nipplettes Vibrating Clamps, on the other hand, vibrate quite hard ... and that feature alone was enough to make me consider paying for them.

Silky smooth and girly pink, Nipplettes are an adorable addition to any sex toy kit—and are particularly good for the sex toy kit of someone new to BDSM. With the turn of a screw, they're are easily adjustable as well, so if you're feeling a little sensitive you can adjust the screws to ease the pain. On the other hand, if you're looking for something more intense you can always twist those screws the other way.

Best of all, though, the clamps come alive with vibration with a simple push of a button. If you think vibrators are only for pussies, think again: all that pulsing turned my nipples on and kept them at serious attention (and then some).

One downside is that if you're looking for a serious pinch, they're probably not for you: even at their tightest, Nipplettes don't really hurt. Fun as they are, they're far more about that delicious vibrating goodness than creating some seriously pleasurable pain.

After my nipples had had their way with the Nipplettes, I decided to experiment a little. If these little clamps felt great clamped against my nipples, was it possible they might feel good clipped on to other parts of my body? Like, say, my labia?

Short answer: yes. Sure, that might not be their intended purpose, but there's no reason you can't use any sex toy to find other sorts of pleasure wherever you can. And Nipplettes have the potential to bring a lot of pleasure wherever you choose to stick them.

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“Oui Oui,” We Say to the We-Vibrator!”

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 11:54:32 GMT

The We-Vibe is the first and only internal vibrator designed to be worn during intercourse.

The excitement surrounding the We-Vibe is palpable. After our first retail shipment of the toy arrived, we were
sold out in under a week. “This vibrator,” I thought to myself, “is something I need.”

A cursory handling of the We-Vibe promised dual clitoral and G-spot delights. One slender prong slid into the pussy, resting up against the G-spot; a second, thicker prong nestled between the outer labia and against the clit. The whole device was held in place by tension.

When my own We-Vibe arrived, I did a dance of glee. Clasping my prize, I couldn’t wait to run home, charge ‘er up, and take it for a ride.The arrival of the unique We-Vibe sparked such curiosity (and active play!) amongst our staff we compiled some tips and tricks regarding its use.

We-Vibe Particulars

3-1/4” long, 1/4" to 1” wide, 2 ounces
Hypoallergenic, non-porous, medical-grade silicone
Two separate motors, two vibration settings
Fully rechargeable (unlike other rechargeable vibes, this one can never be over-charged)
Splash-proof
Discreet and quiet

We-Vibe Preparation

The We-Vibe requires a 24-hour initial charge, which may be trying for the more *ahem* impatient among us. Do remember that all good things come to those who wait! As with any toy, arm yourself with your favorite lube. A gentle press of two diminutive dimples allows you to select your vibration speed. Make sure your hands are lube-free, or this may be difficult.

We-Vibe Solo

As all bodies are different, I suggest giving the We-Vibe a solo session before moving on to partner play. Once it was fully charged, I followed my own advice and was pleased as punch to find that it is a quiet little thing; but for what it lacks in size and volume, it makes up for in every other way. The We-Vibe’s two vibration options pack a surprisingly powerful punch. Having been concerned by how slender the internal prong was, I soon changed my tune. This toy provides excellent, firm g-spot stimulation even without other penetration, but the addition of a well-lubed dildo or fingers adds a delectable oomph. If worn with a snug pair of skivvies, it stays in place for hands-free enjoyment.

We-Vibe for Two

Once making friends with my We-Vibe, I rounded up my comely test partner, and we retired to the boudoir. My field notes are numerous:

Turn the We-Vibe on before you put it in place.
With penetration from a partner, the We-Vibe provides delightful g-spot stimulation.
Even with a condom, the We-Vibe remains unobtrusive… and stays put.
If you like movement on your clit, try rubbing a finger on the outer portion of the vibrator.
Try a variety of positions! I enjoyed the vibrations best in a spoon position, where I had lots of space to manipulate the We-Vibe’s external vibrations with a single finger; some prefer the We doggy-style; but other users had these comments:“I found out that woman-on-top position with the We-Vibe in place is AMAZING and that if I orgasm while sitting up, I fall over.”“I love this in the ‘femme on top’ position.” As for my partner’s review? Let’s just say that the enjoyment was very mutual.

We-Vibe Advice

Remember that you’re playing with a vibrator, so there will be a solid object resting between you and another body. Do not be thwarted if it feels a little odd at first. To quote my clever co-worker:

“It’s a sweet little reminder that you had a ton a fun the night before. If you use it often enough, you won’t really notice it anymore. It’s like riding a bike. Sure when you take it out of storage for the summer and ride it around the block a few times, your ass is bound to be sore the next day. But ride it a few times, and soon enough, you won’t be cautiously sitting on pillows anymore the next day. Not to say you’ll go numb, you just get used to the pressure being applied in specific areas.”

We-Vibe for All

Once I’d enjoyed my We-Vibe quite a few times, I did what any good Babeland staffer does: I chatted about it with my coworkers and gained more tips to pass along to you.

Place the We-Vibe under a harness when you’re strapping it on.
When one person is wearing the We-Vibe, rub your bits together for full-contact thrills.
Use the We-Vibe for a delicious, vibrating hand job.
Drape the vibrator at the base of a penis or dildo for a quasi-vibrating cock ring effect.

We Verdict

Many of our staff agree: this is one of the most innovative and orgasmic new toys to cross our paths (and other parts) in a long time. The We-Vibe is wonderfully versatile, but keep in mind that which positions and tricks feel the best will depend on your body and preferences. Take time getting to know your We-Vibe and it’ll love you (and your partner) right back.

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Door Jam Cuffs

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:20:00 GMT

Originally appeared on www.JanesGuide.com

Notice how when you tie someone up, they’re almost always lying down? Not with the Door Jam Cuffs, they’re not. The only things you need are a door and a willing partner, and you’re on your way to some fun vertical bondage. The Door Jam Cuffs consist of a pair comfortable yet secure Velcro cuffs attached to straps. On the other end of each strap is a small bar. Just loop the straps over the top of the door with the bars on the outside and close the door. Voila! Now you can tie your partner up, literally.

In trying these out, I thought that perhaps the Velcro wouldn’t be strong enough to keep someone helpless. As soon as my partner secured me in the Door Jam Cuffs, I found out how wrong I was. I found the cuffs themselves were inescapable, but the small metal ring that attaches the cuff to the strap wasn’t as sturdy. I didn’t get out of my bonds, but I bent the hell out of the metal ring (Mind you, I was really putting these puppies through a stress test, using all my strength and weight to pull on them). The good news is that the metal ring is easy enough to replace just by using a quality key ring.

All in all, this product is a winner. The cuffs are comfortable, easy to use, and hard to escape from. Plus, you can change up your bondage routine without drilling into ceiling beams and dealing with incriminating eyehooks. The Door Jam Cuffs will damage neither your door, nor your wallet. At $26, they’re a great way to get your kinky fantasies on their feet.

Guest Review: Cry Baby - Remote Control Bullet Vibrator

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:55:00 GMT

Buy Now!

It’s a super new toy with a very strange name. The Cry Baby is a short and stout insertable vibrator with a wireless remote control that lets you select from a multitude of settings, ranging from a soft purr to hard and fast blasts. My girlfriend and I were skeptical about this vibrator because of its name, but after putting this Baby through the paces, my partner and I were spoiled rotten. She and I tried to come up with as many scenarios as we could in which we could best take advantage of Cry Baby’s unique features. Here are our faves:

Shopping—The stereotype goes like this: a woman gleefully peruses the shops, trying on clothes and buying a few things while her man is demoted to the role of bellhop, burdened down with her bags, pretending not to be resentful. If you find this cliché is even remotely true (pun intended), then the Cry Baby is made for you. My girlfriend and I decided to make a recent trip to a high-end department store more interesting by adding the Cry Baby to the mix. She wore the vibrator while trying on a variety of slinky dresses. Meanwhile, I kept the remote control close at hand, letting her know my opinion of each outfit by the intensity of the buzz I sent her. She started with a simple black evening gown, low cut and form fitting. I responded by selecting “1” on the remote, giving her a low, steady purr between her legs. The next dress was a tight, red number that showed off her fabulous hips, which bucked forward slightly when I turned up the remote to “2”, sending her a stronger buzz. She raced back to the changing room for the third outfit: a vintage green and gold beaded dress open down to the small of her back. She was so stunning that my mouth fell agape, and for a moment I forgot my role.

“Well?” she asked, waiting for my electronic reaction. I skipped “3” and went straight to “4”, a rapid-fire series of buzzes that made her wobble back to the stall and latch the door.

“Give me the dress,” I said, not intending to let that be the only time I saw her in it.

“Give me the remote,” she replied.

Watching TV—My girlfriend isn’t big on porn, so when she suggested we rent the 70’s adult classic The Opening of Misty Beethoven, I raised an eyebrow. “I have an idea,” she said. “Trust me.” That night, she set the stage by lighting candles around the living room, pouring us each a glass of wine, and changing into her silk pajamas. I started the movie and settled into the couch. She moved in, sitting between my legs, her back against my chest. Once the on-screen action began to heat up, she took hold of my left wrist and guided my hand over her breast. After letting me massage her for a while, she moved my hand down between her legs, and I could feel the steady vibrations of the Cry Baby inside her. She kept my hand pressed against her pussy and said, “I want to show you what I like in a porn.” She kept the Cry Baby remote close by, changing the settings to match her arousal. As the movie progressed, I could literally feel which scenes were having an effect on her. But when we got to the pivotal moment in the film where the title character is attempting to make three men come simultaneously, I felt the Cry Baby surge into a staccato rhythm like a machine gun, and she ground her hips against my hand until she reached orgasm. We then retreated to the bedroom to create our own happy ending.

The Numbers Game—Luckily for her, my girlfriend has never been good with numbers. Even so, she was more than willing to give my new game a try once I explained that there was no way to lose. First, I blindfolded her and removed her clothes. Then, I helped her onto the bed and had her get on all fours. With the Cry Baby nestled deep inside her, I turned on the remote and clicked through the remote’s ten settings before randomly stopping on one. “Which number is it?” She was quiet, feeling the vibrations for a moment before guessing, “Seven?” “No,” I said as I gave her ass a firm smack with my hand. “That was five. Try again.” For every wrong answer, she got a spanking. For every right answer, I rewarded her by pressing our Hitachi Magic Wand against her clitoris. After a good ten minutes of this torment, she couldn’t take any more. She tore off the blindfold, grabbed two fistfuls of my hair, and pulled me down between her legs. Taking the remote from me, she cranked the Cry Baby all the way to “10”, and let me do the rest. Within seconds, she was thrashing and kicking and screaming obscenities on her way to an explosive orgasm that looked remarkably like an unbridled temper tantrum. And it was then that I finally understood why it’s called the Cry Baby.

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Guest Review: Delight Vibrator

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 14:02:00 GMT

The Delight Vibrator Makes a Good Thing Better

BUY NOW!

After my incredible experience with the Curve, I found myself wondering: what would happen if you took the sensuous shape of the Curve and turned it into a vibrator? Would the best dildo ever transform into the best vibrator ever, or would something be lost in translation? To find out, I turned to the Delight. Also manufactured by Fun Factory, this little swirl of, um, delight has already gotten a good deal of attention—and rightly so. Combining both form and function, the Delight is pretty to look at, easy to use, and packs a (surprisingly) serious punch.

Like the Curve, the Delight has an S-like shape that makes it easy to stimulate both the G-spot and the clitoris, and an angled handle that makes playing by yourself a breeze. Even better, the vibrator controls are located at the top of the handle, easy to reach (and operate) no matter how into the action you may be.

Speaking of the action: Um ... wow. Babeland's website says that the Delight has thirty-two different vibration patterns. I lost count somewhere between rapid, short pulses and long, staggered humming. But no matter what fancy pulse pattern the Delight was set to, one thing remained consistent: it vibrated good and hard. Far harder than I would have expected from such a slight toy, in fact, which left me very pleasantly surprised.

To get the most out of the toy, do yourself a favor and read the manual. As a plug and play girl, I just jumped right in, and almost missed out on many of the vibration cycles that aren't as obviously accessible (a slight amount of push button cloak-and-dagger work is required to find them).

Unlike [battery operated] vibrators, the Delight is rechargeable, which means you get to enjoy cord-free, battery-free vibration (about an hour and a half of it, to be precise). To charge the Delight, simply place it firmly in its (very stylish) carrying case and plug the case into the wall. If it's charging, the controls will glow red; once it's fully charged, the glowing will stop

The Delight is a combination of water-resistant plastic and silicone: hard plastic for the handle and motor casing, silicone for the parts you're actually putting in your hoohah. It's splashproof, not waterproof, so while it is okay (and highly recommended) to wash the toy with soap and water before and after each and every use, it's a very bad idea to submerge it completely. And, as with the Curve [and all silicone toys], water-based lube is a go, silicone-based lube is not.

The only downside? Much as I enjoyed the bumping and grinding and pulsing and shaking of the Delight, I still found myself longing for the slightly larger girth of the Curve. But maybe I'm just a secret size queen.

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Guest Review: Eleven from njoy

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:13:58 GMT

BUY NOW!

I’ve been dying to own the njoy Eleven since I first caught a glimpse of it in a photograph some eighteen months ago. Dying. Literally. Just a tiny fraction of my soul slipped away each and every day that the Eleven was not in my home.

I’ve adored all the other njoy toys I’ve had the opportunity to try. The Pure Wand is priceless. The Fun Wand is fabulous. The Pure Plugs are perfection. I keep all my cherished njoys in a special box where no possible harm can come to them.

Now that box has gotten 2.75 pounds heavier due to the addition of the Eleven. And after using the Eleven (many, many times) my soul gradually is coming back to life.

While all the other njoy toys come packaged in sumptuous pink lined boxes, the Eleven arrives in something even more gorgeous. It’s a leather clutch-like bag with hidden magnetic closures. See?

It’s really classy, and if I were a braver woman, I might be tempted to carry the clutch (sans toy) out for a nice dinner. Except that the leather is emblazoned with a tiny imprint of the manufacturer’s name. Maybe some day I’ll screw up my courage and try.

I presented it to my pal one night during play-time. After he finished testing its weight (”Damn this is heavy,” quoth he) and marveling over its surface (”So shiny!”), he added some lube and came at me with it. Because I was slightly terrified of the larger end — it’s 2″ across — I had him start with the thinner end. It was absolutely perfect.

See the ridges in the picture? Wow. So intense on the G-spot! There was much writhing, much gushing, and oh very much screaming. I didn’t expect such an explosive reaction from the ridges.

After enjoying excellent results with the smaller end, my friend flipped the toy over, lubed it up once again and slid it home. I’d expected at least some degree of discomfort from this end — it’s 2″ across! — but had none at all. The stainless steel is so very smooth that with proper preparation and lots of lube, it worked great for me.

My friend found that the groves provided an excellent hand-grip when he was using the larger end on me. When he switched back to my preferred smaller end, things got a little slippery for him, but it wasn’t anything that a quick wipe-down with a washcloth couldn’t handle.

Stainless steel is a wonderful material for temperature play. Dip it in warm or cool water for a thrilling extra sensation. Even with no additional temperature variation, I found that the Eleven grew oh-so-hot once it had been in me for a while. My pal took it out and the toy rolled against my leg. It was burning up. The idea that my body and the toy had together generated that much raw heat got me wound up all over again.

Cleanup is always easy with a non-porous toy like the Eleven. Soap and water, an anti-bacterial cleanser, boiling or a trip through the dishwasher will leave the toy ready for its next use. Don’t use abrasives, and be sure to store the Eleven in a place where it won’t get scratched. If the surface is roughed up, the toy’s beauty will be dimmed, but its functionality will remain intact.

To the designer of the Eleven, I say THANK YOU. Thank you very much. May I make you a batch of my almost famous gingerbread cookies to express my gratitude? Or maybe a couple batches?

It’s the least I could do.

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Guest Review: SaSi Vibrator

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:26:00 GMT

Making “Sensual Intelligence Technology” Your Downtown Friend

What the heck is Sensual Intelligence technology? It’s the first thing you ask yourself when you read about this new-fangled sex toy. It’s what sets SaSi apart from other vibrators. I thought the only real way to use a vibrator was to turn it on. And that’s exactly what I did with my old tried-and-true Hitachi Magic Wand. I turned it on, I came—hard and fast—and I turned it off. But the SaSi vibrator uses “Sensual Intelligence technology” (fancy talk for a user-responsive little brain inside the toy) that allows the vibrator to actually learn what you like, and remember it, so it’s ready to get you off the next time you’re in the mood.

By the way, to call SaSi a vibrator is a total undersell. Yes, it vibrates, but what makes it amazing is this little half-inch wide nub that rotates around under a flexible silicone sheath (that can be removed and sterilized to make everything squeaky clean). They call it Sensual Intelligence technology—I call it the best thing to happen to sex since, well, tongues. Only you’re totally in control of this one. That round nub will rotate in circles (if you like) or in a little semicircle (if you want), or in a teeny arc on the right side of your clit (hey, that’s nice), or back and forth really fast (um, don’t stop, SaSi!). Sound a lot like oral sex? It is! Only you also get to add in the vibration amount you want, and you are in charge of the controls with a little iPod-ish pad. If you find a pattern you looove, there actually is a “don’t stop” button (which none of my lovers has ever had). It’s also really, really quiet, and you can take it in the shower.

But two things make SaSi really outstanding—first there are a bunch of different nub motion patterns, and in the “Learning Mode” your SaSi will walk you through each and every one of them. Find one you like? Press the button on the left and it’s stored in your SaSi vibrator as a favorite. If, like me, you like it hard and fast, you can build up a little library of hard and fast patterns. Or make a mix of throbby and circle-y and fast patterns. Great thing number two is that SaSi is a little sassy—it has a mind of its own, and it likes to throw a few new things into the mix. Once the SaSi vibrator has used its Sensual Intelligence technology (see, I’m starting to like that term...) to figure out what you like, it will add in a new pattern that’s similar, to see if you might like that, too. Guess what? Nine times out of ten, I did.

If all these options sound like they’d be as challenging as programming your universal remote, fear not. SaSi is actually more user-friendly than its predecessor the Je Joue. How do I know it’s user friendly? I couldn’t find my instruction manual, but I figured it out faster than you can turn on your iPhone.

Using the SaSi Vibrator

Now that I’ve covered the basic features, let’s me walk you some of the fun ways to play with the SaSi vibrator.

One way to use your SaSi vibrator is as an appetizer. You don’t have to be in it to win it, just enjoy the ride. It’s an excellent way to get in the mood, even if you are gearing up for something else. I programmed in a bunch of different patterns, and worked my way up to my favorites. A couple of times, actually. It was kind of luxurious to lay back and enjoy, when I was used to popping on and off my Hitachi in a matter of minutes. It was kind of like... sex.

Another way to use your vibrator is to discover what you really like. I can sure tell you how I like to get fucked—angle, depth, volume. But when it came to receiving head, I wasn’t really sure exactly what was happening down there. Who knows where your partner’s tongue is exactly and if they’re swirling it in a semi circle on the top or a U-shape on the bottom? SaSi knows, and SaSi tells all. You like what’s happening? Pick it up and look at it, sugar, and see what’s going on. A little rotation from noon to three o’clock does it just right for me, and now I know. And you’ll be better able to communicate what you like, too.

The drawback? The SaSi vibrator takes some effort and time to get used to. But if you’re willing to spend time tagging your music and creating playlists for your MP3 player, then surely your orgasms deserve the same care and attention. The moments you spend letting your SaSi get to know you are well rewarded.

The upshot: SaSi is like a really great partner: it pays attention, learns as it goes, and isn’t afraid to try something new.

Buy your SaSi now!

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