Sex News

Steubenville

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 21:00:00 GMT

Lots ofcoverage of the Steubenville rape case got me thinking about how do we change this? Part of the horror of this is just how unsurprising it is. Living in a culture where this kind of assault is expected to happen is a core of the problem. It's called rape culture and there's tons of blogs, tumblr posts and videos on the topic. Everything from the idea that short skirts, flirting and getting drunk are all ways of saying "yes" to sex, to thinking that "boys will be boys," to blaming the booze instead of the people who did the crime, are part of rape culture. Everything that makes it seems like the natural order of things that a woman or girl in this situation was raped is part of rape culture.

What we need is to change expectations so that the perpetrators dont feel entitled, and the bystanders don't feel powerless, and the people who hear about it later don't shake their heads and say "what else do you expect when a girl gets drunk?" It isn't invevitable that this happens. People should be able to get stupid drunk and not get raped.

A couple of things I saw out there really point to solutions:

Laci Green's video is awesome- i love how fast she talks and just lays it out, what the expectations should be. Fierce!

Tonally different but also righteous is this letter from a Mom at askmoxie.org, to her sons, advising them how to step in and help a person who is being raped. It's tough to speak up when others are silent and the popular kids are doing wrong, but that's what heroes do.

Yale Needs Sex Ed

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 13:45:20 GMT

The President of Yale has cancelled Sex Week at Yale, a student organized week with all sorts of events promoting sexuality. Babeland participated in Yale Sex Week a number of times, and there is a special frisson at bringing Babeland’s style of feminist sex positivity to such a bastion of establishment power broking.

People, especially young adults need sex education. Some folks like to think that sexual knowledge leads to sluttiness. But that’s not true. Sex information helps people have more satisfying sex and happier lives. Good adult sex ed. goes beyond procreation and disease prevention, it teaches the anatomy of pleasure and the physiology of arousal. It also encourages people to notice their feelings, communicate their desires and to expect sex to be pleasurable. Chaste or promiscuous, the sex they have will be better. Encouraging people, especially women, to insist on their right to sexual pleasure helps undermine a culture of drunken groping that leaves women feeling used.

One of the concerns of Yale President Richard Levin is that sex week is overly commercial. Babeland, for example, has offered workshops and discussions on the G-Spot, Oral Sex Tips, Sex Toys etc., and of course we always mention babeland.com. The fact is there are still very few resources for adult sex education, and Babeland is a good source of the accurate sex information and encouragement that is so needed. Although there are a few new academic programs in sexuality studies (SF State has a great one) and a handful M.D.s who have focused their practices on sex, there isn’t a large credentialed professional class of sex educators at the college level. For the most part today’s sex educators come from a grass roots movement of pleasure activists who have trained each other in non-institutional settings.

Sex education is a big part of our mission at Babeland and we do tons of outreach and in-store workshops that teach various aspects of human sexuality. Helping to empower folks around their sexuality is the juice that makes selling vibrators a thrill. Going to Yale has been a fun part of that. But if Yale wants a less commercial sex week, I hope they pay that forward with a program to train those educators at Yale. I’d love to see a pleasure focused Sexuality curriculum in every college and medical school in the country.

Until that happens the students at Yale are regrouping and are planning a new SWAY- Sex Week All Year. If they invite us we’ll be glad to be a part of it.

Babeland Customers Donate Over $22,000 for Sex Education

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 11:17:13 GMT

We’d like to extend a heartfelt thanks to our customers who really went the distance for our sex education fundraiser this summer. You helped us raise $22,000 for SIECUS, the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, which exceeded last year’s amount by $4,000. Give yourselves a hand! With this donation, SIECUS will continue to promote comprehensive sexuality education across America.

Many thanks to our co-sponsor Jimmyjane for donating the fantastic products that helped support this effort.

And since October is Family Sex Education Month, here are a few things you can do to help pay your own sex education forward to the next generation:

Be prepared. If you’re wondering how to approach the topic, pick up a book like Third Base Ain't What it Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today and How to Teach Them to be Sexually Healthy Adults by Logan Levkoff or Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids- A guide to sharing your beliefs about sexuality, love, and relationships by Amy Lang. Learn how to make sex education a normal part of life rather than one big scary talk.
Be available. If your child asks you a sex question, even if you can’t answer it in the moment, make sure you circle back around to it later so you don’t leave a curious child in the dark.
Be supportive. If you see a child of any age struggling, offer your support in a non-judgmental way. Helping teens find a useful website, a clinic, or a place to talk can make all the difference.
Help other parents tackle sex ed—post a comment on the Moms in Babeland blog about your experience talking to kids about sex! Offer an open mind and friendly advice. Come to our next Talking With Your Kids About Sex event at a Babeland store in New York City or Seattle.

Through the Come for a Cause philanthropy program, Babeland donated $115,000 to 300+ organizations in 2010 and will exceed that in 2011. Look for your next opportunity to support organizations doing fantastic work in the community during Pink October. Babeland is partnering with Young Survival Coalition again to raise money for their work with women under the age of 40 with breast cancer. Let's keep up the good fight!

All Abuzz About Vintage Vibrators

Mon, 19 Sep 2011 13:56:19 GMT

Have you ever wondered where your Minna Ola or Gigi came from, technically speaking? Sex toys have been found in the world since prehistoric times when they were carved out of rocks. The toys we know and love today are evolutions of basic shapes that fueled the fantasies of our ancestors. The history of vibrators has some fascinating high points and tells the story of the social movements that have brought us to our hedonistic contemporary view that sexual pleasure is our birthright.

Babeland’s social history project debuts online at www.vintagevibrators.com. History buffs, techies, collectors, and sex toy fans should all enjoy these novel antiques.

Scroll through the exhibits, imagining yourself being treated for “hysteria” by one of the more tortuous looking devices, or marvel at the beauty-aid imagery used to market early-model vibrators to consumers. Wow your next dinner party guests with vibrator history anecdotes, including the ultimate proof that necessity is the mother of all invention: doctors experienced repetitive motion stress from manual stimulation of their patients, which ultimately led to the invention of this labor-saving device. You can even trace the lineage of your vibrator to its nineteenth century predecessor in the entertaining Modern Classics section.

One thing we learned during this project is that vintage vibrators come with stories. What’s yours? Did you find one in Grandma’s closet? In the attic of your new house? Share your story with us here or email a photo and the backstory to us at marketing@babeland.com and we’ll post it. We want to start a collection of your vintage sex toys, so if we post your photo, we’ll send you a coupon good for $10 off your next order.

Inspiration, Information and Just Because - Link Love

Tue, 02 Aug 2011 05:49:31 GMT

Have any links to share? Tell us what you’re reading in the Comments section

Cosmopolitan surveyed women about sex, dating and relationships. Only 20% of the women who responded said they were "Completely satisfied - wouldn't change a thing" when asked "How satisfied are you with your sex life?". That's really upsetting and means we have our work cut out for us here at Babeland. Maybe a survey of our own is in order, too.

Trojan hopes its 'Good Vibrations' truck will stimulate a discussion about sex -- and we do, too. Babeland's co-founder and the co-author of Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex, Claire Cavanah, was there for the debut Thursday, July 28th and was interviewed by one of our fave sex educators, Logan Levkoff. We'll post a video from the truck soon. Meanwhile, check out the Tri-Phoria vibe if you want a versatile new toy.

A male porn star speaks: James Deen sits down with Salon to wax poetic about sex as art -- and begs you not to learn your moves from him. This is an insightful interview from Salon that let's us get to know a person that most mainstream media outlets aren't profiling. If you're curious about James, you can see him in Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge.

10 Famous Ladies Who Like It Kinky Rihanna, Nicole Kidman, Britney Spears and more! By the way, RiRi, you can shop privately at Babeland anytime you want and we promise we won't call the National Enquire or any other paparazzi.

Inspiration, Information, Just Because – Link Love

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 07:39:39 GMT

Have any links to share? Let us know what you’re reading in the Comments section. This article sounds techy but the Luddites will appreciate it, too, and it features our friends at Jimmyjane prominently. Lessons Interface Designers Can Learn from Teledildonics: Third-wave human-computer interaction, where users engage with machines on an emotional and even physical level, saw little expression in the marketplace, until a bunch of geeks jumped ship for the sex toy industry. Joan Rivers teaching sign language for "orgasm" on The View. Hilarious! 20 Songs About Cunnilingus, can you think of others? German Greens Warn of Dangerous Dildos Phthalates are an issue we've talked about extensively and Babeland's toys are all phthalate-free so you can shop with confidence and peace of mind for your health. Top 5 Female Sex Fantasies ... And What They Mean by Ian Kerner What's with the "sexless" trend? Recent reports of a backlash against sex are bogus, but they do reveal very real fears.

Travel with Sex Toys is OK Says TSA

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 07:15:29 GMT

This article on aol.com's travel blog, Gadling, quotes TSA agents as acknowledging that traveling with vibrators, whips, handcuffs, lube, and dildos is allowed and that they've seen it all before. If you want to avoid attention while dealing with heightened security procedures this summer, follow a few simple guidelines.

Take the batteries out and make sure your vibe isn't going to turn itself on in your suitcase or the overhead bin.
Use the travel lock on your rechargeable toy if it has one. Many do.
Follow the 3-1-1 rule and travel with 3 ounces or less of lube, massage oil, and other liquids. Lubettes are great for travel. Perfect size and the packets are disposable.
Take along restraints in silk, satin, or another material that's less likely to draw attention than something with a chain.
If you're really nervous, a Duckie vibe or Lipstick vibe travels incognito and no one in line will know the difference if it gets pulled out of your bag.
Size matters, according to the TSA. The general rule is that screwdrivers, etc less than 7 inches are allowed. If you're bringing a large metal toy, like the Eleven, on vacation, something less than 7 inches is less likely to be noticed.
Know the laws if you're going to a foreign country. Porn is illegal in Saudi Arabia, for instance. Do a little research before you leave.

For more suggestions, check out this article, Have Toys Will Travel, here on babeland.com. Happy first day of summer!

Share your travel tips or horror stories about traveling with toys with us in the comments.

A Modern Life of All Stress, No Sex?

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 15:51:17 GMT

I probably don't have to tell you that we live in a busy, busy world, with iPhones, second jobs, credit card debt and stress, stress, stress. I think we may have gone so far past the point of being stressed out, we're, like, post-stressed at this point. And in addition to everything else we try to holistically cram into our days (the efforts to exercise and be healthy, hang out with friends, spend quality time with our families and partners), we also want to have successful, satisfying sex lives. No easy feat, for those who are already stretched passed the point of being busy and are full on totally overwhelmed. Recently, the Observer, the New York Times and the Village Voice all published articles on the possibility that "sex was dead" - it simply isn't something we can fit into the daily schedule. And it makes sense. If a person works 14 hours a day, or they have children (or they work 14 hours and have children), sex might as well be the last thing on their mind at the end of a hard day. I know for myself: talking about sex at work all day, while it may seem like a natural aphrodisiac, can actually have the opposite effect. Sex can start to seem painfully like work, especially when it is your work. It's not just simply being busy that stops us from getting horny, though. There has been studies that suggests that especially in women, sexual function can be adversely affected on a physical level by life's distractions, financial concerns, fatigue, workaholism and anxiety about sexual performance or a potentially negative sexual experience. So not only aren't you in the mood, but your lifestyle can also be contributing to you not getting in the mood. Luckily, there is also recent research that suggests that reading erotic literature, masturbating and getting physical exercise are great ways to enhance sexual desire and improve sexual stimulation. So maybe now is a good time for those of us who can't even conceive of fitting something else into our schedule (including, well, sex with our partner) to start thinking about sex differently. It doesn't always have to be an obligatory 15 minutes well after our bedtime, it can also be the sexual and emotional connections we make with our loved ones. Spend time with your sweetheart doing the things that are intimate, be it a romantic dinner, shopping (maybe toy shopping?), or just a casual TV night. Attend a workshop; we have some great ones this month that focus on ways to get relaxed, re-focused and turned on, such as the NYC Yoga Positions for Sex workshop or the Seattle Healthy Communication in Relationships and Sex, Sanity and Sleep workshops. But most of all, take this opportunity to acknowledge yourself as a busy person who can't do everything. Unless human cloning happens sometime soon.

I Have Sex (And I Support Planned Parenthod)

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 07:58:23 GMT

There's been a lot of amazing viral efforts in the last month to rally around Planned Parenthood, following the House of Representatives' recent vote to end their federal funding. These efforts been coming from both the organization itself, as well as from the supporters of the organization's reproductive health care, sexuality education, cancer screenings and family planning information. I woke up to a particularly inspiring one yesterday from Wesleyan college students and knew I had to re-post it. My favorite part about this video is that it serves as an amazing reminder that sex education and sexual health services are foundational aspects to having happy and healthy youth populations, who are informed about their sexual choices and prepared to make their own life decisions. Kudos to the creators of this video! httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaxBR1AiFS4&feature=player_embedded And Babeland customers have their own way to show their support, too! Buy Proper Attire condoms at any Babeland store or online and proceeds will go to support Planned Parenthood. How cool is that?

Sexuality Education or “Live Nude Girl”?

Fri, 04 Mar 2011 13:57:39 GMT

As some of you may have already seen on the news and across the blogosphere, professor John Michael Bailey of Northwestern University is in a lot of hot water over a live sex demonstration that occurred in an optional lecture for his human sexuality class. In some of the first articles I found released regarding the incident, though, it wasn't very easy to figure out what exactly had happened. One author referred to "penetration with a sex toy," though did not disclose what sort of sex toy it was. Another referred to the toy as a "f---saw," I would assume for shock value, but didn't mention what the purpose of the public penetration was, except to say the motorized toy was "kinky" and therefore fell under the topic of the lecture. I have to admit, after about a half hour or so of online research, I couldn't really say that I knew what really went on in this classroom. The coverage felt as unsatisfying and as ineffective as a censor's floating black rectangle over a pair of breasts. I had an idea of what the story looked like, without the actual details. Thankfully, Salon.com's staff writer Tracy Clark-Flory published an interview with John Michael Bailey, which (in addition to the breadcrumbs I'd already found) filled in many of those blanks for me. I discovered that the class had watched a video during the formal class on female ejaculation and the G-spot (two areas of contention within human sexuality) and having observed that video themselves, the panelists for the "Network for Kinky People" offered to demonstrate how a woman ejaculates, utilizing a modified electric saw (presumably with a insertable toy attached). The woman involved (whose name, incidentally, as well as personal photos, have been distributed widely with the story - far more so than her partner's) thus disrobed and she and her partner engaged in a sexual act involving the toy. Now, obviously, this demonstration was explicit, as it contained nudity and penetration. Yet as Clark-Flory herself points out, "aren't we overreacting a bit?" The primary motivation voiced by the panelists was their belief that the video (which may or may not have been pornographic) ineffectively demonstrated the dynamics of stimulating the G-spot to ejaculation. Bailey himself did multiple check-ins with the students to affirm that the material was explicit and that those who were uncomfortable could leave. The question is, then, where is the harm? Perhaps the perceived harm comes at least in part from the "Edited for TV" approach reporters seem to be taking, rather than stating what actually happened in this classroom. If the incident is indeed as Bailey accounts it, it served an educational purpose of teaching students what a woman achieving G-spot orgasm might look it (as well as how to do it). Also, for any artist who has taken a drawing class (or a medical student who has observed a pelvic exam, for that matter), nudity serves its place in the classroom. Furthermore, those who remained in the classroom to observe it had a genuine interest in being there. Still, regardless of these nuances, the treatment of the demonstration as media story mirrors the way we seem to treat sexuality in general: foggy titillations that fails to deliver actual information. What do you think? Did Bailey go to far in allowing this in a classroom? Or do you think it's media hype? For another perspective on this topic, check out what Babeland's co-founder Rachel has to say over at Moms in Babeland.r another perspective on this topic, check out what Babeland's co-founder Rachel has to say over at Moms in Babeland.

Brand of the Month: Cal Exotics! An Interview with Susan Colvin, President

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 10:06:03 GMT

This month, we're highlighting one of our favorite sex toy makers: Cal Exotics. From the affordable and adorable (like the Butterfly Kiss, who's become a major bestseller on Babeland.com) to the sleek and multi-function (Jopen Vanity series), Cal Exotics has long been bringing us a great variety of toys. And all month long, we'll be highlighting Cal Exotics toys with sales, deals, and specials -- be sure to keep checking back for the latest! With that in mind, we ask Cal Exotics President Susan Colvin a few questions about where they've been, how they got here, and where they're going next (hopefully with a little input from you, their satisfied customers). Read on! Babeland: Tell our customers a little bit about how Cal Ex began. Susan: In the early 1990’s, I was working as the General Manager of a full-service adult products distributor that sold magazines, books, videos, and a handful of adult novelty items imported from the Far East. When the owners of that company decided to close after a long and very expensive legal battle with the US Federal Government, I saw a future for myself and a handful of loyal employees in the novelty business. I worked out a deal with the owners to purchase the existing "Swedish Erotica" branded line of toys, and California Exotic Novelties was born. There were about 200 products in the "Swedish Erotica" line that we took over, almost all of which were packaged for a male audience. Babeland: How did you get here from "Swedish Erotica," and what's the biggest difference between Cal Ex then and Cal Ex now? Susan: Our product line is 180º from where we started. While we make plenty of products for men, our primary focus is to create products that a woman finds pleasing to the eye, touch, and function. When we first started making vibrators in bright colors, plenty of our distributors (and our competition) thought we were out of our minds. But we knew it was only a matter of time before women would find their own path to pleasure, so we persisted. We have a great creative staff in product development, package design, and manufacturing. It has definitely paid off, not just for California Exotic Novelties, but for women around the world. Babeland: How many slimline vibes did you produce when you first started? And how many varieties do you now produce? Susan: We sold two types ("Rainbow Slimline" and "Rainbow Super-Slim"), with ten colors each. Our selection today includes hundreds of slimline designs, shapes, colors, textures, and finishes. And we're careful to provide as large a size selection as possible, from super-slim to extra-girthy. The first slimline series of vibrators that we sold was called "Raquel," and featured a photo of a naked girl on the front AND back of the packaging. Looking back, I see the influence of the male-dominated buying public. We were able to convince distributors and retailers to start stocking multiple colors, but the industry wasn’t ready for more sophisticated packaging. Babeland: How have your female customers affected your toy development over time? Susan: Our female customers' needs have evolved as technology has changed. In the early days, for example, we tried selling rechargeable vibrators, but learned that they didn't sell at the retail level. We saw great potential, but the consumer wasn't ready for it. We ended up discontinuing the items at a huge loss; it took years for those products to find their audience. We also introduced several other features that are now taken for granted in sex toys: waterproof, remote control, phthalate-free, and multi-function. Also, the internet has proven to be a great educator regarding pleasure products, their uses, and features. Women can now easily access any number of sites that educate and explain the various products that we manufacture. Our complete line includes over 3000 items, so it's a daunting task to explain the differences without that resource. Also, we spend months on the road visiting not just our distributors, but also retailers, home party businesses, and E-tailers. The feedback that we receive is invaluable, and we honestly try to incorporate these comments into our products. Babeland: What’s one of the most popular toys you make for women? And why do you think women love it so much? Susan: Recently, the Butterfly Kiss arouser has pushed the popular Jack Rabbit model off its pedestal. The Butterfly Kiss is designed for simultaneous G-spot and clitoral arousal, in an easy-to-hold and maneuverable shape. This item has quietly climbed to the #1 position on our bestsellers list. I think women like the idea of a dual-purpose arouser without a lot of moving parts; it's easy to use, and its function is easily understood. Babeland: When you look around the sex toy market, is there another company’s toy that you wish you’d invented? Susan: Not for one second! Our success is about our own creativity, never about what someone else has done. We find it creates negative energy to waste time trying to emulate rather than innovate. Sure, new companies have sprung up, and existing companies have come up with new and exciting products… those creations define who they are. California Exotic Novelties is all about well-built, easily available products across all price points; we're driven creatively by the in-house abilities of the great people at our company. Babeland: Where do you see your sex toy designs moving in the future? What are some trends you’re noticing? Susan: We've essentially seen an entire industry emerge over the 17 years we've been in business, from small mom-and-pop adult stores to the more glamorous large retailers popping up all over the world. Add to that the very refined specialty shops with loyal followings, like Babeland, and it's clear that the buying demographic has changed completely over the years. The power of the internet, with all the resources available, has made our users more product- and technology-savvy than ever (and hip to materials, functions, and what a product will do for them). Our trending points to more high-tech products at the top-end price range of products, but our well-priced products are the mainstay of our high-volume business. Babeland: If you could ask our customers one question, what would it be? Susan: What’s your favorite toy, and what changes would you like made to it? Our best ideas come from you! We're grateful for all of the support we've received since we opened our doors, and we look forward to many more years in a business that we love. The business of pleasure: what could be more exciting than that? iple colors, but the industry wasn’t ready for more sophisticated packaging. Babeland: How have your female customers affected your toy development over time? Susan: Our female customers' needs have evolved as technology has changed. In the early days, for example, we tried selling rechargeable vibrators, but learned that they didn't sell at the retail level. We saw great potential, but the consumer wasn't ready for it. We ended up discontinuing the items at a huge loss; it took years for those products to find their audience. We also introduced several other features that are now taken for granted in sex toys: waterproof, remote control, phthalate-free, and multi-function. Also, the internet has proven to be a great educator regarding pleasure products, their uses, and features. Women can now easily access any number of sites that educate and explain the various products that we manufacture. Our complete line includes over 3000 items, so it's a daunting task to explain the differences without that resource. Also, we spend months on the road visiting not just our distributors, but also retailers, home party businesses, and E-tailers. The feedback that we receive is invaluable, and we honestly try to incorporate these comments into our products. Babeland: What’s one of the most popular toys you make for women? And why do you think women love it so much? Susan: Recently, the Butterfly Kiss arouser has pushed the popular Jack Rabbit model off its pedestal. The Butterfly Kiss is designed for simultaneous G-spot and clitoral arousal, in an easy-to-hold and maneuverable shape. This item has quietly climbed to the #1 position on our bestsellers list. I think women like the idea of a dual-purpose arouser without a lot of moving parts; it's easy to use, and its function is easily understood. Babeland: When you look around the sex toy market, is there another company’s toy that you wish you’d invented? Susan: Not for one second! Our success is about our own creativity, never about what someone else has done. We find it creates negative energy to waste time trying to emulate rather than innovate. Sure, new companies have sprung up, and existing companies have come up with new and exciting products… those creations define who they are. California Exotic Novelties is all about well-built, easily available products across all price points; we're driven creatively by the in-house abilities of the great people at our company. Babeland: Where do you see your sex toy designs moving in the future? What are some trends you’re noticing? Susan: We've essentially seen an entire industry emerge over the 17 years we've been in business, from small mom-and-pop adult stores to the more glamorous large retailers popping up all over the world. Add to that the very refined specialty shops with loyal followings, like Babeland, and it's clear that the buying demographic has changed completely over the years. The power of the internet, with all the resources available, has made our users more product- and technology-savvy than ever (and hip to materials, functions, and what a product will do for them). Our trending points to more high-tech products at the top-end price range of products, but our well-priced products are the mainstay of our high-volume business. Babeland: If you could ask our customers one question, what would it be? Susan: What’s your favorite toy, and what changes would you like made to it? Our best ideas come from you! We're grateful for all of the support we've received since we opened our doors, and we look forward to many more years in a business that we love. The business of pleasure: what could be more exciting than that?

The Two of Us: Relationship Advice on the Subway

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 13:47:24 GMT

Like most NYC commuters, I spend a lot of time staring at the advertisements in the subway on my ride into work. One particular ad recently caught my eye: a photo of couple in bed together, the woman smiling at her snoring husband. The top of the ad reads: "He may not always be charming. But he's always your prince." With no photo of a product or a mention of a service at the bottom, I was curious about what the ad was offering, so I investigated it. Turns out, I wasn't the only one whose interest was peaked. The Huffington Post's Martha Temlock recently posted on the ad, pointing out that it "was paid for by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (via the National Healthy Resource Center) to encourage couples to work on their relationship" and it appears on mass transit systems in New York, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Chicago and Washington, D.C. The website itself, the TwoOfUs.org, dispenses tips and advice on meeting the challenges of dating, engagements, family and married life. Now if getting relationship advice from the US government makes you a bit uneasy, you're not alone. Temlock points out in her post that there are financial motivations for government officials to promote marriage: after all, as anyone who's done it knows, divorce can be an expensive undertaking. And of course, considering the tough, sometimes unfair economic choices being made in our recessive economy, promoting less spending on assistance programs is one way to cut the fat. I do agree with Temlock, though, that subway ads might not be the most wonderful use of money, either. That being said, the website offers a space to have a multitude of discussions on what's difficult (as well as what's fabulous) about relationships. In my mind, we can't have enough of those conversations. Modern relationships of any kind are not easy and require a lot of thoughtful negotiation and open communication. At the very least, I applaud TwoOfUs.org for bringing that sort of talk to the table, though I would also add that I wouldn't mind seeing more forms of partnership represented on the site, such as non-monogamous partners or gay unions. After all, breaking up is hard to do...for all of us.

The Race to the Finish Line: Medicalized Orgasms in Orgasm, Inc.

Fri, 18 Feb 2011 14:07:41 GMT

Last week, just in time for the sexiest holiday of the year, the film Orgasm Inc. opened. Despite its racy title and advertising, though, the film's message is a bit more sobering. It examines the commercial medicalization of female sexuality, specifically the race between pharmaceutical companies to find and patent a female form of Viagra, be it a topical cream, pill or hormonal patch. Filmmaker Liz Canner was originally hired to create explicit content for the drug company Vivus for their clinical trials, which lead her to her own documentation of how drug companies develop and talk about their drugs for improving female sexual functionality. Throughout the film, she illuminates how drug makers are neck in neck to get FDA approval to cure the disease known as "Female Sexual Dysfunction" (FSD), an ailment that some physicians and sexuality experts claim was fabricated by the drug companies themselves in order to open up a large potential market: namely, women experiencing concerns regarding their own sexual normalcy and sexual well being. For instance, the film follows one woman who undergoes a dangerous and potentially paralyzing procedure as a case study subject for a new device called the "Orgasmatron" (no mention of Woody Allen's Sleeper here, though). During her interview, she stresses how she simply wants to feel "normal," which she defines as being able to achieve orgasm through vaginal intercourse (most women require some form of clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm - to find out more about simultaneous orgasms with your partner, check out this article from our website). The feelings expressed by this interviewee are just a part of the important and enlightening messages threaded through the film about the ways in which American women are misinformed, misdirected and manipulated into believing their sexual experiences are mysterious, unnatural or diseased. To find out more about the culture from which FSD was created, check out Dallas' article on the subject from the Babeland Blog. Orgasm Inc. is currently in limited release and expected to be available for purchase in April.

Is Cunnilingus…Oscar-Worthy?

Fri, 04 Feb 2011 09:00:16 GMT

Going down on ladies seems to be pretty popular these days: if you're a member of the Academy, that is! This year, The Kids Are Alright and Black Swan, two films with scenes involving oral sex on women (and between women!), have both been nominated for Best Film. Additionally, Annette Bening and Michelle Williams have been nominated for Best Actress for the films The Kids Are Alright and Blue Valentine respectively. Williams' nomination comes despite the previous MPAA controversy surrounding the film's sex scene, which had originally marked it with a NC-17 rating (this was later changed to an R rating). Considering the overturning of that decision and these recent Oscar nods, the consensus is clear: cunnilingus is in. And maybe, winning big! Want some oral sex tips that will last beyond the Oscars season? Next Tuesday the 7th at 8 pm, join Babeland Soho for a free Oral Sex Tips for College Students workshop. We'll give you cunnilingus and fellatio tips to ensure that your partner gives you an A+ on your Valentine's Day oral exam. Pick up tips to keep things slippery, and tricks to coordinate your hand and mouth techniques.

Lyon Martin Health Services Needs Our Help!

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 16:51:46 GMT

The San Francisco Bay Area and women & trans folks everywhere were delivered devastating news Tuesday when plans to close down Lyon Martin Health Services were released. Lyon Martin is a vital women's clinic, which was established in San Francisco in 1979 to serve lesbians who lacked access to nonjudgmental healthcare. Since then, the clinic has expanded to assist even more segments of the population. For more info on Lyon-Martin's history, the work they've been doing and opportunities to assist in efforts to keep Lyon-Martin open, please visit their site. At an emergency community forum, with over 100 attendees pulled together in less than 5 hours, a lot of information was shared about how the clinic reached this state and what the bottom line needs to stay open now are. A SF Bay Times reporter was in attendance and wrote this detailed article, which offers important information. I can personally attest that the service which is provided by Lyon Martin far exceeds any quotable statistics. To have health concerns to begin with can often be terrifying, then add to that the lived reality that seeking assistance for said concern could damage you even further, rather than assist and alleviate. Such is the predicament many lesbians, low-income women, trans-people and HIV positive people face, every time the notion of “health care” comes up. We’ve had mainstream health care providers treat us with disdain, disgust, and disregard (and all too often, blatant physical, verbal and emotional abuse). For many of us, we had never been treated with respect or honest concern around our health until we walked into Lyon Martin. At Lyon Martin, I’m a valued member of our community whose health and well being matters: not just for the state of my life, but for the state of our community at large. They don’t want anything bad to happen to me, I feel that deeply as a result of my experiences with them, and I definitely don’t want anything bad to happen to them! Community members interested in answering Lyon-Martin’s appeal for emergency funding can take one of the following steps:

Donate online at www.lyon-martin.org
Send a donation via check to: 1748 Market Street, Suite 201, San Francisco, CA 94102.
Make a donation over the phone by calling 415-901-7131
Attend one of the upcoming Lyon-Martin fund-raising events. A list of upcoming events is available here

Come for a Cause for National Philanthropy Day!

Mon, 15 Nov 2010 04:00:00 GMT

There are multiple reasons to come for a cause this week. Today is National Philanthropy Day and this week is National Hunger and Homelessness Awareness Week. This holiday season, we're offering Babeland customers a way to get involved in helping others for the season while shopping for their favorite Babeland toys. Buy a Babeland Orgasm in a Box (Hers or His), the popular kits that contain all the toys any lucky recipient needs to get off, and we'll donate $2 to Seattle's Urban Rest Stop, providing free restrooms, showers and laundry facilities to homeless men, women and children, and New York City's Food Bank, one of the country's largest food banks, distributing food to over 1.5 million people every year. Last year, through the Come for a Cause program, we were able to contribute nearly $90,000 to over 300 organizations. I can't wait to see the results for 2010! Happy Holidays!

My Contribution to the Scarleteen Blog Carnival

Wed, 03 Nov 2010 05:00:24 GMT

If you haven't already been checking it out, Scarleteen is an invaluable resource for sex education and frank information for young people; it hosts around 200 comprehensive sexuality, health and relationship articles, guides and factsheets, as well as over 1,000 in-depth advice answers and extensive external resource lists for each topical section of the site. It even has a collective blog and an amazing dictionary of sexuality terms. This past month, a number of amazing sex educators have contributed to the Scarleteen Blog Carnival, designed to get a variety of voices in on the action as well as spread information regarding Scarleteen (including how you can donate to the cause!) For my Babeland.com contribution to the Scarleteen Blog Carnival, I am writing about why sex education is so important, specifically emphasizing why we should do what we can to support Scarleteen.com and keep good information open and accessible to young people. I started the discussion by putting the question to my own friends: Why is sex ed for youth so important? Christina, a recent UC Berkeley Psychology Graduate with a passion for sex education and information, put it frankly: "if we don't provide information, they will make it up. Because we want to encourage healthy and safe sexual practices, which grow out of good information and education. Because we want our children to see sex as a healthy part of their lives. Because if they think it's scary or dirty, they will be scared and sad and anxious, with their partners and spouses, and have difficulty with this normal part of relationships. Because if they are uneducated, they will make bad decisions, and put themselves and others at risk. Because without information, they will not be sexually confident, and will be vulnerable to others taking advantage of them. Because young people seek out information, forbidden or no, and we'd rather have them learn from us then from those who seek to influence them, or from those who know no better themselves." Christina also sent me this link to a photo slideshow from Slate.com of sex ed ads from Europe. She must have been reading my mind, because in the same moment, I was writing about how I recently had a chat with Babeland founder Rachel Venning about her trip to Germany. That talk took me back to when I myself traveled there, at the ripe age of 13. I remember this trip was the first time I saw boobs on the front of a magazine, out in front on the magazine rack (no brown paper wrapper) on the street near the cafe where we sipped our tea. There I also saw nudity on TV and learned about a different culture's less "puritanical" look at sexuality. If I have learned anything in my travels and experiences, it is that there is always something new to learn. Being open to learning and growing are very valuable traits in anyone, and that is what communicating about sex and sexuality does: it helps us to grow and understand ourselves, our life force and our power. Mark echoed a similar philosophy in his response to my question on Babeland's Facebook page, saying that "education is so important, western civilization is so behind other cultures and world attitudes regarding sex. The chastity belt some religions impose through their doctrine, as well inhibit open education and acceptance. It's time people realize that sexually uneducated children grow up and propagate the same fears and moral misunderstandings to the next generation. I moved to a state recently only to find that it has a law stating that it is illegal to posses a dildo, unless it's for education purposes. But adult teachers are embarrassed to use one in a class room for education. It's easier to turn on a pre-approved video and sit back and watch the lesson." In light of my own young experiences and considering my curiosity for life, who knows what I would have possibly seen by the time I was my daughter's (or, say, Willow Smith's) age, growing up nowadays! At 11 and 9 respectively, these kids are already grown up, in a sense. They are learning a lot about the world, every single day, and it truly amazes me how smart our children are. My daughter is still looking over my shoulder and asking questions at a rapid rate. I feel blessed that I can teach her and guide her, but also navigate her, as well as my own, limits. What happens, though, when a kid has a question and they don't have someone to talk to? These days, almost everyone does the same thing: they Google it. (Enter white screening and other ways that the Internet is trying to protect our children from the multi-million dollar industry of S.E.X.) When I was young and the Internet was a baby, things were different. I had to get my information from different places. I still remember what I ingested at a young age, including MTV, found Playboys, and anything that got my curious little mind going. The truth is that all children are the same as we were - they will one day be adults and like us, they will have to take time to process what they see, hear, and experience. Today, the Internet and all of its information can seem to be a blessing or a curse. I believe Scarleteen is one of the blessings. In the end, thinking about this project can make my mind wander to a lot of places, but I always try to come back to what's most important. I know sometimes my purpose in this world is not so much as the storyteller, but as the link or the messenger. So I have tried to include some links for you (mostly to posts at Moms in Babeland and AAGBlog) and a little bit of a story. I hope to leave you with what's important. My first thought is power. Sex is powerful. Knowledge is powerful. For these reasons, I am forever grateful for my opportunities to talk to the world via new forms of media, which are sprouting every day. I do believe sex education is not only important, it is vital and that is what makes Scarleteen so invaluable. I would like to thank Heather Corinna and AAG for their drive and diligence to keep this site as open and informative as possible. Please read more about the Scarleteen Blog Carnival and donate whatever you can. Whether it's a few dollars, a repost of this message or a conversation with someone you care about: spreading the word about sex positive information and communication is not just important, it is essential for a healthy life! These are just some of the ways we can all make it better for ourselves, each other and children: not just those in the United States, but all over the world. Thank you so much, Scarleteen! And thank you for reading. Please take this opportunity to donate now and learn more. and world attitudes regarding sex. The chastity belt some religions impose through their doctrine, as well inhibit open education and acceptance. It's time people realize that sexually uneducated children grow up and propagate the same fears and moral misunderstandings to the next generation. I moved to a state recently only to find that it has a law stating that it is illegal to posses a dildo, unless it's for education purposes. But adult teachers are embarrassed to use one in a class room for education. It's easier to turn on a pre-approved video and sit back and watch the lesson." In light of my own young experiences and considering my curiosity for life, who knows what I would have possibly seen by the time I was my daughter's (or, say, Willow Smith's) age, growing up nowadays! At 11 and 9 respectively, these kids are already grown up, in a sense. They are learning a lot about the world, every single day, and it truly amazes me how smart our children are. My daughter is still looking over my shoulder and asking questions at a rapid rate. I feel blessed that I can teach her and guide her, but also navigate her, as well as my own, limits. What happens, though, when a kid has a question and they don't have someone to talk to? These days, almost everyone does the same thing: they Google it. (Enter white screening and other ways that the Internet is trying to protect our children from the multi-million dollar industry of S.E.X.) When I was young and the Internet was a baby, things were different. I had to get my information from different places. I still remember what I ingested at a young age, including MTV, found Playboys, and anything that got my curious little mind going. The truth is that all children are the same as we were - they will one day be adults and like us, they will have to take time to process what they see, hear, and experience. Today, the Internet and all of its information can seem to be a blessing or a curse. I believe Scarleteen is one of the blessings. In the end, thinking about this project can make my mind wander to a lot of places, but I always try to come back to what's most important. I know sometimes my purpose in this world is not so much as the storyteller, but as the link or the messenger. So I have tried to include some links for you (mostly to posts at Moms in Babeland and AAGBlog) and a little bit of a story. I hope to leave you with what's important. My first thought is power. Sex is powerful. Knowledge is powerful. For these reasons, I am forever grateful for my opportunities to talk to the world via new forms of media, which are sprouting every day. I do believe sex education is not only important, it is vital and that is what makes Scarleteen so invaluable. I would like to thank Heather Corinna and AAG for their drive and diligence to keep this site as open and informative as possible. Please read more about the Scarleteen Blog Carnival and donate whatever you can. Whether it's a few dollars, a repost of this message or a conversation with someone you care about: spreading the word about sex positive information and communication is not just important, it is essential for a healthy life! These are just some of the ways we can all make it better for ourselves, each other and children: not just those in the United States, but all over the world. Thank you so much, Scarleteen! And thank you for reading. Please take this opportunity to donate now and learn more.

Original Plumbing Magazine and National Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 07:00:59 GMT

As those of you who have seen it in our stores already know, we carry the quarterly press Original Plumbing, the print magazine designed to address the diverse experiences of transgendered men as well as those in and around the trans community. The San Francisco-based magazine is beautifully made, full of brightly colored photos and inspiring stories about identity, with such varied themes as employment and activism, health and safer sex, hair and fashion. OP's Editor in Chief Amos Mac was generous enough to discuss issues of trans health and breast cancer with me for the Babeland Blog, as OP's contribution to this month's National Breast Cancer Awareness effort. While only minimal research has been done into the incidences of breast cancer amongst transmen, fear of stigmatization and lack of health care access can often contribute to late diagnosis or less than adequate treatment. With this need for further public education in mind, Amos has provided the Babeland Blog with his personal take on transmen and health care: Sarah: What would you like the trans community to know about breast exams and general health concerns for transmen? Amos: As a transman, I continue to get regular check ups, gynocological and otherwise. Even though I had top surgery 2 years ago, my doctor still gives me regular breast tissue exams, and I feel like it's something that is important to stay on top of, as well as gyno exams. Before my top surgery, I would get regularly checked for breast cancer and even though it was uncomfortable for me because I felt so disconnected from my chest, I did it anyway because my health is important to me. Sarah: What should transmen consider when choosing a GP or a OBGYN? Amos: I'd talk to friends in your community about local doctors or health clinics that they have gone to. Find out who the knowledgeable doctors are when it comes to trans issues, who are the respectful doctors, who have other trans people in your area seen? Use the Internet. Connect with people locally. If you live in a small town, make phone calls to local doctors and ask them any questions you may have before setting up an appointment with doctor who may, in the end, not understand the needs of a trans patient. In the end I think that you should connect with your community in real life or online, and don't be afraid to ask other trans people advice as to where you should go. Here's a small list of resources, compiled by Babeland's sex educators. While these centers are in specific locations, their websites also contain useful information regarding health and well being: The Lyon-Martin Health Services in San Francisco The Mazzoni Center of Philadelphia The Vancouver Coastal Health Transgender Health Program And there's more to look forward to from Amos Mac and Original Plumbing next week, when they release their 5th issue: the Fashion Issue. Stay tuned for updates on events happening for the release on the East and West Coast!

Five More Days to Win Moregasm for National Sex Ed Month!

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 11:47:56 GMT

In honor of National Family Sex Education Month, our Moms in Babeland have been giving away a copy of Moregasm, Babeland's amazing sex manual. All you have to do to qualify is post on the Moms in Babeland blog and you're entered to win! As part of our celebration of National Family Sex Education Month, Amy Lang MA, sexual health educator for over 20 years as well as the creator of Birds + Bees + Kids, is guest blogging and answering questions regarding talking to your kids about sex. Here's an example of some of the great work she's been doing:

Question: Both my girls (8 and 14) get all grossed out when I try to use sex terms like ‘clitoris’ and ‘vulva’, and the word ‘puberty’ recently sent one screaming from the room. How can I help them get more comfortable with the subject, if we can’t even get past the terms?

Amy: The short answer: you can’t. The long answer, they’ll get over it, or they won’t. The important thing is that you are using the correct words and talking about it. Make sure they have books to consult, so they can get their questions answered without having to have a conversation.

My Ask ANYTHING Journal is good for this -- your daughter can write her question to you and you write back. No embarrassing face-to-face time. And then you have some great conversations starters.

Finally, acknowledge that it’s uncomfortable to talk about this stuff and you totally understand that they don’t want to hear about it. Then I would go on to say that part of your job as their mom is to keep them healthy and safe and talking about sex, love and relationships is part of the deal.

Want to get involved in the conversation? Have an anecdote or a comment about talking to your kids about sex? Visit the Moms in Babeland blog and share your experiences with others!

Dan Savage: Our October Babe of the Month!

Wed, 20 Oct 2010 10:45:46 GMT

This month, our choice for Babeland's Babe of the Month was clear: no one other than Savage Love's Dan Savage! It was by no means a difficult choice, considering the amazing things that Dan has done this month for LGBT Youth by launching the "It Gets Better" Project, a video campaign designed to let at risk LGBT kids know that there is a life beyond their experience of bullying and isolation in schools. In fact, we were so inspired by him that we made our own videos too, for our New York City and Seattle locations, and blogged about it! He's spoken to numerous media outlets regarding the project and has garnered videos from amazing advocates and allies, including Kate Bornstein (our Babeland Pick for "It Gets Better"!), Tim Gunn and Hilary Clinton. He continues to fight the good fight by speaking boldly in his column, regarding the severity of LGBT youth suicides. Thank you, Dan, for being an amazing sex educator and advocate for LGBT rights. You're a Babe! If you'd like to show your own support today, wear purple! Today is GLAAD's Spirit Day, so wearing purple in support of LGBT youth and letting others know about the project is a great way to get involved.