Interviews

Interview With Great In Bed Co-Authors, Dr. Debby Herbenick and Grant Stoddard

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 17:00:00 GMT

On Wednesday, February 8^th, Babeland is hosting a book launch and discussion for Great in Bed with co-authors Dr. Debby Herbenick and Grant Stoddard. The comprehensive sex guide offers a she thinks/he thinks perspective on modern sex and hits just in time for Valentine’s Day!

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher and teacher at The Kinsey Institute and Indiana University who started teaching sex ed to college students at IU. She has written sex columns for numerous newspapers and magazines and is frequently called on by journalists, which is how she met Grant Stoddard. Grant is an author and journalist, covering sex and lifestyles for numerous magazines, including New York, GQ and Glamour. Grant started writing about sex as a naïve intern at Nerve.com with the “I Did It For Science” column. They both have great blogs, too. Check out MySexProfessor.com, and GrantStoddard.com.

Q: One of the things I appreciated about Great in Bed is that it gives a lot of advice about handling the different situations that come with sex – from the first date to the morning after. How did you decide what to focus on? There’s so much to say about sex!

Debby: We wanted Great in Bed to be able to help a wide range of people to have fantastic sex – whether they were just starting out with someone or trying to find ways to make sex better after several months or years together. We also, of course, realize that quality sex doesn’t wait until you have your clothes off and are rolling around naked. You’ve got to meet someone first. Get things to go well. Flirt, touch, kiss, have something to say to one another. All of it matters.

Grant: I thought of practical information that I really could have used instead of learning through trial and error. And of course, I’m always striving to be better in bed (as we all should be) so I learned a lot of fascinating new information through my research and even more from Dr. Debby’s wealth of knowledge in the field. I’ve already referred to it a dozen times or more! (Not *during* the act, obviously.)

Q: There’s a message throughout the book about feeling confident. We teach sex workshops at Babeland and notice that this is the number one challenge for our customers. Why do people generally feel this lack of sexual confidence?

Debby: As a society, we don’t give people much sex education or information to go on. Most of us have a sense that we’re pretty much in the dark when it comes to sex. It takes practice, learning, exposure to ideas, a partner who smiles or moans and lets you know things are going well – all of these can build confidence.

Grant: I think it’s also because people fear judgment. We’re bombarded with information about what’s “normal” and what’s not and we may be hesitant to share what turns us on for fear of feeling judged. I remember plucking up the courage to do this particular thing I had refrained from doing for weeks — thinking I’d freak my partner out – only to find that she loved that thing, too. Through experience I’ve learned that the more that we are our true selves (in sex and in life) the happier we are. This is borne out in several studies in the book — some of which were authored by Debby herself.

Q: Valentine’s Day is coming up soon. Do you have any tips for making it memorable?

Debby: Aside from grabbing a copy of Great in Bed, turning to a random page, and trying what you find? Sure. If you’ve got a partner, talk to them about what you want it to be like. Not everyone wants to go out to dinner and have a big box of chocolates. Some people would rather stay in and watch the same movie at home that they watched in the theater on their first date with you. Some people want a threesome or a massage or to go away on a spontaneous weekend trip, even if it’s just to the next town.

Grant: Whether you’re a new couple or if you’ve been together for years, make dinner together. You get to create something together, enjoy it together, and be in each other’s company. It’s much funner than going out to eat and you can go from dessert to the bedroom in no time and bust out all the new knowledge you’ve gleaned from Great in Bed!

Q: We’re excited to host you both at Babeland on February 8th. What can people expect at the event?

Debby: We’re excited to meet everyone who’s coming out. There will be drinks and plenty of sex talk; we’ll be taking anonymous questions and interviewing each other. Of course, Babeland is known for its accessible and yet ever-entertaining array of sex toys, so we’re hoping to show people around the store, too, and come up with a few new ideas for being great in bed.

Grant: Some good advice, lively discussion, and more ideas for giving hand jobs than you ever thought possible.

Great in Bed Book Launch and Discussion, Wednesday, February 8th at Babeland SoHo, 7pm, free. Call 212-966-2120 for more information.

Kandi Burruss Debuts New Sex Toy Line at Babeland

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 08:11:39 GMT

Whether you know Kandi Burruss from the Real Housewives of Atlanta, or from one of her Grammy award-winning songs, or from her web show, Kandi Koated Nights, you’ve come to expect a frank, sassy, strong woman. When she came out with w new line of sex toys developed with OhMiBod, we knew it would be hot. Now that the toys have arrived, they don't disappoint. Babeland is thrilled to be the first store to carry her Bedroom Kandi line and we’re welcoming her at Babeland SoHo on Thursday, December 15th for a special party to debut the line. Come and meet her!

Bedroom Talk with Kandi Burruss from the Real Housewives of Atlanta
Thursday, December 15, 7pm,
Free Babeland SoHo, 43 Mercer Street
You’ve enjoyed watching Kandi Burruss’ sassy and down-to-earth presence on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, now help us celebrate the launch of Bedroom Kandi, her elegant new line of discreet toys. Meet Kandi and hear about her inspiration for the toys, as well as her experiences on the Real Housewives of Atlanta! Bring your BFFs for a ladies night out with Kandi, including manicures by the Polish Bar of Brooklyn, cocktails, Bedroom Kandi raffle prizes and more.

Here’s what Kandi had to say when we chatted with her about the toys.

Babeland: You’ve had such an interesting career in entertainment, how did you decide to create your own line of sex toys? In some ways, it seems like, “well, of course she did!” and it also seems a bit risky. As women in this industry, we understand that vibrators and women’s sexy time are still challenging for mainstream America to handle.

Kandi: I was invited on the Dr. Laura Berman show. She’s a medical doctor and she also has her own line of intimate products and I was like, wow, with my show, Kandi Koated Nights as a springboard, I can do the same thing. Then I found out about this woman in Europe that became a billionaire in the adult product industry and from that point on, it was a no brainer.

Babeland: How did your family and friends react when you decided to launch a line of vibrators?

Kandi: My family and friends are always very supportive of me in everything I do. When I did my research and decided to step into this endeavor, I really wanted to make sure my mother did not think I was making the wrong move. As long as she was fine with it, then I was comfortable doing it.

Babeland: We’re huge fans of the colors and shapes you’ve chosen. We’ve seen other lipstick vibes before, but Kandi Kisses has an unsurpassed weight, shape and quality. Why did you decide to go with the make-up design?

Kandi: The beauty of these pieces is that they’re not intimidating. They were designed to be very discreet. You can throw them in your purse and walk around with your own plaything and feel comfortable. They’re a combination of pleasure and style.

Babeland: What drew you to the unique powder-puff shape for the Make Me Over vibe? It’s a shape and design that is completely new.

Kandi: The whole idea was to create discreet packaging so that a woman can enjoy an orgasm on the go and so that if the product were mistakenly left on her dresser, no one would be alarmed! I decided to go with the make-up angle because it brought an elegant feel to the product line.

Babeland: Do you think that you’re part of destigmatizing vibrators for women? You have a high profile and many women look up to you. Have you found that launching this line is opening a new dialogue with your viewers and fans?

Kandi: I feel Bedroom Kandi will change the perception of how people view intimate products and open up the conversation, especially in the African American community. Sexual pleasure has such as huge stigma and it should not.

Babeland: What was the most fun part of designing a sex toy?

Kandi: Working on it has allowed for a healthy dialogue about sex.

Babeland: You’ve written Grammy award-winning music, so it’s no coincidence that one of your vibrators, the Happiness & Joy, vibrates to the beat and rhythm of music. What type of music sounds the best on Happiness & Joy? What’s your personal favorite song to play on this vibrator?

Kandi: Anything that you feel comfortable listening to in the bedroom works with this vibe! It does not have to be a specific type of song. It can be very passionate songs about love, dance songs to make things fun, or heavy bass club songs to give it that extra "edge" in certain encounters with your mate. I do not know if I have a personal favorite song, maybe I have a personal play list!

Babeland: Do you have advice for women who are new to vibrators on trying a Bedroom Kandi toy for the first time?

Kandi: Yes, it’s the best fun you can have by yourself. Try it; I’m confident you will like it!

Babeland: Do you have a favorite that you like to recommend?

Kandi: My favorite piece is the Happiness & Joy dual-action vibe. It brings you happiness on the inside and joy on the outside at the same time. idea was to create discreet packaging so that a woman can enjoy an orgasm on the go and so that if the product were mistakenly left on her dresser, no one would be alarmed! I decided to go with the make-up angle because it brought an elegant feel to the product line.

Babeland: Do you think that you’re part of destigmatizing vibrators for women? You have a high profile and many women look up to you. Have you found that launching this line is opening a new dialogue with your viewers and fans?

Kandi: I feel Bedroom Kandi will change the perception of how people view intimate products and open up the conversation, especially in the African American community. Sexual pleasure has such as huge stigma and it should not.

Babeland: What was the most fun part of designing a sex toy?

Kandi: Working on it has allowed for a healthy dialogue about sex.

Babeland: You’ve written Grammy award-winning music, so it’s no coincidence that one of your vibrators, the Happiness & Joy, vibrates to the beat and rhythm of music. What type of music sounds the best on Happiness & Joy? What’s your personal favorite song to play on this vibrator?

Kandi: Anything that you feel comfortable listening to in the bedroom works with this vibe! It does not have to be a specific type of song. It can be very passionate songs about love, dance songs to make things fun, or heavy bass club songs to give it that extra "edge" in certain encounters with your mate. I do not know if I have a personal favorite song, maybe I have a personal play list!

Babeland: Do you have advice for women who are new to vibrators on trying a Bedroom Kandi toy for the first time?

Kandi: Yes, it’s the best fun you can have by yourself. Try it; I’m confident you will like it!

Babeland: Do you have a favorite that you like to recommend?

Kandi: My favorite piece is the Happiness & Joy dual-action vibe. It brings you happiness on the inside and joy on the outside at the same time.

An Earth Day Interview: Annie Sprinkle Talks About Ecosex

Fri, 22 Apr 2011 14:22:53 GMT

Happy Earth Day, everyone! The perfect day to talk about ecosex with one of its pioneer, sex educator and performance artist Annie Sprinkle. Annie and her partner, environmental activist Beth Stephens, collaborate on the Love Art Lab, a art project born as (in Sprinkle's words) a "response to the violence of war, the anti-gay marriage movement and [a] prevailing culture of greed." As part of the project, they've married each other (and an earthly element) each year; they celebrate their 7th marriage this year. Annie discusses ecosexuality and her current projects with Babeland's new sexuality educator and blogger, Lila, and also shares with us her 25 Ways To Make Love to the Earth. Lila: So, tell us more about ecosexuality. How and when did it start? What does it mean to each of you? Annie: I first heard the term “ecosex” as a dating term a few years ago. It meant that a person was interested in meeting other folks into things like environmental cuases, vegetarianism, bicycle culture…But my partner, Beth Stephens, and I have usurped the term to give it much broader definititions. Such as a person into nature fetishes, a new sexual identity, a person that takes the earth as their lover, or finds nature really super sensual. We are making it into a whole new movement, currently writing an ecosex manifesto. In retrospect, I was very ecosexual as a kid. Ecosensual really. I was really pleasured by nature. Swimming, for example. Sitting by the campfire. I taught sacred sex for ten years and always sent the participants out into nature to “have sex with something in nature for a couple hours.” They would come back and tell us all about it and some women said “that was the best sex I ever had.” I told them to use their senses, kiss and lick a rock, sniff the dirt, make love with the sky, things like that. It was pretty sexy. So, I’ve been ecosexual for a long time. I just didn’t have a name for it. Of course, many ancient earth religions, fertility rites, and pagan rituals were pretty ecosexual. So while these are new concepts, they are also ancient. Lots of people, when the stop to think about it, have had an erotic or sensual experience with nature at some time in their lives. Lila: What kinds of practice and philosophies are ecosexual? Annie: Generally we think of the earth as a mother. But we are switching that up to think of earth as a lover: to try and create a more reciprocal relationship with our planet. The Earth has been used, abused, exploited, raped…the earth can’t continually breastfeed us. We have to give back and take care of the Earth. And what better way than to make love with it? Appreciate it more. Care for it, like we would care for our beloved. As for practices…nature fetishes we have figured out can be divided into several categories: earth, air, fire, water. Earth proclivities include things like tree hugging/humping, covering your body in sand, using vegetable dildos. Some Air proclivities include getting excited in strong winds, or sucking and blowing air in and out of your lover’s mouth. Some Fire proclivities would be nude sun bathing, or getting hot bee’s wax dripped all over your body. Water proclivities would be deriving erotic pleasure while standing under a beautiful waterfall, or enjoying the sensations of skinny-dipping in a tropical ocean. How many of you have laid down in the bathtub with your legs spread wide apart with the water splashing down on your vulva? Be honest. You can be hetero, gay, bisexual, trans, anything you want, and also be ecosexual. My friend Dallas, who is a self proclaimed asexual tells me she’s not ecosexual, but “ecoromantic!” So if you love laying naked in the sun, getting pounded by a waterfall, and like fucking in nature, you are probably ecosexual. It’s a self proclaimed thing. But maybe you are simply ecosensual, or ecoromantic. Lila: As I understand it, Love Art Lab is a collaboration between the two of you where you committed to do seven years of performative, activist weddings and surrounding events with different locations and themes. Can you tell us a bit more about that and how it relates to ecosexuality? My girlfriend Beth and I now consider ourselves out ecosexuals. We’re really hot about this topic. It all sort of started when we married the Earth as an art project. We had a huge wedding, with 400+ people, and 150 people helped create the wedding. And together we all vowed to love, honor and cherish the Earth until death brought us closer together forever. That day I fell madly in love with my beautiful planet, and just sort of started doing more recycling, being more aware of my water and electricity consumption, and my love just grew to Universal proportions. It was really exciting. So now, Beth and I have done eight ecosexual weddings, with environmental themes. In five countries. We have married the Sky, the Sea, the Snow, the Appalacian mountains, and the moon. Thousands of people have participated in our ecosex weddings. Sometimes they are controversial. But they're really beautiful and fun. We aim to make the environmental movement more sexy, fun and diverse. The documentaion of our weddings, with videos, is on our website. Lila: What have been some of the most memorable interactions with the public that you've had around your ecosexual art and activism? Annie: We have done about fifteen ecosex walking tours. They’re really fun. We take people around a park, or neighborhood, and point out the ecosexy sites. We invite people to hug trees, sniff and lick the earth, find their “e-spots” (spots in nature that are sexy) and share stories of the times they have found nature erotic. People really share great stuff. Then at the end of the tour, we invite them to take vows to the earth and we give them a diamond ring. But its made of cubic zarconia, so no mountains were harmed. And people really feel more connected to the Earth, and they always have a wonderful lover. Lila: Do you have any advice or tips for someone who lives in a city or otherwise has limited access to nature, but is still interested in dabbling in and exploring ecosexuality? Annie: I have lived in cities most all of my life. Being ecosexual in a city is easy. There are parks, there are trees, there is beautiful nature everywhere if you just take time to notice it. Stop and smell the roses. Eating fruit, for example, can be ecosexual if you let it be. Its about giving yourself permission to really get into it. To really make it sexy. For example, you can watch a sunset and barely see it. Or you can give yourself over to the sunset completely, marvel at its magnificence, become one with the sunset, and bring yourself to tears of ecstasy. Have a sungasm, if you will. It's up to you. How much pleasure are you willing to have? Just start noticing nature more. I remember, when I lived in Manhattan, on the 11^th floor of a high rise, I used to use my vibrator and look at the sky and sort of fantasise being with the sky. I became the sun, the moon, and all the stars. Once I said to myself, this is crazy, I’m making love with the sky. But it was so beautiful. So I sort of silently asked the sky, is this crazy? Show me a sign. And a red helium balloon went up into the cloud at that moment and passed through the cloud and I just wept. It was beautiful. If it's real or not, I don’t even care. Its all a big beautiful fantasy that makes me excited. Ecosex is very sexy. I have prided myself at being a sex pioneer for 38 years now. And let me tell you, Ecosex is going to be BIG. Lila: Babeland carries a lot of environmentally friendly sex toys and products, like rechargeable vibrators, dildos and butt plugs made from materials that will virtually last forever, vegan, organic lubes, and much more. We even have a solar powered bullet vibrator. Could these be considered ecosexual or used in an ecosexual manner? Annie: Absolutely! Babeland is doing some great environmentally conscious stuff that’s really sexy. Babeland is a hot bed of ecosexuality! I love what you are doing. Lila: Do you have any plans this Earth Day? Annie: For me and Beth, every day is Earth Day. Sky day. Sea day… Lila: Is there anything el se I'm missing or that you'd like to share? Annie: If you resonate with this idea, of ecosex, bring me (and Beth) to your country/state/city, and I will do my presentation, a walking tour and a show. We will have a great time. In celebration of Earth Day, we are creating an ecosex lexicon. Here are some words we have made up and gathered, just as some food for thought! If you think of any others, send me an email at annie@anniesprinkle.org Vegesexuals, ecovestite, biosexual, treebadism, snow balling, pollenamourous, ecoslut, seadomasochism, ecophile, compostgasm, treedonism, vegan-sexual, ecobondage, hortisexual, ecocurious, environmentally frisky! When you think about it, all sex is really ecosex. We are all part of nature, not really separate. We just feel separate often. But we are the earth. We are made of water. So when we make love to each other, we are making love to the Earth, to nature. So have fun! And don't have too many babies, because over population hard on the planet. Another possibility...instead of switching the metaphor from Earth as Mother to Earth as Lover, we could at least do Earth as MILF! In any case, ecosexuals come out come out for Earth Day! And Ecosexuals Unite! s, anything you want, and also be ecosexual. My friend Dallas, who is a self proclaimed asexual tells me she’s not ecosexual, but “ecoromantic!” So if you love laying naked in the sun, getting pounded by a waterfall, and like fucking in nature, you are probably ecosexual. It’s a self proclaimed thing. But maybe you are simply ecosensual, or ecoromantic. Lila: As I understand it, Love Art Lab is a collaboration between the two of you where you committed to do seven years of performative, activist weddings and surrounding events with different locations and themes. Can you tell us a bit more about that and how it relates to ecosexuality? My girlfriend Beth and I now consider ourselves out ecosexuals. We’re really hot about this topic. It all sort of started when we married the Earth as an art project. We had a huge wedding, with 400+ people, and 150 people helped create the wedding. And together we all vowed to love, honor and cherish the Earth until death brought us closer together forever. That day I fell madly in love with my beautiful planet, and just sort of started doing more recycling, being more aware of my water and electricity consumption, and my love just grew to Universal proportions. It was really exciting. So now, Beth and I have done eight ecosexual weddings, with environmental themes. In five countries. We have married the Sky, the Sea, the Snow, the Appalacian mountains, and the moon. Thousands of people have participated in our ecosex weddings. Sometimes they are controversial. But they're really beautiful and fun. We aim to make the environmental movement more sexy, fun and diverse. The documentaion of our weddings, with videos, is on our website. Lila: What have been some of the most memorable interactions with the public that you've had around your ecosexual art and activism? Annie: We have done about fifteen ecosex walking tours. They’re really fun. We take people around a park, or neighborhood, and point out the ecosexy sites. We invite people to hug trees, sniff and lick the earth, find their “e-spots” (spots in nature that are sexy) and share stories of the times they have found nature erotic. People really share great stuff. Then at the end of the tour, we invite them to take vows to the earth and we give them a diamond ring. But its made of cubic zarconia, so no mountains were harmed. And people really feel more connected to the Earth, and they always have a wonderful lover. Lila: Do you have any advice or tips for someone who lives in a city or otherwise has limited access to nature, but is still interested in dabbling in and exploring ecosexuality? Annie: I have lived in cities most all of my life. Being ecosexual in a city is easy. There are parks, there are trees, there is beautiful nature everywhere if you just take time to notice it. Stop and smell the roses. Eating fruit, for example, can be ecosexual if you let it be. Its about giving yourself permission to really get into it. To really make it sexy. For example, you can watch a sunset and barely see it. Or you can give yourself over to the sunset completely, marvel at its magnificence, become one with the sunset, and bring yourself to tears of ecstasy. Have a sungasm, if you will. It's up to you. How much pleasure are you willing to have? Just start noticing nature more. I remember, when I lived in Manhattan, on the 11^th floor of a high rise, I used to use my vibrator and look at the sky and sort of fantasise being with the sky. I became the sun, the moon, and all the stars. Once I said to myself, this is crazy, I’m making love with the sky. But it was so beautiful. So I sort of silently asked the sky, is this crazy? Show me a sign. And a red helium balloon went up into the cloud at that moment and passed through the cloud and I just wept. It was beautiful. If it's real or not, I don’t even care. Its all a big beautiful fantasy that makes me excited. Ecosex is very sexy. I have prided myself at being a sex pioneer for 38 years now. And let me tell you, Ecosex is going to be BIG. Lila: Babeland carries a lot of environmentally friendly sex toys and products, like rechargeable vibrators, dildos and butt plugs made from materials that will virtually last forever, vegan, organic lubes, and much more. We even have a solar powered bullet vibrator. Could these be considered ecosexual or used in an ecosexual manner? Annie: Absolutely! Babeland is doing some great environmentally conscious stuff that’s really sexy. Babeland is a hot bed of ecosexuality! I love what you are doing. Lila: Do you have any plans this Earth Day? Annie: For me and Beth, every day is Earth Day. Sky day. Sea day… Lila: Is there anything el se I'm missing or that you'd like to share? Annie: If you resonate with this idea, of ecosex, bring me (and Beth) to your country/state/city, and I will do my presentation, a walking tour and a show. We will have a great time. In celebration of Earth Day, we are creating an ecosex lexicon. Here are some words we have made up and gathered, just as some food for thought! If you think of any others, send me an email at annie@anniesprinkle.org Vegesexuals, ecovestite, biosexual, treebadism, snow balling, pollenamourous, ecoslut, seadomasochism, ecophile, compostgasm, treedonism, vegan-sexual, ecobondage, hortisexual, ecocurious, environmentally frisky! When you think about it, all sex is really ecosex. We are all part of nature, not really separate. We just feel separate often. But we are the earth. We are made of water. So when we make love to each other, we are making love to the Earth, to nature. So have fun! And don't have too many babies, because over population hard on the planet. Another possibility...instead of switching the metaphor from Earth as Mother to Earth as Lover, we could at least do Earth as MILF! In any case, ecosexuals come out come out for Earth Day! And Ecosexuals Unite!

Behind the scenes at Babeland: an interview with Kristie, Sex Educator/Donations Coordinator extraordinaire

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 10:43:27 GMT

It's time for another peek behind the velvet curtain at Babeland! Every month, we take a look at one of our Staff Pick-ers, and show you a little bit about who they are, how they got here, what it's like for them to work here, and more. This month, we've got Kristie on deck! Kristie's one of our hard-working, wonderful, and always-stylish staff at our Seattle store. She's a perfect example of how people come to work at Babeland from wildly varied backgrounds, but stick around because of the wonderful environment they find here. Read on to find out more about Kristie's Babeland story... Abby: Tell us the story of how you started at Babeland. What brought you here? Kristie: I've had a pretty eclectic employment history. I did a lot of retail through school, then worked in theater doing costumes and dressing. Just before Babeland, I had been working a stuffy corporate job in marketing for a cruise line, and I quit to focus on a handmade undies business I had at the time. I was actually out celebrating leaving that job and ran into a friend who worked at Babeland, and he told me they were hiring for part time. Initially, I just thought I would work here for a short while, but I found such an amazing community here, and so much joy from what we do every day, that nearly four years have now flown by. Abby: So now that you're here, what do you do at Babeland? Kristie: I'm a sex educator/sales associate, so most of my shifts are spent on the sales floor, helping our awesome customers. Also, I'm the Donations Coordinator for Seattle, so I put together goodie bags and raffle prizes for lots of great fundraisers. I'm a giver. Recently, I filled in for our Marketing/Education Coordinator while she was on maternity leave, so I got to plan workshops and events and tweet a lot. Abby: Speaking of maternity, what was your own family's reaction when you told them you work at Babeland? Kristie: My mom was funny. She was okay with it once I explained the mission and everything. I've tried to get her to come into the store, but she keeps saying, "Oh, there's nothing in there for me." I'm like, "I bet there is..." but it doesn't work. Abby: Tell us about your favorite/most touching/most life-changing moment with a customer or coworker. Kristie: There are so many! Recently, there was this couple who came to one of the free Babeland Brunches, and afterwards signed up for five more classes. They were so cool. The lady told me that they had both previously been with partners who were pretty sex-negative, and then they found each other and realized they just wanted to learn and try everything they could together. It was so inspiring to see two people so excited about sex education! Abby: What's something you've learned about yourself through your work at Babeland? Kristie: I learned that I really like teaching. I was a painfully shy child, and even in college, giving presentations to the class freaked me out. But here, I've found that I really enjoy being in front of a crowd, sharing information and coming up with funny analogies like, "The vagina is a cul-de-sac but the anus is a superhighway, so you need a flared base on your anal toy." Abby: Very true. And what's something you've learned about sex through your work at Babeland? Kristie: I've learned a lot about male-bodied folks. Being a gold-star lesbian, I didn't have much knowledge previously about cock rings, prostates, and masturbation sleeves. Abby: Finally, what's your favorite word for your favorite sexy body parts? Kristie: Lately, I keep using "lady bits." by: Finally, what's your favorite word for your favorite sexy body parts? Kristie: Lately, I keep using "lady bits."

An Interview with The Redwood Plan

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 10:11:06 GMT

Babeland is sponsoring Seattle band The Redwood Plan at SXSW this year--you can catch their li ve performance on Friday, March 18 at Noon. We had the chance to catch up with the lead singer, Lesli Wood, and the drummer, Betty ST, in between busy recording and touring schedules. Here's what they had to say about the band's music, their inspirations and what they're looking forward to at SXSW this year: Shannon: How did you all start playing music together? Lesli: Betty and I started playing together casually a few years ago. I was still in Ms. Led at the time and I had a couple of song ideas that didn't quite fit with Ms. Led's style. The songs were dancier and not as political and I thought it would be fun to see what Betty and I would do working on them together. The songs had potential, so we decided to bring some other friends in and of course, Syd and Larry perfected the lineup. Really, it was just a bunch of friends getting together playing music we enjoy. Betty: Lesli and I applied our success in hanging out together drinking whiskey, to hanging out together, drinking whiskey and playing instruments. It grew from there, with Syd and Larry, into an incredible chemistry. I feel very lucky to play music with these three people. Shannon: What tends to be your muse for music? Lesli: For me, the lyrics/energy of the songs tend to come from a place of inspiration and motivation to live the shit out of every second of every day. Whether it's in my relationships, my career, my outlook on life, I want the best in everything and I never want to settle for anything less. I sing as hard as I can, live, work, and play as hard as I can and I don't believe in putting obstacles up for myself. Betty: Connection. And personally, a ridiculous amount of idealism and romanticism. Shannon: Why the Red and Black color scheme? Lesli: It matches my hair! Shannon: What are you most looking forward to at SXSW this year? Lesli: We're so honored to be representing Seattle at SXSW especially amongst such amazing bands as The Young Evils and Campfire OK. I love the energy at SXSW and it's always a lovefest seeing your friends there. And to actually share a stage with all these great Seattle bands will definitely be a blast. Betty: I'm looking forward to margaritas on a patio with most of my favorite people. Shannon: Are there any bands you are really excited see/ share the stage with this year? Betty: I didn't get to see You Say Party! when they came through Seattle last year. I'm not going to let that happen this year! Here's a clip with more details about SXSW, the upcoming album and the band's plans for touring in the next year: httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8oTiRAQaoo

Sex Positive Talk with Dodson and Ross

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 14:08:33 GMT

A few weeks ago, I had the extreme pleasure of doing a podcast and interview with a sex ed dream team: trail-blazing octogenarian Betty Dodson and her business partner, Carlin Ross. I was first introduced to Betty as a 1st year graduate student, when we watched her Self Loving group video; I've been in awe of her radical sex ed techniques ever since. As online educators and bloggers, we decided to do a discussion (my first in podcast form, and boy, was this whole thing new to me!) on sex education on the web: the topics we like talking about in our respective blogging and where people can find comprehensive sexuality education online (besides Babeland and DodsonandRoss.com, of course!). The great thing about three women sitting in a room together and talking about sex is the vast differences between how they experience their sexuality and express it to others. It's really inspiring to have such a conversation with amazing experts and learn so much in the process! Thank you to Betty and Carlin! Here is my interview with them: Sarah: Carlin, with your social media skills and online savvy, and Betty, with your incredible background in sex education and unabashed honesty, make a wonderful time. How did you come to work together? Carlin: I interviewed Betty three years ago and less than half way through the interview she looked me dead in the eye, reached her hand across the table, and said, "We're going into business together. Shake on it." I didn't hesitate for a moment, grabbed her hand, and "shook on it." I knew we would would work because that's exactly how I would have handled it. Then throw in my commitment to feminist ideals and we were are a perfect match. Sarah: What are your top three types of questions you receive to the site? Carlin: 1. Am I normal, 2. Did I have an orgasm, and 3. How do I orgasm during sex. First, it's about body image and genital shame then it's about not knowing how to stimulate their bodies or recognize an orgasm. Sarah: What issues in sexuality are you currently excited about about? Carlin: Returning the clitoris to its proper place in terms of female orgasm, so that young women will stop thinking they have to ejaculate to be orgasmic. This has become a big issue. And we know that ejaculation doesn't equal orgasm necessarily. We favor the combination orgasm: clitoral and vaginal stimulation. Sarah: Give an example of a moment when a question you received gave you pause and made you really think about how you would answer. Carlin: The women who wrote in to tell me about new research that there's no such thing as a continuous membrane, i.e. the hymen, that can be broken in one fail swoop by a penis. The information was amazing, see here: "The Hymen Myth." Sarah: What are your plans for the future? Carlin: We're going to shoot an updated version of Self Loving, where we'll film another bodysex group with our bloggers. And we have an iPhone app on the way. Sarah: If you had to give a short, overall goal for your work, what would it be? Carlin: Female sexual liberation. Viva La Vulva! Sarah: What sexuality educators excite you? Who turns you on with their brains? Carlin: We're partial to Heather Corrina at Scarleteen.for your work, what would it be? Carlin: Female sexual liberation. Viva La Vulva! Sarah: What sexuality educators excite you? Who turns you on with their brains? Carlin: We're partial to Heather Corrina at Scarleteen.

Brand of the Month: Cal Exotics! An Interview with Susan Colvin, President

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 10:06:03 GMT

This month, we're highlighting one of our favorite sex toy makers: Cal Exotics. From the affordable and adorable (like the Butterfly Kiss, who's become a major bestseller on Babeland.com) to the sleek and multi-function (Jopen Vanity series), Cal Exotics has long been bringing us a great variety of toys. And all month long, we'll be highlighting Cal Exotics toys with sales, deals, and specials -- be sure to keep checking back for the latest! With that in mind, we ask Cal Exotics President Susan Colvin a few questions about where they've been, how they got here, and where they're going next (hopefully with a little input from you, their satisfied customers). Read on! Babeland: Tell our customers a little bit about how Cal Ex began. Susan: In the early 1990’s, I was working as the General Manager of a full-service adult products distributor that sold magazines, books, videos, and a handful of adult novelty items imported from the Far East. When the owners of that company decided to close after a long and very expensive legal battle with the US Federal Government, I saw a future for myself and a handful of loyal employees in the novelty business. I worked out a deal with the owners to purchase the existing "Swedish Erotica" branded line of toys, and California Exotic Novelties was born. There were about 200 products in the "Swedish Erotica" line that we took over, almost all of which were packaged for a male audience. Babeland: How did you get here from "Swedish Erotica," and what's the biggest difference between Cal Ex then and Cal Ex now? Susan: Our product line is 180º from where we started. While we make plenty of products for men, our primary focus is to create products that a woman finds pleasing to the eye, touch, and function. When we first started making vibrators in bright colors, plenty of our distributors (and our competition) thought we were out of our minds. But we knew it was only a matter of time before women would find their own path to pleasure, so we persisted. We have a great creative staff in product development, package design, and manufacturing. It has definitely paid off, not just for California Exotic Novelties, but for women around the world. Babeland: How many slimline vibes did you produce when you first started? And how many varieties do you now produce? Susan: We sold two types ("Rainbow Slimline" and "Rainbow Super-Slim"), with ten colors each. Our selection today includes hundreds of slimline designs, shapes, colors, textures, and finishes. And we're careful to provide as large a size selection as possible, from super-slim to extra-girthy. The first slimline series of vibrators that we sold was called "Raquel," and featured a photo of a naked girl on the front AND back of the packaging. Looking back, I see the influence of the male-dominated buying public. We were able to convince distributors and retailers to start stocking multiple colors, but the industry wasn’t ready for more sophisticated packaging. Babeland: How have your female customers affected your toy development over time? Susan: Our female customers' needs have evolved as technology has changed. In the early days, for example, we tried selling rechargeable vibrators, but learned that they didn't sell at the retail level. We saw great potential, but the consumer wasn't ready for it. We ended up discontinuing the items at a huge loss; it took years for those products to find their audience. We also introduced several other features that are now taken for granted in sex toys: waterproof, remote control, phthalate-free, and multi-function. Also, the internet has proven to be a great educator regarding pleasure products, their uses, and features. Women can now easily access any number of sites that educate and explain the various products that we manufacture. Our complete line includes over 3000 items, so it's a daunting task to explain the differences without that resource. Also, we spend months on the road visiting not just our distributors, but also retailers, home party businesses, and E-tailers. The feedback that we receive is invaluable, and we honestly try to incorporate these comments into our products. Babeland: What’s one of the most popular toys you make for women? And why do you think women love it so much? Susan: Recently, the Butterfly Kiss arouser has pushed the popular Jack Rabbit model off its pedestal. The Butterfly Kiss is designed for simultaneous G-spot and clitoral arousal, in an easy-to-hold and maneuverable shape. This item has quietly climbed to the #1 position on our bestsellers list. I think women like the idea of a dual-purpose arouser without a lot of moving parts; it's easy to use, and its function is easily understood. Babeland: When you look around the sex toy market, is there another company’s toy that you wish you’d invented? Susan: Not for one second! Our success is about our own creativity, never about what someone else has done. We find it creates negative energy to waste time trying to emulate rather than innovate. Sure, new companies have sprung up, and existing companies have come up with new and exciting products… those creations define who they are. California Exotic Novelties is all about well-built, easily available products across all price points; we're driven creatively by the in-house abilities of the great people at our company. Babeland: Where do you see your sex toy designs moving in the future? What are some trends you’re noticing? Susan: We've essentially seen an entire industry emerge over the 17 years we've been in business, from small mom-and-pop adult stores to the more glamorous large retailers popping up all over the world. Add to that the very refined specialty shops with loyal followings, like Babeland, and it's clear that the buying demographic has changed completely over the years. The power of the internet, with all the resources available, has made our users more product- and technology-savvy than ever (and hip to materials, functions, and what a product will do for them). Our trending points to more high-tech products at the top-end price range of products, but our well-priced products are the mainstay of our high-volume business. Babeland: If you could ask our customers one question, what would it be? Susan: What’s your favorite toy, and what changes would you like made to it? Our best ideas come from you! We're grateful for all of the support we've received since we opened our doors, and we look forward to many more years in a business that we love. The business of pleasure: what could be more exciting than that? iple colors, but the industry wasn’t ready for more sophisticated packaging. Babeland: How have your female customers affected your toy development over time? Susan: Our female customers' needs have evolved as technology has changed. In the early days, for example, we tried selling rechargeable vibrators, but learned that they didn't sell at the retail level. We saw great potential, but the consumer wasn't ready for it. We ended up discontinuing the items at a huge loss; it took years for those products to find their audience. We also introduced several other features that are now taken for granted in sex toys: waterproof, remote control, phthalate-free, and multi-function. Also, the internet has proven to be a great educator regarding pleasure products, their uses, and features. Women can now easily access any number of sites that educate and explain the various products that we manufacture. Our complete line includes over 3000 items, so it's a daunting task to explain the differences without that resource. Also, we spend months on the road visiting not just our distributors, but also retailers, home party businesses, and E-tailers. The feedback that we receive is invaluable, and we honestly try to incorporate these comments into our products. Babeland: What’s one of the most popular toys you make for women? And why do you think women love it so much? Susan: Recently, the Butterfly Kiss arouser has pushed the popular Jack Rabbit model off its pedestal. The Butterfly Kiss is designed for simultaneous G-spot and clitoral arousal, in an easy-to-hold and maneuverable shape. This item has quietly climbed to the #1 position on our bestsellers list. I think women like the idea of a dual-purpose arouser without a lot of moving parts; it's easy to use, and its function is easily understood. Babeland: When you look around the sex toy market, is there another company’s toy that you wish you’d invented? Susan: Not for one second! Our success is about our own creativity, never about what someone else has done. We find it creates negative energy to waste time trying to emulate rather than innovate. Sure, new companies have sprung up, and existing companies have come up with new and exciting products… those creations define who they are. California Exotic Novelties is all about well-built, easily available products across all price points; we're driven creatively by the in-house abilities of the great people at our company. Babeland: Where do you see your sex toy designs moving in the future? What are some trends you’re noticing? Susan: We've essentially seen an entire industry emerge over the 17 years we've been in business, from small mom-and-pop adult stores to the more glamorous large retailers popping up all over the world. Add to that the very refined specialty shops with loyal followings, like Babeland, and it's clear that the buying demographic has changed completely over the years. The power of the internet, with all the resources available, has made our users more product- and technology-savvy than ever (and hip to materials, functions, and what a product will do for them). Our trending points to more high-tech products at the top-end price range of products, but our well-priced products are the mainstay of our high-volume business. Babeland: If you could ask our customers one question, what would it be? Susan: What’s your favorite toy, and what changes would you like made to it? Our best ideas come from you! We're grateful for all of the support we've received since we opened our doors, and we look forward to many more years in a business that we love. The business of pleasure: what could be more exciting than that?

Truly SALACIOUS: An Interview with KD Diamond, Editor of SALACIOUS Magazine

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 09:00:48 GMT

When I was young and had just begun to discover my sexuality, I had a partner who subscribed to the magazine On Our Backs, a women-run erotica magazine whose tongue-in-cheek title was a wry response to the publication off out backs, which regularly printed the work of anti-pornography feminists of the 1980s. At the time, the images in On Our Backs were the most raw, unabashedly honest snapshots I had ever seen of alternative sexualities. For my own part, On Our Backs succeeded in not only mirroring my own sexual desires, but also producing a few new fantasies in the process. By the time the magazine was bought out in 2006, it had under its grommet belt a number of now legendary contributors, including Susie Bright, Pat Califia and Tristan Taormino. I mourned the loss of such a radically exciting (and indescribably sexy) publication. Mourned, that is, until SALACIOUS Magazine launched its first issue. In between its shiny pages, I found new beginnings for a queer erotic dreamscape: personal comics addressing sexual journeys and self-exploration, sexy photos of scandalously hot people playing house or just playing around, burly leatherdaddies in full gear, daintily blowing out sweet little hearts onto the surrounding ground. In short, a erotic cornucopia of kinked, complex and counterculture images. Just the sort of thing to get the mind whirling and the juices flowing. Upon finishing the first issue, I sought out editor and comic artist KD Diamond, to hear more about the inspiration behind the magazine, as well as its plans for the future. After all, if I've found a new magazine of alt sexuality to leer at, I want to make sure it will be around for a while! Here's what KD had to say: Sarah: Tell us a bit about the driving forces behind the magazine. Who is SALACIOUS? KD: SALACIOUS Magazine is a hearty ship with 10 individual, diverse board members, steered by me as their captain. You can meet everyone here at our editorial page. I'm the founder and art director, but I really rely on my board to keep the project strong. Speaking for myself, I'm a nerdy art-kid who's also a sex geek. With these powers combined, I create sex comics. Sarah: What was your inspiration for the magazine? KD: I've always been a huge believer that comics are the best tool to talk about gender and sexuality. There are so many great serial comics, comic books, and illustrated stories about queerness and sex and gender - it's hard to say which one specifically influenced and inspired me. I knew I wanted to create something that combined feminism, queerness, sex, and comics. Sarah: Who personally inspires you as an artist? Who do you read and look at?

KD: Well, Tom of Finland, I love his work - it's iconographic by this point. But his painterly style, and hyper-sexual imagery is just wonderful to me. Also, Ellen Forney, her illustration work is so gorgeous, and she does a great job telling stories. One of my favorite books on my shelf is "Lust," the illustrated personal ads from The Stranger she did. And Alison Bechdel. As a queer woman, and as a comic artist, it's hard not to feel Alison Bechdel has really influenced my drawing style and story-telling.

To list off some more, Roberta Gregory; Phoebe Gloeckner; Lynda Barry...not necessarily queer or sexy imagery, but women drawing comics. Great stuff. Lynda Barry's "One Hundred Demons" is just incredible, and Phoebe Gloeckner's "Diary of a Teenage Girl" is dark, intense and wonderfully drawn.

Additionally, there are an incredible amount of web comics that are telling awesome stories, queer and sexy stories, or just fun. Some NSFW ones are: Oglaf.com and MoonoverJune.com.

Sarah: What are your goals in presenting the queer community in a manner that is sexually charged as well as visual? Do you think this has the potential to socially normalize queer sexuality? KD: It's all about blowing the lid off the mystery of sex (no pun intended, really!). I think there's this mainstream concept about what queer sex looks like and the truth of the matter is, it's totally unquantifiable. Sexually charged visuals are as old as the sun. I'm using this tried and true method as a ways of making sexuality accessible. Knocking it off its awkward pedestal, down to something grittier and much more real, if you will. Sarah: What are your hopes for future issues? KD: It's been great to test this opening issue on the world. I think for future issues, folks can expect more illustration, and an even broader spectrum of gender and race. Sarah: What have you been discovering about the queer community, as you travel around for the launch parties? KD: We are so very segregated! Still! I love cross-pollination, and part of the reason I use "queer" to describe my politics and my sexuality is that joyous combination of a little bit of everything. There's no script or boxes for the word "queer" - for any LGBTQIA-XYZ word, really. Part of what makes SALACIOUS a powerful project is our intentional and purposeful approach to queerness and sex. There is no one way to define us. I hope that the more air-time the mag gets, the more we'll all come together. Queers are incredible in the ways that we collaborate - I want more of that. Sarah: And also, would you mind describing some of the SALACIOUS parties - I'm very interested!

KD: The parties totally vary depending on who is organizing them! Something to know about me is that while I'm an artist, I also come from a non-profit community organizer background... I really don't believe in parachuting into someone's community and telling them how to do things. So, what has made the parties so wonderful, successful, and diverse, is that they each have their own local flavor! SALACIOUS co-sponsors, supplies magazines and art, and then the party will look different however that particular community wants it. In Brooklyn, it was a sexy awesome dance party called Queerspondance co-sponsored by BrooklynTheBorough.com. In Portland, Oregon, it was a drag and burlesque and spoken word night run by the local feminist bookstore, In Other Words. In Oakland, it was a live demonstration/workshop called IRON SLUT: Sex Educator Showdown featuring Reid Mihalko and Madison Young, co-sponsored by Femina Potens. They vary immensely, and they're all pretty rad! (Find more about the Launch parties here).

To find out more about SALACIOUS Magazine or to obtain an issue, visit their website.

Media/uploads/2011/02/tf02-190x300.jpg" alt="" width="152" height="240">KD: Well, Tom of Finland, I love his work - it's iconographic by this point. But his painterly style, and hyper-sexual imagery is just wonderful to me. Also, Ellen Forney, her illustration work is so gorgeous, and she does a great job telling stories. One of my favorite books on my shelf is "Lust," the illustrated personal ads from The Stranger she did. And Alison Bechdel. As a queer woman, and as a comic artist, it's hard not to feel Alison Bechdel has really influenced my drawing style and story-telling.

Additionally, there are an incredible amount of web comics that are telling awesome stories, queer and sexy stories, or just fun. Some NSFW ones are: Oglaf.com and MoonoverJune.com.

To find out more about SALACIOUS Magazine or to obtain an issue, visit their website.

Babe of the Month: Dr. Ruthie

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 01:00:13 GMT

I am proud to announce that Dr. Ruthie, one of our favorite affiliate bloggers and avid online reviewer of Babeland's toys, is our first Babe of the Month for 2011! Dr. Ruthie took the time to sit down with me and do a little sex shop talk about pleasure, relationships and a mutual favorite topic - LUBE! Here's what Dr. Ruthie had to say: Greta: We are really happy to have you reviewing toys for Babeland – what’s on your sex toy wish list? Dr. Ruthie: Thank you so much! It’s wonderful to be aligned with a company that shares my passion for sex-positive, pleasure-positive intimacy and information for all. And since I began reviewing for Babeland, my sex toy collection has grown in such delightful ways! Lately, I’ve had my eye on a couple of toy lines that are releasing some very posh, creative items. FunFactory’s Cobra Libre for men looks very fun, as does Lelo’s new line of sensual bondage items. Although they’re not as new to the market, I’ve also been batting my eyelashes at those smooth, shiny metal toys by NJoy and the flowing designs of the lovely wooden Fling from NobEssence. Greta: Tell us about what inspired you to peruse a career in relationship coaching and sex-ed? Dr. Ruthie: Being a sexuality educator and coach is a challenging and unusual career choice, so that’s a really good question. It takes a certain type of background and set of life experiences to be comfortable with sexual well-being in a global way, and at the same time have the skills and training in relational issues to turn that into a career like mine. We are all surrounded by a sex-negative culture, both in the messages we receive each day and in the stark silence around topics essential to our sensual and intimate growth. Personally and professionally, I strive to personify my dedication to living a life of contagious pleasure and intimacy. I began training as a family therapist (and I am proud to teach student-therapists today) with a specialization in survivors of intimate partner violence. An understanding and respect for healthy, happy sexual intimacy for all genders is essential within that line of work, whether I’m focused on prevention, intervention or recovery. It didn’t take me long to realize that there is a glaring need for highly trained and skilled experts on intimacy and sexual well-being, both for one-on-one work as well as macro systemic change. So, I started pursuing advanced training anywhere I could find it. At the same time, I was seeing more and more clients who were seeking the type of professional that I was becoming. This led me to some fantastic and unique opportunities, including an original sex-positive workshop series for women living in shelters and women’s classes in the deep South. But I couldn’t let it stop there, so I began offering my services nationally through conference presentations, virtual office appointments, online and live workshops, and my blog! After moving to Washington, DC, I connected with the vibrant sex-positive community here and the opportunities continue to develop. Greta: What are your specializations? Dr. Ruthie: Inspiring my clients and workshop attendees to have a little fun when they get home! I hear that’s true, but that’s probably not the answer you were looking for. Over the years, I’ve expanded from survivors of damaging romantic relationships to those who seek to reclaim their sexuality after any form of sexual or family violence. It’s essential to my approach that we focus on solving problems by creating balance, finding ways to safely explore ourselves and relationships, and emphasizing our tremendous strengths. In other words, moving toward a better future can help address past wounds. From there, it was a natural transition to begin training for work with those who are reclaiming (or now discovering) their sexuality after an illness, injury or other bodily change. However, I’m proud to speak with people with a host of goals, including simply prioritizing their relationships with partners or themselves! No matter what, you can be sure I’m going to bring up the topic of sex toys and high quality lube. After all, I am a self-confessed lube snob! Greta: You are based in the DC area, but can you tell us a little bit about your virtual workshops and coaching? Dr. Ruthie: Technology can be so exciting when it allows us to more easily connect with each other! As I mentioned earlier, I’m a graduate faculty member in a program that trains relational therapists. What I didn’t note was that I actually teach online, through a webcam! When I made the switch from traditional teaching to online I was surprised by the close connections that can be made that way. Of course, some other countries are already comfortable with online meetings for everything from business matters to non-urgent medical appointments. So, I should have expected it, but I was used to the traditional office and classroom setting so it was a new experience for me. I began to wonder if it could work as well for workshops and coaching sessions. And lo and behold, it was a natural fit! For many people, it’s much more comfortable to be in your own room, yet still able to see each other and speak naturally. Others enjoy not having to worry about a commute, the lack of professionals in their area, or even childcare. Certainly there are folks who will always prefer the traditional office setting, but this has been a great way to expand to new areas and offer much-needed services and community anywhere with a phone or an internet connection! Greta: Who are your favorite clients or workshop participants? Dr. Ruthie: Working in this area, I meet so many great people. To make it even better, we’re all there to build something inspiring and uplifting together. I tend to think of two main groups when I think of my clients. First we have the thrill-seekers, who are looking for more explicit information and wild ideas but still appreciate a focus on well-being and relational quality. The other group is the outwardly conservative yet inwardly daring. These are the folks that appreciate new techniques and ideas, but absolutely require a balanced, appreciative and caring approach. I have to say that I love both groups and need them each for balance, but the latter group has a special place in my heart. For me, sex is about so many things: play, body language, intimacy, exploration, connection, celebration, reclaiming, communication, and all sorts of pleasure. The boldest new sex technique from Hollywood can be very exciting, but without those richer underpinnings, it would do about as much good as those cheesy tips that sell glossy magazines. Greta: What inspired you to start reviewing toys on your blog? Dr. Ruthie: Toys are just so darned fun! There is no need to stop playing, exploring and imagining just because we’re grown up now. Anything that encourages you to discover and communicate with a smile on your face and a wiggle in your toes is worthwhile. Plus, many of these products give us tools for finding or sharing our orgasms, especially if we’ve struggled with that in the past or are adjusting to changes in our bodies or lives. If I hold up an anatomical line drawing and start pointing and talking, I’m suddenly that boring sex ed teacher from high school. However, when I have a vibrator in my hand and an attractive velvet and satin vulva-model, eyebrows raise and ears open. Now it’s applied, now the information makes sense and is clearly useful. Plus, I’m a big advocate for the value of pleasure, whether you’re single or in a relationship. And what promotes pressure-free, happy, healthy, readily available pleasure for people of all genders like a sex toy and some good lube? I swear, I have found my perfect job. Greta: Are there any toys you’re really excited about? Dr. Ruthie: Yes! I’m absolutely in love with the Tenga line (especially the Tenga Flip) for the special penis in your life, the G-Ki for its ability to hit the g-spot like a pro, Babelicious flavored lubes, and the Babeland massage candles.The Flip is so easy to clean, simple to lubricate, and by every report, it feels amazing. I’m so glad that it has come to the market! As for the G-Ki, I’ve met many women who were able to find and make the most of their G-Spots with this beauty. In fact, I know of several women who discovered that they could squirt thanks to the G-Ki. The Babelicious flavored lubes make me so happy because they not only smell and taste great, but they actually are healthy and high quality lubes. Most of the flavored lubes on the market are loaded with cheap glycerine, sugar and even honey, none of which belong in a vulva. Not Babelicious! Plus, the flavors are very creative. And who doesn’t love a good massage candle? Warm wax poured over waiting skin, a sensual massage, and an arousing scent filling the room - sounds like the perfect combination to me. Greta: We love your video reviews – what prompted you to start reviewing in that format? What has been you most challenging video review? Dr. Ruthie: Thank you so much! They’ve been a lot of fun. I began doing video reviews because I wanted those with mobility or other special concerns to be able to really see and hear the product for themselves. While people who live near a good sex boutique can go and see the products on display, most of us aren’t that lucky. I quickly discovered that this was also an easier way to encourage sex-positive dialogue and information, too. People often forward my videos to each other, or drop me an email with their thoughts. Either way, it’s become a fun way to advocate for pleasure, accessibility, and pleasure all at the same time! Plus, folks get a better of idea of who I am and what I’m like, too. Greta: What new discovery/information/sex tip have you discovered recently and are excited to share with our Babeland Blog readers? Dr. Ruthie: I’m a proud lube snob. While sexual health professionals have been touting the value of good lubes for some time, this is still new information to many people. A good, slick, glycerine and paraben-free lube is so important to have in your bag and on your bedside table. Your body deserves far better than the junk that passes for lube at drug and department stores! While there is a lot of talk about performance anxiety for men (or anyone with a penis) who are the giving side of penetration, all genders on the receiving side can experience the same anxiety! Privacy, comfort, communication, and the ready availability of good lube can go along way to ease that. It can also make exploration of all of those other kinds of sex (the kinds that don’t require thrusty penises) so much more fun, leisurely, and pleasurable. I keep bottles of several kinds at home for various purposes and times of the month, plus some sample packets in my purse! Whether or not you end up needing it, it’s something you always want to have handy. Greta: Can you give us a hint about the next project you're planning? Dr. Ruthie: Just a little one! I'm putting together a very special series of online workshops and coaching for women who are interested in becoming more orgasmic with themselves and possibly with partners. This will be a limited group that meets online regularly, so that we can grow as a supportive community of sex-positive women exploring together. I expect to begin adding participants a little later this year, so we can start the new year on an inspired and exciting note! While I am not yet advertising this group, if anyone is interested in learning more they are encouraged to contact me as I expect it to fill very quickly. Greta: What do you enjoy most about bringing sex-positive information to people? Dr. Ruthie: Oh my goodness, that is a big question! I firmly and unconditionally believe that every one of us deserves an intimate, caring, healthy and pleasurable relationship with our bodies and with our partners, no matter what has happened in our lives. That’s why I do this. Our sexuality is the most intimate form of body language that we have with each other and with ourselves, and many of us need a little help with improving (or reestablishing) those lines of communication. When I meet someone who has seen my videos, been to a workshop, or is working with me one-on-one, and they have that sparkle in their eyes while they whisper, “Remember what we talked about? It worked!” there are just no words to describe how I feel. Whether it opened an important conversation, led to an orgasm, or inspired self-discovery and joy, it’s a perfect moment. I know that I’m bringing something rare and important to others as well as myself and I feel energized to continue working in the vein of sex-positive community building and advocacy. Greta: Where can readers find you online? Dr. Ruthie: My blog and professional site are located at www.ExploringIntimacy.com, and my YouTube Channel is http://www.youtube.com/user/ExploringIntimacy. I'm also on Twitter and on Facebook. Better yet, send me an email at ExploringIntimacy@gmail.com or give me a ring at (301) 979-9910!ver the years, I’ve expanded from survivors of damaging romantic relationships to those who seek to reclaim their sexuality after any form of sexual or family violence. It’s essential to my approach that we focus on solving problems by creating balance, finding ways to safely explore ourselves and relationships, and emphasizing our tremendous strengths. In other words, moving toward a better future can help address past wounds. From there, it was a natural transition to begin training for work with those who are reclaiming (or now discovering) their sexuality after an illness, injury or other bodily change. However, I’m proud to speak with people with a host of goals, including simply prioritizing their relationships with partners or themselves! No matter what, you can be sure I’m going to bring up the topic of sex toys and high quality lube. After all, I am a self-confessed lube snob! Greta: You are based in the DC area, but can you tell us a little bit about your virtual workshops and coaching? Dr. Ruthie: Technology can be so exciting when it allows us to more easily connect with each other! As I mentioned earlier, I’m a graduate faculty member in a program that trains relational therapists. What I didn’t note was that I actually teach online, through a webcam! When I made the switch from traditional teaching to online I was surprised by the close connections that can be made that way. Of course, some other countries are already comfortable with online meetings for everything from business matters to non-urgent medical appointments. So, I should have expected it, but I was used to the traditional office and classroom setting so it was a new experience for me. I began to wonder if it could work as well for workshops and coaching sessions. And lo and behold, it was a natural fit! For many people, it’s much more comfortable to be in your own room, yet still able to see each other and speak naturally. Others enjoy not having to worry about a commute, the lack of professionals in their area, or even childcare. Certainly there are folks who will always prefer the traditional office setting, but this has been a great way to expand to new areas and offer much-needed services and community anywhere with a phone or an internet connection! Greta: Who are your favorite clients or workshop participants? Dr. Ruthie: Working in this area, I meet so many great people. To make it even better, we’re all there to build something inspiring and uplifting together. I tend to think of two main groups when I think of my clients. First we have the thrill-seekers, who are looking for more explicit information and wild ideas but still appreciate a focus on well-being and relational quality. The other group is the outwardly conservative yet inwardly daring. These are the folks that appreciate new techniques and ideas, but absolutely require a balanced, appreciative and caring approach. I have to say that I love both groups and need them each for balance, but the latter group has a special place in my heart. For me, sex is about so many things: play, body language, intimacy, exploration, connection, celebration, reclaiming, communication, and all sorts of pleasure. The boldest new sex technique from Hollywood can be very exciting, but without those richer underpinnings, it would do about as much good as those cheesy tips that sell glossy magazines. Greta: What inspired you to start reviewing toys on your blog? Dr. Ruthie: Toys are just so darned fun! There is no need to stop playing, exploring and imagining just because we’re grown up now. Anything that encourages you to discover and communicate with a smile on your face and a wiggle in your toes is worthwhile. Plus, many of these products give us tools for finding or sharing our orgasms, especially if we’ve struggled with that in the past or are adjusting to changes in our bodies or lives. If I hold up an anatomical line drawing and start pointing and talking, I’m suddenly that boring sex ed teacher from high school. However, when I have a vibrator in my hand and an attractive velvet and satin vulva-model, eyebrows raise and ears open. Now it’s applied, now the information makes sense and is clearly useful. Plus, I’m a big advocate for the value of pleasure, whether you’re single or in a relationship. And what promotes pressure-free, happy, healthy, readily available pleasure for people of all genders like a sex toy and some good lube? I swear, I have found my perfect job. Greta: Are there any toys you’re really excited about? Dr. Ruthie: Yes! I’m absolutely in love with the Tenga line (especially the Tenga Flip) for the special penis in your life, the G-Ki for its ability to hit the g-spot like a pro, Babelicious flavored lubes, and the Babeland massage candles.The Flip is so easy to clean, simple to lubricate, and by every report, it feels amazing. I’m so glad that it has come to the market! As for the G-Ki, I’ve met many women who were able to find and make the most of their G-Spots with this beauty. In fact, I know of several women who discovered that they could squirt thanks to the G-Ki. The Babelicious flavored lubes make me so happy because they not only smell and taste great, but they actually are healthy and high quality lubes. Most of the flavored lubes on the market are loaded with cheap glycerine, sugar and even honey, none of which belong in a vulva. Not Babelicious! Plus, the flavors are very creative. And who doesn’t love a good massage candle? Warm wax poured over waiting skin, a sensual massage, and an arousing scent filling the room - sounds like the perfect combination to me. Greta: We love your video reviews – what prompted you to start reviewing in that format? What has been you most challenging video review? Dr. Ruthie: Thank you so much! They’ve been a lot of fun. I began doing video reviews because I wanted those with mobility or other special concerns to be able to really see and hear the product for themselves. While people who live near a good sex boutique can go and see the products on display, most of us aren’t that lucky. I quickly discovered that this was also an easier way to encourage sex-positive dialogue and information, too. People often forward my videos to each other, or drop me an email with their thoughts. Either way, it’s become a fun way to advocate for pleasure, accessibility, and pleasure all at the same time! Plus, folks get a better of idea of who I am and what I’m like, too. Greta: What new discovery/information/sex tip have you discovered recently and are excited to share with our Babeland Blog readers? Dr. Ruthie: I’m a proud lube snob. While sexual health professionals have been touting the value of good lubes for some time, this is still new information to many people. A good, slick, glycerine and paraben-free lube is so important to have in your bag and on your bedside table. Your body deserves far better than the junk that passes for lube at drug and department stores! While there is a lot of talk about performance anxiety for men (or anyone with a penis) who are the giving side of penetration, all genders on the receiving side can experience the same anxiety! Privacy, comfort, communication, and the ready availability of good lube can go along way to ease that. It can also make exploration of all of those other kinds of sex (the kinds that don’t require thrusty penises) so much more fun, leisurely, and pleasurable. I keep bottles of several kinds at home for various purposes and times of the month, plus some sample packets in my purse! Whether or not you end up needing it, it’s something you always want to have handy. Greta: Can you give us a hint about the next project you're planning? Dr. Ruthie: Just a little one! I'm putting together a very special series of online workshops and coaching for women who are interested in becoming more orgasmic with themselves and possibly with partners. This will be a limited group that meets online regularly, so that we can grow as a supportive community of sex-positive women exploring together. I expect to begin adding participants a little later this year, so we can start the new year on an inspired and exciting note! While I am not yet advertising this group, if anyone is interested in learning more they are encouraged to contact me as I expect it to fill very quickly. Greta: What do you enjoy most about bringing sex-positive information to people? Dr. Ruthie: Oh my goodness, that is a big question! I firmly and unconditionally believe that every one of us deserves an intimate, caring, healthy and pleasurable relationship with our bodies and with our partners, no matter what has happened in our lives. That’s why I do this. Our sexuality is the most intimate form of body language that we have with each other and with ourselves, and many of us need a little help with improving (or reestablishing) those lines of communication. When I meet someone who has seen my videos, been to a workshop, or is working with me one-on-one, and they have that sparkle in their eyes while they whisper, “Remember what we talked about? It worked!” there are just no words to describe how I feel. Whether it opened an important conversation, led to an orgasm, or inspired self-discovery and joy, it’s a perfect moment. I know that I’m bringing something rare and important to others as well as myself and I feel energized to continue working in the vein of sex-positive community building and advocacy. Greta: Where can readers find you online? Dr. Ruthie: My blog and professional site are located at www.ExploringIntimacy.com, and my YouTube Channel is http://www.youtube.com/user/ExploringIntimacy. I'm also on Twitter and on Facebook. Better yet, send me an email at ExploringIntimacy@gmail.com or give me a ring at (301) 979-9910!

An Interview with Andrew Sullivan of An Open Invitation: A Real Swingers’ Party in San Francisco

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 16:33:39 GMT

Tonight is one of the biggest nights in the porn industry, the final evening event of the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo: the 2011 AVN awards! One of the definitive "stars" this particular year in awards is sure to be Private Media Group's independent release, An Open Invitation: A Real Swingers' Party in San Francisco, nominated for such categories as best film, best actress, best supporting actress, best supporting actor, best director, and best group sex scene. It's sure to be an exciting night for both the creative forces behind the film, such as director Ilana Rothman and VP of Private's Online Services, Andrew Sullivan, as well as for the amazing stars, such as Kink.com talent Lorelei Lee and Crash Pad Series star Mickey Mod. Also exciting, though, is the fact that Andrew was generous enough to give us an in-depth interview before the award results were even in! Here's what he had to say about the film and the lifestyle it presents: Sarah: What inspired the making a film for couples about swinging and open relationships? Andrew: For couples, modern life can be hard. Both people are often working, focusing on their financial commitments. Then there’s shuttling kids, shopping, cooking…it’s enough to transform a couple of wonderful people in love into emotionally distant people who, through a series of daily negotiations over time and responsibilities, have lost touch with the erotic base, fueled by open communication, that sets the foundation for vibrant, long-term relationships. So one of the primary motivators for the story was that to show how the trust, history and honesty at the center of healthy relationships can be catalysts for transformative experiences. Lovers should want their lover to grow and enjoy and seek adventure and live life fully. We need to rethink our ideas of what long-term relationships are for and An Open Invitation, by starting with a couple very much in love, raises this question. Sarah: This is an independent film up for 11 AVN award nominations. What does it offer viewers that some mainstream porn might not? Andrew: A meaningful, thoughtful script. A great love story. Great cinematography. Great sets. Great acting. The cast was selected based on their acting skills. Everyone on set could act and they viewed themselves as actors first and adult stars second. It’s also a docu-drama. It’s rare to see a fictional narrative intersect with a documentary as smoothly as it does in An Open Invitation. Most people actually don’t even notice what we did when transitioning to the party scene. We also made a point to shoot on location. I didn’t want an adult film shot in a villa or on a hotel couch. We wanted to put people in clubs that viewers might have been to, restaurant settings they can identify with, work environments that unify the audience and actor. These efforts are all part of the general goal to create a believable arch of experience. We want the viewer to think: “Hey…I can see that happening to me.” This is not a film with a girl at a bar who quickly returns home with a man who compliments her sizeable tits. This is a film that tries to show how a normal couple might go from having a dinner to ending up a private play party…and enjoy it! Sarah: Who has been involved with the project and what does it reflect about the swinging lifestyle? Andrew: This film is a celebration of the people who are the real cultural drivers behind the alternative sex scene in San Francisco. I incorporated the people who run the clubs, the websites and the parties into the film. They’re there. They act in it and we promote that fact. So this film is an expose to that scene in the most positive sense. Sarah: How did you select the swingers and swingers’ party hosts who attend the party in the film? Andrew: The guests selected from a couple of different groups: Kink.com’s list of party-goers, a number of couples from LifestyleLounge.com, and members of local couples’ clubs who responded to an invitation email. All guests were then screened for a couple of criteria, which included aesthetics, experience in the lifestyle and exhibitionist tendencies. All guests had to take photos and sign model release documents before entering the party. Sarah: An Open Invitation has such an eclectic and dynamic cast. How did you choose which actors would be involved? What’s your personal favorite scene? Andrew: Kink.com’s casting director suggested a number of potential candidates and Ilana and I went through all of the photos and videos of each candidate to determine the right person for each role. Acting skill was key, as was diversity of cast. We had a number of debates over some of the key roles and I think we ended up with an ideal pool of talent. Everyone really delivered. You know, never having produced an adult video and having seen my share of really bad interviews with stars, I came to the set with certain assumptions. This cast blew them all away – they are all so articulate, so professional, so passionate and kind. There are many scenes in the film that are my favorite – they all have an important role in the progression of the story. But the restaurant scene for me rises above the others. The physical acting is fantastic! The build up from an awkward, tense beginning to a bacchanalian feast was done perfectly. These subtle moments, such as when James Deen (playing Mr. Bloom) and India (playing Mrs. Bloom) swap seats to get cozy with their opposites, or the moment where they wrestle over the glass of wine - which it’s cute and provides a glimpse of the type of comfort that a strong relationship would have - these were exactly the kind of subtle and believable escalations that I was looking for. The restaurant scene was the tipping point for the Blooms, because their lives will never be the same when the leave the restaurant with their new friends, which I think is an experience that we can all relate to. Sarah: Both the director Ilana Rothman and the star Lorelei Lee of this film are women who were heavily involved with the design and style of the feature. How does their perspective as women enhance the film, or allow them to connect more closely with the viewer? Andrew: The fact that the film was directed by a great woman, with much of the sex orchestrated by a great woman, as well as the scenes shot by a great woman - that makes a difference. Certain subtleties, perspectives, attention to the body and the face and the clothes…I hate to generalize and stereotype, but I don’t believe this film could have been made by men. It has a distinctly aggressive feminine eroticism to it. And that is, whether intentional or not, a reflection of the personalities behind it. Sarah: The Kink.com armory is such a beautiful shooting location. How did Kink.com get involved in the project? Andrew: This was PRIVATE Media Group’s second film with Kink.com. The first, entitled “A Real Swingers Orgy,” was a strong concept, but fell short in a number of critical areas, though given that it was Kink.com’s first feature film, it was an extraordinary effort, actually. For our second effort, we wanted to make sure we had more creative control and leveraged what Kink.com does really well: production. Kink.com has incredibly strong production skills and easy access to some lesser-known, but very talented actors. We added a meaningful story and the concept of the Open series. The party scene was filmed in Kink.com’s Upper Floor, which was created using the budget from our first collaboration. It’s a wonderful space. Sarah: Sex toys are also the stars of the film (such as the wonderful Hitachi Magic Wand!). How did you decide to make sex toys a part of the show? Andrew: Well, for example, when Ilana and I were discussing a particularly passionate sex scene with the Angels (played by Lorelei Lee and Mickey Mod), she made a point to say there would be a Hitachi in the scene. Ilana and Lorelei both made sure the clit was well-cared for. But it goes beyond that. The women in this film are extremely relaxed and obviously enjoying the making of the film. This level of comfort – of being around strong women who are passionate about what they’re doing and very comfortable in their positions – was infectious. Just check out the incredibly hot sex – made hot because the women are in control of the action. That’s just a little of what they brought to the show. Sarah: As I understand it, this film is a part of a series. Can you tell me more about that? Andrew: I have the next two scripts written already and the next Open Series film will be shot in Barcelona in the spring. The series deals with erotic triggers that present opportunities for people to explore their boundaries. The triggers are everyday, common, quotidian things – like food and cooking, dance and language. Things that are core to our daily routine but, when presented differently when the mind is open, act as gateways to growth. I’m always looking for the believable creative arch that takes a “normal” person and leads them into an extraordinary situation. The series will travel around the world to major cities – Paris, Rome, New York, Los Angeles, Montreal – and showcase the local cultural drivers, incorporating them into the film just as we did in San Francisco. People will be able to sign up to attend the real party that will close every Open Series film, and I’ve already had strong international requests to attend the Open Series event in Barcelona. Sarah: What would you like couples to take away from the film? Andrew: A conversation about what they might do to live more in lines with their interests, their desires and their dreams. What they might do to love more passionately. Even decades into a great relationship, you can make it even better. What is it that you can do as a couple to help each other grow? I think this is the key to An Open Invitation: the relationship should be seen as a home base to which you can always return from your risky adventures. Use its strength, lean on the love, test the trust. The relationship can liberate, but both parties have to be ready. That requires an honest talk. me.” This is not a film with a girl at a bar who quickly returns home with a man who compliments her sizeable tits. This is a film that tries to show how a normal couple might go from having a dinner to ending up a private play party…and enjoy it! Sarah: Who has been involved with the project and what does it reflect about the swinging lifestyle? Andrew: This film is a celebration of the people who are the real cultural drivers behind the alternative sex scene in San Francisco. I incorporated the people who run the clubs, the websites and the parties into the film. They’re there. They act in it and we promote that fact. So this film is an expose to that scene in the most positive sense. Sarah: How did you select the swingers and swingers’ party hosts who attend the party in the film? Andrew: The guests selected from a couple of different groups: Kink.com’s list of party-goers, a number of couples from LifestyleLounge.com, and members of local couples’ clubs who responded to an invitation email. All guests were then screened for a couple of criteria, which included aesthetics, experience in the lifestyle and exhibitionist tendencies. All guests had to take photos and sign model release documents before entering the party. Sarah: An Open Invitation has such an eclectic and dynamic cast. How did you choose which actors would be involved? What’s your personal favorite scene? Andrew: Kink.com’s casting director suggested a number of potential candidates and Ilana and I went through all of the photos and videos of each candidate to determine the right person for each role. Acting skill was key, as was diversity of cast. We had a number of debates over some of the key roles and I think we ended up with an ideal pool of talent. Everyone really delivered. You know, never having produced an adult video and having seen my share of really bad interviews with stars, I came to the set with certain assumptions. This cast blew them all away – they are all so articulate, so professional, so passionate and kind. There are many scenes in the film that are my favorite – they all have an important role in the progression of the story. But the restaurant scene for me rises above the others. The physical acting is fantastic! The build up from an awkward, tense beginning to a bacchanalian feast was done perfectly. These subtle moments, such as when James Deen (playing Mr. Bloom) and India (playing Mrs. Bloom) swap seats to get cozy with their opposites, or the moment where they wrestle over the glass of wine - which it’s cute and provides a glimpse of the type of comfort that a strong relationship would have - these were exactly the kind of subtle and believable escalations that I was looking for. The restaurant scene was the tipping point for the Blooms, because their lives will never be the same when the leave the restaurant with their new friends, which I think is an experience that we can all relate to. Sarah: Both the director Ilana Rothman and the star Lorelei Lee of this film are women who were heavily involved with the design and style of the feature. How does their perspective as women enhance the film, or allow them to connect more closely with the viewer? Andrew: The fact that the film was directed by a great woman, with much of the sex orchestrated by a great woman, as well as the scenes shot by a great woman - that makes a difference. Certain subtleties, perspectives, attention to the body and the face and the clothes…I hate to generalize and stereotype, but I don’t believe this film could have been made by men. It has a distinctly aggressive feminine eroticism to it. And that is, whether intentional or not, a reflection of the personalities behind it. Sarah: The Kink.com armory is such a beautiful shooting location. How did Kink.com get involved in the project? Andrew: This was PRIVATE Media Group’s second film with Kink.com. The first, entitled “A Real Swingers Orgy,” was a strong concept, but fell short in a number of critical areas, though given that it was Kink.com’s first feature film, it was an extraordinary effort, actually. For our second effort, we wanted to make sure we had more creative control and leveraged what Kink.com does really well: production. Kink.com has incredibly strong production skills and easy access to some lesser-known, but very talented actors. We added a meaningful story and the concept of the Open series. The party scene was filmed in Kink.com’s Upper Floor, which was created using the budget from our first collaboration. It’s a wonderful space. Sarah: Sex toys are also the stars of the film (such as the wonderful Hitachi Magic Wand!). How did you decide to make sex toys a part of the show? Andrew: Well, for example, when Ilana and I were discussing a particularly passionate sex scene with the Angels (played by Lorelei Lee and Mickey Mod), she made a point to say there would be a Hitachi in the scene. Ilana and Lorelei both made sure the clit was well-cared for. But it goes beyond that. The women in this film are extremely relaxed and obviously enjoying the making of the film. This level of comfort – of being around strong women who are passionate about what they’re doing and very comfortable in their positions – was infectious. Just check out the incredibly hot sex – made hot because the women are in control of the action. That’s just a little of what they brought to the show. Sarah: As I understand it, this film is a part of a series. Can you tell me more about that? Andrew: I have the next two scripts written already and the next Open Series film will be shot in Barcelona in the spring. The series deals with erotic triggers that present opportunities for people to explore their boundaries. The triggers are everyday, common, quotidian things – like food and cooking, dance and language. Things that are core to our daily routine but, when presented differently when the mind is open, act as gateways to growth. I’m always looking for the believable creative arch that takes a “normal” person and leads them into an extraordinary situation. The series will travel around the world to major cities – Paris, Rome, New York, Los Angeles, Montreal – and showcase the local cultural drivers, incorporating them into the film just as we did in San Francisco. People will be able to sign up to attend the real party that will close every Open Series film, and I’ve already had strong international requests to attend the Open Series event in Barcelona. Sarah: What would you like couples to take away from the film? Andrew: A conversation about what they might do to live more in lines with their interests, their desires and their dreams. What they might do to love more passionately. Even decades into a great relationship, you can make it even better. What is it that you can do as a couple to help each other grow? I think this is the key to An Open Invitation: the relationship should be seen as a home base to which you can always return from your risky adventures. Use its strength, lean on the love, test the trust. The relationship can liberate, but both parties have to be ready. That requires an honest talk.

Behind the Scenes at Babeland: An Interview with Cristen, Receiver/Sex Educator!

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 13:58:19 GMT

We're about to reach the end of a year of glorious Staff Picks, and I, for one, couldn't be happier. It's one of my favorite parts of the website. Stay tuned for lots of exciting Staff Picks in 2011 (including our Valentine's Day Staff Picks: what our staff will be giving their nearest and dearest thie year). And for our final staff spotlight of the year, may I present to you... Cristen! Cristen is the beloved Receiver (in addition to her fabulous Sex Educator work) at our Brooklyn store, and she's quickly become an essential part of the Babeland family. Read on to find out more about her job, how she got here, and her favorite slang for genitalia. Abby: Tell us the story of how you started working at Babeland. What brought you here? Cristen: I was first introduced to Babeland as a store about seven years ago by my then best friend, now husband. I fell in love with the place! All those things to play with! *swoon* I instantly wished I worked here. In March of this year, I had decided to leave my previous job at a corporate law firm and applied to Babeland on a whim. Imagine my surprise when I got a call about a week later to schedule an interview. I was ecstatic! Abby: Where were you before Babeland, throughout your career? Cristen: I have worked a ridiculous and varied number of jobs. I went to school for acting, so that is still my passion and drive, but I've also worked as an event planner for a corporate law firm, security for political debates, gift shop associate at a theme restaurant in Times Square, and a bank teller. I also own my own bakery catering business so if you attend a special event at Babeland in NY and have cupcakes, chances are they're mine! Abby: Yum. You should ship some to us at the warehouse in Oakland, please! But back to the real questions: what do you do here? What’s a day in the life of you at your job? Cristen: I work both as a Sex Educator and an Inventory Receiver here at Babeland Brooklyn. To be honest, I don't think we even have such a thing as a "typical day" here. So much of what we do depends on what our customers need and ask us about. One day I could be answering questions about lube and condoms, the next day I could be giving a flogging demonstration (one of my favorite things to do) or talking about the finer points of a blow job. It all depends on the questions we get during the day. To be sure though, if it's a day when I'm in the basement receiving shipments, I'm probably buried under boxes of dildos and bandaging a wide assortment of paper cuts. I love receiving shipments because I'm always the first one to see all the new pretty stuff we got. Abby: What was your family's reaction when you told them you work at Babeland? Cristen: My mom was pretty shocked at first. She liked the fact that talk a lot about safe sex here, but I think the fact that I teach classes about spanking and write porn reviews kinda freaked her out. She's been more receptive to it lately, though. I may even be able to get her to come into one of the stores soon! And I did get a lot of support from my in-laws; my mother-in-law thinks the work we do here is incredible. Abby: Tell us about your favorite/most touching/life-changing moment(s) with a customer, coworker, whoever. Cristen: Oh man, I've had so many incredible moments in my short time here. One time, two older women came in and were over by the harness section, giggling to each other. A coworker and I helped them pick out a new harness and dildo along with an assortment of other things. While we were ringing them up, one of the women burst into the most amazing, face-splitting smile and said, "We've been together for 25 years and we're finally getting married tomorrow!" Turns out, they were splurging on some new toys for their honeymoon. My second favorite moment right behind that one was an interaction that I had with an 82-year-old woman. She was buying the Hitachi Magic Wand and while I was going over the care and cleaning, she leans over, stops me, and says "Honey, this is my fifth one. I'm just here because my last one broke and I didn't want to be without it for long!" Just goes to show you, you can never judge a book by its cover. Abby: Very true. What’s something you’ve learned about yourself through your work at Babeland? Cristen: That I can teach! I have always been good at public speaking, but speaking to an audience and teaching an audience are two totally different things. The first time I taught a mini-workshop, I was terrified. What if I messed up? What if people got bored? What if they didn't learn anything? But as I got into it, I started have a ton of fun with the audience. And where else do you get to teach people about sex in all its varied forms? Abby: And how about something you've learned about sex? Cristen: That there should be no shame as long as things are consensual and you aren't hurting anyone else. I grew up in a really conservative area of the country, and harbored a lot of shame about sex and sexuality. I have been able to let so much of that go since working here, and it's an amazing feeling. Abby: Finally, my favorite question: what are your favorite words for sexy anatomical parts? Cristen: Cunt, pussy, junk, bits, tits, titties – tee hee! of other things. While we were ringing them up, one of the women burst into the most amazing, face-splitting smile and said, "We've been together for 25 years and we're finally getting married tomorrow!" Turns out, they were splurging on some new toys for their honeymoon. My second favorite moment right behind that one was an interaction that I had with an 82-year-old woman. She was buying the Hitachi Magic Wand and while I was going over the care and cleaning, she leans over, stops me, and says "Honey, this is my fifth one. I'm just here because my last one broke and I didn't want to be without it for long!" Just goes to show you, you can never judge a book by its cover. Abby: Very true. What’s something you’ve learned about yourself through your work at Babeland? Cristen: That I can teach! I have always been good at public speaking, but speaking to an audience and teaching an audience are two totally different things. The first time I taught a mini-workshop, I was terrified. What if I messed up? What if people got bored? What if they didn't learn anything? But as I got into it, I started have a ton of fun with the audience. And where else do you get to teach people about sex in all its varied forms? Abby: And how about something you've learned about sex? Cristen: That there should be no shame as long as things are consensual and you aren't hurting anyone else. I grew up in a really conservative area of the country, and harbored a lot of shame about sex and sexuality. I have been able to let so much of that go since working here, and it's an amazing feeling. Abby: Finally, my favorite question: what are your favorite words for sexy anatomical parts? Cristen: Cunt, pussy, junk, bits, tits, titties – tee hee!

Rough Sex 2: An Interview with Director Tristan Taormino

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 13:15:43 GMT

Around here, we're big fans of Tristan Taormino's work (and it's not just because she was a Babeland Sex Educator way back in the day!). It's smart, sexy, and educational without ever being dry (in more ways than one, heh). Her latest, Rough Sex 2, is no exception -- this DVD is full of the edgy, intelligent, and downright hot sex we love to see on film. Read on for Tristan's thoughts about Rough Sex 2, exploring performers' fantasies, and more. Babeland: What was your vision in creating Rough Sex 2? Tristan: Because the Rough Sex series is based on the female performers' fantasies, I begin with a list performers who I want to work with. I don't have a specific vision or any pre-conceived ideas about what their scenes will look like, or what the content might be. In the case of Madison Young’s scene, she wanted to work with Dylan Ryan and imagined a domestic scene with dominance, submission, and… cake. I never thought I would shoot a scene where food was part of the sex, but Madison had this idea about her Domme sitting on a cake and making her lick it off her. So I got her a kitchen and a cake! The movie really takes shape as we're making it. I follow the performers where they want to go. Babeland: That makes sense -- the performances are so genuine and inspired. What kind of feedback did you get about the first movie? Was there controversy? Tristan: I was expecting more controversy, actually, but it seems like the overwhelming majority of people really understood what I was trying to do. The feedback about Rough Sex has been really positive. One scene — “Stranded” with Satine Phoenix and Derrick Pierce — was screened at several film festivals and won the audience award at the CineKink Festival in New York City. Babeland: That's great! What can viewers expect that makes this installment similar to/different from the first? Tristan: Rough Sex 2 is very different in several ways from the first one, although I didn’t know it would be going into it. For example, the scenes feature more specific BDSM activities like bondage, forced orgasms, flogging, spanking, knife play, and hot wax; it also has some unique fetishes, including food fetish, human pony play, and kinky domestic service. The scenes are lot more stylized; they're more like mini-features than anything I’ve directed before. I concentrated more on lighting, art direction, and the storytelling. For Madison’s pony girl fantasy, we shot it at a real ranch, with real horses in the background. The stalls, sets, props — everything was authentic, which I think adds a lot to the scene. Babeland: The authenticity and performer input really do shine through. How did you collaborate with the performers to create the scenes? Tristan: Just like in the first Rough Sex, I like to interview the performers before their scenes, and you get to hear directly from them what they want and what they like. In Rough Sex 2, I decided to mix it up: sometimes there's an interview and other times, the viewer gets to sit in on the actual negotiation of the scene. I remember that April Flores and Claire Adams had this great conversation — they talked about their desires, dislikes, limits and boundaries. I think it’s unique and refreshing to hear the performers talk openly about what they're about to do. April admits she doesn't like to be slapped too hard on her breasts, and Claire reveals that she likes to be punched on her chest. At one point, April says to Claire, "Just use me." I love her honesty. Babeland: What do you want your viewers to take away from this film? Tristan: It's very important to me that the viewers hear from the performers themselves so they can understand how much control the performers have over the scene. I want people to see a diverse array of desires, especially among the women who like to express their erotic submission — each one of them does it differently. I want viewers to see what hot, consensual, kinky sex can be. Many of the performers are BDSM players in real life. When Mark Davis and Chayse Evans co-top Adrianna Nicole, it’s clear that all three have experience with the activities they're performing. Mark knows how to wield a flogger and how long to leave clothespins on pussy lips; on the flip side, Adrianna knows how much her body can take and how to communicate throughout the scene. Watching this give and take, as people explore these edgy areas, will hopefully inspire people to do whatever they want to do safely and respectfully. Babeland: That's a goal we can definitely get behind, too. So on a personal level, what's your favorite scene to watch in Rough Sex 2? Tristan: My favorite scene to watch is "Eyes" with Bobbi Starr and James Deen. Bobbi and James have incredible chemistry that just explodes on the screen. Theirs is the least stylized, the least fetishy, the least story-based scene. He just takes total control of her, and her submission is breathtaking. Babeland: And what was your favorite scene to shoot? Tristan: My favorite scene to shoot was definitely "Poker," starring Sinnamon Love, Richard Mann, Shane Diesel, Orpheus Black and Alonzo Knight. Sinnamon plays a slave in service to her Master, Orpheus, who hosts a poker party for his friends, and she serves them all in multiple ways. Orpheus is a real Dominant in the LA leather scene (he had never appeared in a porn film before), and the way he runs the scene is really impressive. There are maybe a handful of BDSM scenes with all African-American performers — most of what's out there is white-on-black BDSM, so I was acutely aware that we were shooting something that was groundbreaking. Sinnamon is just so clear about her desires and when she goes into a submissive space, she goes all the way. Babeland: We noticed that there are no male subs in the scenes. Why is this? Tristan: The scenes are created by the performers, and while there are female and male doms and female subs, there aren't any male subs like there were in the first Rough Sex. It just turned out that way. I didn't want to impose any ideas on the performers, and I'm comfortable with the results. Yes, there is a female submissive in every scene, but each of them has a unique voice and journey, so ultimately I think it reflects a great diversity of female desire and sexuality. Babeland: Finally, what's next for you? Tristan: My latest film, The Expert Guide to Female Orgasms, was just released, and I think it’s my best sex education movie for Vivid Ed. I really love it. I'm currently editing Rough Sex 3: Adrianna's Dangerous Mind. Adrianna Nicole is in every scene, and the entire film revolves around her kinky fantasies. It's pretty unbelievable: edgy, playful, perverse… one of my favorite projects to date.re their scenes, and you get to hear directly from them what they want and what they like. In Rough Sex 2, I decided to mix it up: sometimes there's an interview and other times, the viewer gets to sit in on the actual negotiation of the scene. I remember that April Flores and Claire Adams had this great conversation — they talked about their desires, dislikes, limits and boundaries. I think it’s unique and refreshing to hear the performers talk openly about what they're about to do. April admits she doesn't like to be slapped too hard on her breasts, and Claire reveals that she likes to be punched on her chest. At one point, April says to Claire, "Just use me." I love her honesty. Babeland: What do you want your viewers to take away from this film? Tristan: It's very important to me that the viewers hear from the performers themselves so they can understand how much control the performers have over the scene. I want people to see a diverse array of desires, especially among the women who like to express their erotic submission — each one of them does it differently. I want viewers to see what hot, consensual, kinky sex can be. Many of the performers are BDSM players in real life. When Mark Davis and Chayse Evans co-top Adrianna Nicole, it’s clear that all three have experience with the activities they're performing. Mark knows how to wield a flogger and how long to leave clothespins on pussy lips; on the flip side, Adrianna knows how much her body can take and how to communicate throughout the scene. Watching this give and take, as people explore these edgy areas, will hopefully inspire people to do whatever they want to do safely and respectfully. Babeland: That's a goal we can definitely get behind, too. So on a personal level, what's your favorite scene to watch in Rough Sex 2? Tristan: My favorite scene to watch is "Eyes" with Bobbi Starr and James Deen. Bobbi and James have incredible chemistry that just explodes on the screen. Theirs is the least stylized, the least fetishy, the least story-based scene. He just takes total control of her, and her submission is breathtaking. Babeland: And what was your favorite scene to shoot? Tristan: My favorite scene to shoot was definitely "Poker," starring Sinnamon Love, Richard Mann, Shane Diesel, Orpheus Black and Alonzo Knight. Sinnamon plays a slave in service to her Master, Orpheus, who hosts a poker party for his friends, and she serves them all in multiple ways. Orpheus is a real Dominant in the LA leather scene (he had never appeared in a porn film before), and the way he runs the scene is really impressive. There are maybe a handful of BDSM scenes with all African-American performers — most of what's out there is white-on-black BDSM, so I was acutely aware that we were shooting something that was groundbreaking. Sinnamon is just so clear about her desires and when she goes into a submissive space, she goes all the way. Babeland: We noticed that there are no male subs in the scenes. Why is this? Tristan: The scenes are created by the performers, and while there are female and male doms and female subs, there aren't any male subs like there were in the first Rough Sex. It just turned out that way. I didn't want to impose any ideas on the performers, and I'm comfortable with the results. Yes, there is a female submissive in every scene, but each of them has a unique voice and journey, so ultimately I think it reflects a great diversity of female desire and sexuality. Babeland: Finally, what's next for you? Tristan: My latest film, The Expert Guide to Female Orgasms, was just released, and I think it’s my best sex education movie for Vivid Ed. I really love it. I'm currently editing Rough Sex 3: Adrianna's Dangerous Mind. Adrianna Nicole is in every scene, and the entire film revolves around her kinky fantasies. It's pretty unbelievable: edgy, playful, perverse… one of my favorite projects to date.

Glass Toy Safety, Part 2: Interview with Standard Glass

Wed, 24 Nov 2010 12:00:45 GMT

Here is the second installment of our posts about glass toy safety. We will have the third and final installment coming up next week with our special guest blogger and champion of body safe sex toys, True Pleasures, weighing in on the topic. Now for the interview: Destin wrote up some questions and Phoebe sent them along to Standard Glass, the makers of our lovely Candy Colored Glass Dildos, to find out more. Here is the full interview with questions and answers: Babeland: What is the typical lead level in the glass stock which is used for this type of “hand blown” product? SG: The clear glass we use to coat our products is lead-free. It is a soda-lime glass, composed mainly of sand, soda ash, and lime. These are melted in a furnace at around 2400 degrees Fahrenheit until they become molten clear glass. We buy this raw material from one of the most reputable and well-known producers in the business. The interior coloration is made from colored glasses we buy from a different supplier. These are complex, proprietary formulas that are rigorously tested for quality and consistency. They are designed to work well with our clear glass, and that is tested again in house. Some but not all of these colors do contain lead. We have a message in to our supplier, but they might not be willing to divulge their specific recipes. This lead is actually dissolved in the glass solution, and also coated by the layer of clear glass on the outside during our blowing process. There is really no risk of exposure to lead via our toys. Babeland: Does “Pyrex” have a lead level in it? SG: Pyrex is a brand name of borosilicate glass. Pyrex also does not have lead in it. See these wikis for an explanation of the types of glasses: Borosilicate Glass Soda Lime Glass Pyrex Lead Glass Lead Glass Babeland: Is any lead amount in the glass exposed to human contact while the glass is in a regular state? (Or is it only something that humans can be exposed to while the glass is hot/molten)? SG: Because our clear glass is lead free, there is no risk with our products once finished. Lead crystal and lead-based ceramics glazes can leach lead when certain liquids are stored in them over the long term. This does not happen with our products. During our blowing process, there are some brief periods where chemicals are liberated due to the heating of the colored glasses in the core. We deal with this through extensive exhaust hoods and fresh air ventilation. Once they are coated with clear, this ceases to be an issue. Babeland: Is there such a thing as “lead-free” glass stock which would/could be used to manufacture this type of product? SG: Yes, as noted above, our glass stock is lead-free, as is borosilicate glass. Babeland: What does the lead do for the glass anyway? i.e, why is it ever present at all? SG: Lead has the effect of lowering the melting point of the glass, making it softer and easier to work hot and grind when cold, and makes the glass transmit light very well, adding sparkle. Some factories, like Steuben or Waterford, still use leaded glasses for blowing and subsequent cutting/polishing. Other companies, like Schott, produce very high lead glasses for use in optical lenses, radioactive shielding, and other industrial applications. Babeland: Does lead level fluctuate depending on the color of the glass? I.E., Does colored glass stock have more lead than clear? SG: Yes, as mentioned above. Some colored glasses are lead-free, some have lead. It is up to the manufacturer. The exact chemistry involved is quite complex, and if you would like further explanation, we will have to consult our suppliers. Babeland: Is there a cost correlation based on the lead level in the glass (i.e., is glass with lots of lead less expensive)? SG: No, not particularly. The optical glass stock used for telescope lenses is very expensive. With our blowing stock, no, because none of the options contain lead, so it’s not a cost issue. With the colors, no, there is no cost correlation with lead. The expense difference between the colors comes from other ingredients like gold or silver, or from varying difficulty in successful repetitive production. If you have any other questions about this, or anything involving our products or glass in general, please feel free to contact us. We will do our best to answer them as quickly as possible. Thanks for your concern, and your thoroughness as a retailer! Standard Glass standardglass@glasstoys.com Need another reason to check out this work of art that doubles as a Dildo? How about 10 reasons why we love it too!of product? SG: Yes, as noted above, our glass stock is lead-free, as is borosilicate glass. Babeland: What does the lead do for the glass anyway? i.e, why is it ever present at all? SG: Lead has the effect of lowering the melting point of the glass, making it softer and easier to work hot and grind when cold, and makes the glass transmit light very well, adding sparkle. Some factories, like Steuben or Waterford, still use leaded glasses for blowing and subsequent cutting/polishing. Other companies, like Schott, produce very high lead glasses for use in optical lenses, radioactive shielding, and other industrial applications. Babeland: Does lead level fluctuate depending on the color of the glass? I.E., Does colored glass stock have more lead than clear? SG: Yes, as mentioned above. Some colored glasses are lead-free, some have lead. It is up to the manufacturer. The exact chemistry involved is quite complex, and if you would like further explanation, we will have to consult our suppliers. Babeland: Is there a cost correlation based on the lead level in the glass (i.e., is glass with lots of lead less expensive)? SG: No, not particularly. The optical glass stock used for telescope lenses is very expensive. With our blowing stock, no, because none of the options contain lead, so it’s not a cost issue. With the colors, no, there is no cost correlation with lead. The expense difference between the colors comes from other ingredients like gold or silver, or from varying difficulty in successful repetitive production. If you have any other questions about this, or anything involving our products or glass in general, please feel free to contact us. We will do our best to answer them as quickly as possible. Thanks for your concern, and your thoroughness as a retailer! Standard Glass standardglass@glasstoys.com Need another reason to check out this work of art that doubles as a Dildo? How about 10 reasons why we love it too!

Behind the Scenes at Babeland: An Interview with Lauren, Receiver/Sex Educator

Mon, 08 Nov 2010 10:09:26 GMT

You've seen our Staff Picks section, right? Every month, six of our staff members pick one of their favorite toys, and we tell you all about it here. And in the spirit of letting you into our behind-the-scenes wonderland, I (Abby, your trusty Web Editor) interview one of our Staff Pick-ers every month. This month, learn a little more about Lauren, our Soho Receiver/Sex Educator extraordinaire! Lauren brings an awesome sense of humor and a unrelenting commitment to sex education to everything she does, and we adore her for it. Read on! Abby: What first brought you to Babeland? Tell us the story of how you started working here. Lauren: I grew up in NYC and found Babeland about ten years ago, after too many trips to seedy sex shops in the West Village. The first thing I bought was a beginner's strap-on kit, but it wasn’t until I found my true love, the Hitachi Magic Wand, that I knew that sex toys were a passion of mine. About 2 ½ years ago, I decided to try and get a job here because I loved the people who work here (a lot of my friends were working here already), and I love to talk to people about their sex lives! Abby: Where were you before Babeland? Give us a summary of your career! Lauren: Oh, I’ve done a variety of things including having worked in a record store, a mosaic-making shop, a patisserie, and teaching guitar to middle school kids. On top of Babeland, I also co-host a monthly queer party called Queerespondence at Southpaw in Brooklyn, as well as volunteer at the Lesbian Herstory Archives. Abby: And when you're at Babeland, what do you do here? Lauren: I’m responsible for managing the inventory at Babeland SoHo, which basically means I count vibrators and dildos all day long! A day in the life includes carrying many boxes down to the basement, unpacking, and checking quantities. I love it because I’m the first person at the store to check out the coolest new toys we get in. Vixen is always my favorite vendor to unpack because they often have the Outlaw, which is the biggest dildo we have, packed on top of the box. The last time we got a box in, there were probably 10 huge dildos spilling right off the top! It’s moments like that where I’m reminded of how special working at Babeland is. Abby: What was your family’s reaction when you told them you work at Babeland? Lauren: My family loves it! I’m in the process of scheduling toy parties at two of my family members' houses! Abby: That's so great. Tell us about your favorite/most touching/life-changing moment with a customer, coworker, whoever. Lauren: I, like everyone else, have way too many to choose from! What I love about the community at Babeland is that we’re a big family. We all hang out and genuinely like each other. It’s so amazing because we all have really radical outlooks on life, and some people come into the store with a lot of armor or judgment about what we do. So it’s comforting to have such a wonderful support system of people who have your back. We really try to take care of each other. Abby: Definitely. I think that's one of the best things about working here. What’s something you’ve learned about yourself through your work at Babeland? Lauren: I've learned that I actually can speak in public! After being in the workshop program for a year and teaching various techniques and tips to over 30 people at a time, my public speaking skills have dramatically improved. Abby: And what's something you've learned about sex? Lauren: That there are a lot of people out there who have really limited or inaccurate knowledge about it, and how much I want to change that! Abby: And finally, everyone's favorite question: what are your favorite words for different anatomical parts? Lauren: Cunt, pussy, junk, bits, tits, titties – tee hee!ful support system of people who have your back. We really try to take care of each other. Abby: Definitely. I think that's one of the best things about working here. What’s something you’ve learned about yourself through your work at Babeland? Lauren: I've learned that I actually can speak in public! After being in the workshop program for a year and teaching various techniques and tips to over 30 people at a time, my public speaking skills have dramatically improved. Abby: And what's something you've learned about sex? Lauren: That there are a lot of people out there who have really limited or inaccurate knowledge about it, and how much I want to change that! Abby: And finally, everyone's favorite question: what are your favorite words for different anatomical parts? Lauren: Cunt, pussy, junk, bits, tits, titties – tee hee!

Behind the Scenes at Babeland: an interview with Taylor, Fulfillment Systems Manager

Tue, 12 Oct 2010 06:01:40 GMT

My dearest hope in life is that by now, you've taken a look at our Staff Picks section of Babeland.com. Trust me: it's just too good to pass up. Every month, six of our staff members pick one of their favorite toys, and we tell you all about it here. And in the spirit of letting you into our behind-the-scenes wonderland, I (Abby, your trusty Web Editor) interview one of our Staff Pick-ers every month. This month, learn a little more about Taylor, our Fulfillment Systems Manager! Taylor has worked out of three of our locations, and brings positivity, an amazing knowledge base, and hardcore workplace dance parties to everything he does. Read on! Abby: What first brought you to Babeland? Tell us the story of how you started working here. Taylor: I’ve been a fan of Babeland since I was a wee lad of *ahem* 18 in Plano, TX when it was still Toys in Babeland. A friend had seen an ad in Bitch magazine, and we visited babeland.com. I was blown away by the empowering honesty and hotness of the site. The way sex of all types -- be it straight, gay, lesbian, queer, trans, self, etc. -- was held as important and positive was a breath of fresh air. Since sex toys were illegal until 2008 in Texas, I was used to the roadside sex shops where “personal massagers” and “anatomically correct condom demonstration models” were sold. So seeing a website full of dildos, harnesses, and vibrators (oh my) being celebrated was so rad. I knew then that I wanted to work for Babeland. Abby: So how did you make it happen? Taylor: Fast-forward several years... I was living in Pittsburgh and wanting to move to NYC, so I took a leap and applied for a position. A couple weeks later, I was packed and on the road to New York to be a Sex Educator/Sales Associate at our Lower East Side store. Babeland quickly became my home and passion. I’m thankful that over three years later, I still get excited to come to work and be inspired by my coworkers and customers. Abby: And now, after those three years, what do you do here? Taylor: My positions at Babeland have varied quite a bit, and I have settled in as the Fulfillment Systems Manager at our Oakland warehouse. Ultimately, I help make sure that dildos and vibrators safely arrive throughout the land, and that folks who visit Babeland.com get top-notch customer service from beginning to end. Abby: So you're kind of the sex toy fairy. Taylor: I like to think so! Abby: What’s a day in the life of you at your job? Taylor: This job keeps me on my toes quite a bit, but it's mainly troubleshooting, problem solving, talking to customers, learning from my coworkers, keeping the laughter going, and cheesy music. Lots of cheesy music. Abby: What was your family’s reaction when you told them you work at Babeland? Taylor: I took my mom to Babeland Seattle to get her first vibrator years before I worked in the NYC stores, so she knew about Babeland and loved it. She was happy for me and would bring her friends into the store whenever she would visit New York. Then, my stepdad started sending me shopping lists via text message. That was a bit awkward. My family is generally intrigued and supportive of my job here. Abby: Tell us about your favorite/most touching/life-changing/whatever moment with a customer. Taylor: Oh so many! One of my favorite customer interactions was when two women came in who were probably in their late 60s. It was clear that they were in love and had been for quite some time, but they had this air of secrecy about it. One of them was celebrating her birthday the next day, and they had decided to have sex with each other to mark the occasion. I helped them pick out just the right dildo and harness combination along with some lube. As I was ringing them up, one of them leaned in and said, “It’s our first time, we’re so excited!” It turns out it wasn’t just their first time with each other... it was their first time having sex in their whole lives! Abby: That's amazing. Taylor: Yeah, it’s the milestone moments that I really get excited about. This was a big one! Abby: Tell us something you've learned through your work at Babeland. Taylor: This is going to sound so cheesy, but working at Babeland has really shown me that sex and sexuality is constantly evolving, not just for myself but for society. One of my favorite things about working here has been moments where things just click for people, and they see that things that may have been seen as taboo for themselves are really okay and normal. It’s especially great when that happens to me, and I get to push through some of my own hangups. Abby: Finally, my favorite question: what are your favorite words for different anatomical parts? (You choose which parts.) Taylor: Cockpit. Bonus hole. Hoohah. Vaginema. Cooter. Tatas. Tits. Chesticles. Jugs. favorite customer interactions was when two women came in who were probably in their late 60s. It was clear that they were in love and had been for quite some time, but they had this air of secrecy about it. One of them was celebrating her birthday the next day, and they had decided to have sex with each other to mark the occasion. I helped them pick out just the right dildo and harness combination along with some lube. As I was ringing them up, one of them leaned in and said, “It’s our first time, we’re so excited!” It turns out it wasn’t just their first time with each other... it was their first time having sex in their whole lives! Abby: That's amazing. Taylor: Yeah, it’s the milestone moments that I really get excited about. This was a big one! Abby: Tell us something you've learned through your work at Babeland. Taylor: This is going to sound so cheesy, but working at Babeland has really shown me that sex and sexuality is constantly evolving, not just for myself but for society. One of my favorite things about working here has been moments where things just click for people, and they see that things that may have been seen as taboo for themselves are really okay and normal. It’s especially great when that happens to me, and I get to push through some of my own hangups. Abby: Finally, my favorite question: what are your favorite words for different anatomical parts? (You choose which parts.) Taylor: Cockpit. Bonus hole. Hoohah. Vaginema. Cooter. Tatas. Tits. Chesticles. Jugs.

Pink October: an Interview with Young Survival Coalition

Wed, 06 Oct 2010 10:29:13 GMT

If you're familiar with Babeland's "Come for a Cause" philanthropy program, you'll know that every October (Pink October, actually), we donate a percentage of some toys' sales to an organization providing support or research around breast cancer. This year, we're thrilled to be working with the Young Survival Coalition, a group devoted to providing support and resources for those under 40 who've been diagnosed with breast cancer. Personally speaking: when I was diagnosed with cancer at 30, I felt pretty alone. I joined a cancer support group, but everyone else in the group was over 50; I looked for resources around cancer and sexuality for younger people, but they were near-impossible to come by. So as you might guess, I'm personally invested in making sure that Babeland provides solid information and support for folks whose sexuality has been affected by cancer. This partnership with YSC, which is dedicated exclusively to supporting young cancer survivors and patients, means a lot to me. And I was especially eager to interview Jenna Glazer, the Development Director of YSC, to get a feel for her thoughts about young survivors, cancer and sexuality, and the partnership between YSC and Babeland. Read on! Abby: Tell us about what the Young Survival Coalition does, and why it's unique. Jenna: YSC provides support, resources and outreach so that women feel connected, empowered and hopeful. YSC is unique because we are the premier global organization that focuses specifically on issues faced by young women, such as fertility, early menopause, later diagnosis and worse prognosis, and the overall sense of isolation felt by many young women diagnosed with breast cancer. When we were founded in 1998, there were no other organizations focusing specifically on young women. When I was first diagnosed I was sitting in an office with women who looked more like my mother or grandmother than a peer, and that felt horrible. It felt like I was the only young woman facing this disease and it was a very lonely experience. Abby: I know exactly what you mean. I wish I'd known about YSC when I was diagnosed -- I think it would've made a world of difference to know other young survivors. Why do you think YSC's partnership with Babeland works so well? Jenna: I think the partnership with Babeland makes so much sense because a young woman’s sexuality can be dramatically impacted by a breast cancer diagnosis, and treatments such as chemotherapy and surgery. Babeland approaches female sexuality in a fun, non-threatening way that engages an open dialogue about the issues that young cancer survivors face. Survivors spend a lot of time speaking to medical doctors, in a hospital or other clinic setting, and this takes the experience out of that setting and makes it more light-hearted and fun. Abby: Yes, fun! Fun tends to get forgotten when we talk about post-diagnosis or post-treatment sexuality. What are some of the other unique issues you see coming up for young women facing a breast cancer diagnosis? Jenna: Fertility problems, early menopause, challenges in career, challenges with caring for young children or possibly not being able to have children, being under-represented in medical research, dealing with long-term side effects of treatment, body image issues, dating… Abby: Clearly, the support you provide around these issues is invaluable. What kind of support do you provide for folks dealing with changing sexuality, following/during illness and treatment? Jenna: We have a ResourceLink guidebook which provides some resources for young women, and we have an online bulletin board at www.youngsurvival.org where women discuss this topic quite openly. We present local workshops on these issues, and host a session at our Annual Conference for Young Women Affected by Breast Cancer. We also have an “Ask the expert” online series where we have discussed this and other topics. Abby: And this is why the partnership between Babeland and YSC makes so much sense to me. Finally, what do you think are the areas of greatest need for young women facing diagnosis/illness/treatment? How do you think young survivors are overlooked/underserved? Jenna: I think that young women are overlooked and underserved simply because we are a small percentage of a huge number of women diagnosed with breast cancer every year. Each year, over 11,000 women under 40 are diagnosed with breast cancer in the U.S. That’s a huge number, but about 200,000 women of all ages are diagnosed every year. So, of course, we’re not as visible. It’s harder for researchers to really pull out data about young women because in terms of numbers, we’re a small percentage of a huge population. And young women need a place to come together to share common experiences and concerns. They need credible information and a sense of community. YSC works to provide this. Abby: And we're so glad you do. Thank you, from Babeland, for the work you do!rtility problems, early menopause, challenges in career, challenges with caring for young children or possibly not being able to have children, being under-represented in medical research, dealing with long-term side effects of treatment, body image issues, dating… Abby: Clearly, the support you provide around these issues is invaluable. What kind of support do you provide for folks dealing with changing sexuality, following/during illness and treatment? Jenna: We have a ResourceLink guidebook which provides some resources for young women, and we have an online bulletin board at www.youngsurvival.org where women discuss this topic quite openly. We present local workshops on these issues, and host a session at our Annual Conference for Young Women Affected by Breast Cancer. We also have an “Ask the expert” online series where we have discussed this and other topics. Abby: And this is why the partnership between Babeland and YSC makes so much sense to me. Finally, what do you think are the areas of greatest need for young women facing diagnosis/illness/treatment? How do you think young survivors are overlooked/underserved? Jenna: I think that young women are overlooked and underserved simply because we are a small percentage of a huge number of women diagnosed with breast cancer every year. Each year, over 11,000 women under 40 are diagnosed with breast cancer in the U.S. That’s a huge number, but about 200,000 women of all ages are diagnosed every year. So, of course, we’re not as visible. It’s harder for researchers to really pull out data about young women because in terms of numbers, we’re a small percentage of a huge population. And young women need a place to come together to share common experiences and concerns. They need credible information and a sense of community. YSC works to provide this. Abby: And we're so glad you do. Thank you, from Babeland, for the work you do!

Fierce Femmes! Johnny Blazes and The Femme Show in MA

Tue, 05 Oct 2010 02:30:20 GMT

If you live in New York City and had the chance to see The Femme Show perform at Bluestockings last month, then you had the opportunity to see an amazing array of performers with a diverse set of backgrounds and identifications. What struck me most was how inclusive the show was regarding gender and sexual orientation. It reminded me of the kind of inclusive environment we try to foster here at Babeland! So I asked Johnny Blazes, a performer from the show, to answer a few questions for us regarding femme identity and sex positivity in the show. Sarah: How did The Femme Show start, as a concept? Johnny: The Femme Show was started by Maggie Cee in 2007, to serve a dual purpose. First, it was meant to create visibility for Femmes in the Boston queer scene, and second, it was designed as a space for people to create work that did not find a home in traditional venues and concerts. Maggie was tired of showing up at Queer Night at our local bar and being repeatedly ignored or mistaken for a straight window-shopper, and she was sick of being told by straight choreographers and critics that her dance didn't fit into their concerts. Sarah: Describe the mission of the Femme Show. Johnny: The Femme Show exists to entertain and educate audiences about the vastness and variety of expression that femme identity can take. We make queer art for queer people, meaning that we often rely on stereotypes, trends and icons that have more cultural heft within queer communities; however, we strive to make our work accessible to as many different types of people and audiences as possible. Now that we have been doing this show for three years, our art has moved past a simple plea for visibility, and has come to address, in depth, the many intersections of our identities (e.g., sexuality, class, race, body size), and how these other identities and their intersections interact with our femininity. Sarah: What does "sex positive" mean to you? What aspects of the Femme Show do you consider sex-positive? Johnny: I take "sex-positive" to mean viewing and portraying all types of consensual sexuality as healthy expressions of our humanity. The Femme Show often includes performance pieces that explicitly explore a variety of sexual practices and inclinations. Particularly when we do smaller, reading-based shows, we will often include the smut writings of various members and guest artists. We have had content dealing with bondage, role play, spanking, gender-play and more. One of the particularly strong pieces in this arena comes from performer Mylène St. Pierre, whose monologue “How This Fat Femme Fucks” deals with the layers of being a kinky, poly, fat Femme - spanning the journey from being non-consensually eroticized to finding the perfect dildo to span the “grand distance” between two fatties. Sarah: What has the Femme Show meant for you, as a performer and an artist? Johnny: The Femme Show has been a home base for me, and a safe environment to take risks onstage. From the beginning, I knew I never had to able to define what genre my performance fell under, nor did I have to create work that would “sell” or make people love me. Instead, I could create work that inspired me, and that stretched me to use all of my talents. I took my first leap back into using spoken text as a performative tool with The Femme Show, and through the course of the past few years learned a lot about my own relationship with femininity and femme identity. Sarah: What do you look for when choosing performers for the Femme Show? We look for performers who make work that is intelligent, well-crafted and well-performed. We want to work with people who are interested in developing themselves as artists, who give and take constructive criticism well, who want to work on ensemble numbers, and who are willing to pitch in with the dirty work of booking, promotion and production. In essence, we want our cast to be a community! We aim to represent lots of different identities in our shows, soliciting artists of different sizes, races, genders, ages, abilities, classes, levels of education, and backgrounds. Sarah: Congratulations on finishing your recent tour! What's in the works for the next one? Johnny: Thank you! It was a wonderful tour! Over the past three years, we’ve played more than 100 shows in cities ranging from Portland, ME to Washington, DC to Chicago, IL, usually on small weekend trips, occasionally staying on the road for up to 9 days. We’ve done intimate readings in bookstores and enormous ballrooms at the True Colors Out Youth Conference (without the smut, of course!). We’ve also had our eyes on Montréal for a while… Want to see an ALL NEW show this weekend? Check out the debut nights: October 7 and 8, 8:00 PM Cambridge Family YMCA Theatre, 820 Massachusetts Avenue in Cambridge, MA. $11 advanced, $15 door And find out more about Johnny and the other performers of The Femme Show at their website.p with femininity and femme identity. Sarah: What do you look for when choosing performers for the Femme Show? We look for performers who make work that is intelligent, well-crafted and well-performed. We want to work with people who are interested in developing themselves as artists, who give and take constructive criticism well, who want to work on ensemble numbers, and who are willing to pitch in with the dirty work of booking, promotion and production. In essence, we want our cast to be a community! We aim to represent lots of different identities in our shows, soliciting artists of different sizes, races, genders, ages, abilities, classes, levels of education, and backgrounds. Sarah: Congratulations on finishing your recent tour! What's in the works for the next one? Johnny: Thank you! It was a wonderful tour! Over the past three years, we’ve played more than 100 shows in cities ranging from Portland, ME to Washington, DC to Chicago, IL, usually on small weekend trips, occasionally staying on the road for up to 9 days. We’ve done intimate readings in bookstores and enormous ballrooms at the True Colors Out Youth Conference (without the smut, of course!). We’ve also had our eyes on Montréal for a while… Want to see an ALL NEW show this weekend? Check out the debut nights: October 7 and 8, 8:00 PM Cambridge Family YMCA Theatre, 820 Massachusetts Avenue in Cambridge, MA. $11 advanced, $15 door And find out more about Johnny and the other performers of The Femme Show at their website.

Behind the scenes at Babeland: an interview with Darlinda, NYC Premier Services Coordinator

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 17:51:34 GMT

I have a weakness for bookstores. And more than that, I have a weakness for staff picks at bookstores. I can head into a bookstore completely determined to buy only what I've set out to find, but those staff picks get me every single time. I trust the store's employees to know what's up. And you know what? They've rarely, if ever, led me astray. If you're anything like me, you'll love our Staff Picks section of babeland.com. Every month, six of our staff members pick one of their favorite toys, and we tell you all about it here. And in the spirit of letting you into our behind-the-scenes wonderland, I (Abby, your trusty Web Editor) interview one of our Staff Pick-ers every month. This month, learn a little more about Darlinda, our NYC Premier Services Coordinator (not to mention Blow Job Queen, as dubbed by blisstree.com)! Having personally worked with Darlinda for the last six years, I can vouch for her passionate sex-positivity, total commitment to spreading a message of self-love, dynamic teaching style, and all-around hilarity. Read on! Abby: What first brought you to Babeland? Tell us the story of how you started working here. Darlinda: When I first moved to NYC from California, I came to Babeland on the Lower East Side to buy my first sex toy. Then I started performing Burlesque. I met a Babeland staff member at one my shows. We started talking about sexuality and she said, “You’d be a perfect fit at Babeland, but we’re not hiring right now!" Abby: Oh no! Darlinda: Yes! But then something opened up, they called me for an interview, and I went. I was a Sex Educator/Sales Associate for a few years, then worked in marketing a bit, and six years after that interview, I’m the Premier Service Coordinator! Abby: What does "Premier Services Coordinator" mean, exactly? What do you do here? Darlinda: I organize all the private parties (private workshops, Babeland Sex Toy Parties and any off-site workshops that we offer to non-profits or universities). I also coordinate the donations that we give out to local non-profits, social service organizations, and arts organizations. When you're at an awesome event in New York and you see a Babeland toy being raffled, I'm the one who got it there! Abby: What’s a day in the life of you at your job? Darlinda: A day in the office is pretty normal; I talk on the phone with potential party hosts, talk to them about their options for private events, gauge their needs and wants... then, I pack the suitcases full of awesome toys so that our staff can bring them out into the world for our toy parties. I also pack bags full of goodies for donations (see above)! And on the weekends -- my favorite time -- I get to teach some private workshops, which I love. So that can mean going to the homes of wonderful women where I get to teach them all about sex! I love that through these workshops, I get to improve the sex lives of hundreds of women. Whether they start off shy or ready to spill all their secrets, it's always satisfying to see people leave a workshop full of ideas for trying new things sexually. Abby: What was your family’s reaction when you told them you work at Babeland? Darlinda: My parents are really supportive! I'm lucky. Abby: Tell us about your favorite/most touching/life-changing/whatever moment(s) with a customer. Darlinda: Wow -- there are so many! One time, I was teaching a class at a bachelorette party and the bride was a virgin, so I got to teach her about using lube. If only someone had taught me about lube when I lost my virginity, it would have been a lot more pleasurable! I liked knowing that her first time would run a lot smoother than most people's do; lube is one of those things many people think they shouldn't need, but if you can make things more slippery and pleasurable, why wouldn't you? Lube is a lifesaver (or at least a pleasure-saver), and I love helping people discover that. Another time, I was teaching a Moregasm workshop at Yale's Sex Week -- there were over 500 attendees, and the lecture hall was packed! The Yale marching band came in and played Lady GaGa songs... one student deep-throated a banana during a condom demonstration I led... the whole thing was awesome, and it was so great to see students getting excited about safer sex, pleasing their partners, and self-pleasure. It’s such a rush knowing that people will go home with more knowledge about sex, and the more you know, the better your sex life can become. Abby: What’s something you’ve learned about yourself through your work at Babeland? Darlinda: Wow, I’ve learned so much! Six years is a long time to be thinking and talking about sex practically every day. Most important of all, I’ve learned to love myself, and I’ve learned that each personal sexual journey is wonderful in its own way, with lots of unique experiences and changes. Abby: And what’s something you’ve learned about sex through your work at Babeland? Darlinda: I could write a book if I wrote down everything I've learned about sex since I started working here. For one thing, I used to hate giving blow jobs. Then, as part of a staff training, I watched a lesbian porn that showed me how powerful and fun blow jobs could be on a dildo. So I applied that same technique and enthusiasm to a penis, and it became one of my favorite things to do! Abby: Well, that's lucky for your partners! And finally, my favorite question: what are your favorite words for different anatomical parts? (You choose which parts.) Darlinda: For the entire vulva region, I love "vajajay," "nature's coin purse," "pussy," and -- for those vulva-havers who are ladies -- "lady parts."a bachelorette party and the bride was a virgin, so I got to teach her about using lube. If only someone had taught me about lube when I lost my virginity, it would have been a lot more pleasurable! I liked knowing that her first time would run a lot smoother than most people's do; lube is one of those things many people think they shouldn't need, but if you can make things more slippery and pleasurable, why wouldn't you? Lube is a lifesaver (or at least a pleasure-saver), and I love helping people discover that. Another time, I was teaching a Moregasm workshop at Yale's Sex Week -- there were over 500 attendees, and the lecture hall was packed! The Yale marching band came in and played Lady GaGa songs... one student deep-throated a banana during a condom demonstration I led... the whole thing was awesome, and it was so great to see students getting excited about safer sex, pleasing their partners, and self-pleasure. It’s such a rush knowing that people will go home with more knowledge about sex, and the more you know, the better your sex life can become. Abby: What’s something you’ve learned about yourself through your work at Babeland? Darlinda: Wow, I’ve learned so much! Six years is a long time to be thinking and talking about sex practically every day. Most important of all, I’ve learned to love myself, and I’ve learned that each personal sexual journey is wonderful in its own way, with lots of unique experiences and changes. Abby: And what’s something you’ve learned about sex through your work at Babeland? Darlinda: I could write a book if I wrote down everything I've learned about sex since I started working here. For one thing, I used to hate giving blow jobs. Then, as part of a staff training, I watched a lesbian porn that showed me how powerful and fun blow jobs could be on a dildo. So I applied that same technique and enthusiasm to a penis, and it became one of my favorite things to do! Abby: Well, that's lucky for your partners! And finally, my favorite question: what are your favorite words for different anatomical parts? (You choose which parts.) Darlinda: For the entire vulva region, I love "vajajay," "nature's coin purse," "pussy," and -- for those vulva-havers who are ladies -- "lady parts."

Behind the Scenes at Babeland: an interview with DeeArah, Sex Educator/Sales Associate

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 17:59:35 GMT

By now, I hope, you're well-acquainted with our Staff Picks page. Every month, six of our staff members pick one of their favorite toys, and we tell you all about it here. I love this section -- not only does it provide the kind of insider information that I love to get when I'm shopping, but we get to share the fullness of our idealistic, hard-working, committed-to-changing-the-world-through-sex-toys selves with you! And in the spirit of letting you into our behind-the-scenes wonderland, I (Abby, your trusty Web Editor) am interviewing one of our Staff Pick-ers every month. It's a treat for me, too, as I get to learn more about my coworkers from all over the country! This month, we’ve got DeeArah, a Sex Educator/Sales Associate at our thriving SoHo store location. DeeArah is artistic, thoughtful, articulate, and an all-around wonderful addition to our sex education team. I'm pretty sure you'll agree... read on! Abby: What first brought you to Babeland? Tell us the story of how you started working here. DeeArah: Timing is everything, and the opportunity to work at Babeland manifested at a fantastic time. Back in August of 2009, I finally claimed the entrepreneur in me in an active way. So, I started exploring ways I could continue to earn income while staying true to myself and true to my passions. By this time, I had claimed my exploratory sexual self and lifestyle... in truth, and for a while now, sex, orgasm, connection has kept me grounded in a lot of ways. Ecstatic experiences always bring me back to my body. Dance is this for me too... there's something about being in the amazing now of your sensual self! I applied to work as a Sex Educator at Babeland because the flexible schedule allows me to devote quality time to my start-up, I cherish sex-positive environments, and I knew that I would enjoy working somewhere I could be myself unapologetically. Abby: What do you do here? What’s a day in the life of you at your job? DeeArah: I'm a Sex Educator/Sales Associate -- we give revolutionary community service! And, we sell tools that folks can have fun, explore, and learn about themselves with. In an average day, I help people make more informed and confident choices as they navigate through their sexuality. Our shop talk is lube, harnesses, safer sex, anal play, dildo sizes, silicone, etc. I enjoy encouraging people to feel more at ease in Babeland and with themselves. I smile here. Abby: Me too. We're so lucky to have jobs that make us smile. What was your parents’/family’s reaction when you told them you work at Babeland? DeeArah: More and more, my family is not surprised when I pull back another layer of who I am or what I'm doing. They still had questions and I feel that there is a permanent question mark floating around what it is I actually do at Babeland! They almost just say, "that's Dee." But I think that is primarily because we don't have many (or in most cases, any) spaces like this in the South, which is I where I was born and raised. There's no real point of reference for them. I look forward to their visits soon so that they can experience it for themselves. Abby: Tell us about your favorite moment(s) with a customer. DeeArah: I have two, at least! One: I was helping a customer find a vibrator to send to his seventy-something year-old mother in the Domincan Republic... he was on the phone with her, taking her order, basically, in detail. Size, material, shape, settings, everything. They were open and candid with each other in a way that was so inspiring. Wonderful in many ways. Second, there was a time that a couple came into the store and expressed concern because the condoms they were using were breaking too often. One of them geniuinely thought that it was because the condom sizes were too small, but they had never considered lube. They seemed to lighten up all around when I walked them through the benefits of lube and the different types and features. Yay, lube! And, they have an opportunity to be safer (and more comfortable) in their intimacy with each other. Abby: What’s something you’ve learned, through your work at Babeland, about yourself? DeeArah: I have a lot to learn about sex and relationships, but I have just as much to share. Abby: And about sex? DeeArah: It is truly still a mystery that I could analyze infinitely. It is the consistently uncommon common ground. Abby: And finally, my favorite question: what are your favorite words for different anatomical parts? (You choose which parts.) DeeArah: "Sunshine" = vagina, vulva, clitoris... that whole erogeneous zone., in detail. Size, material, shape, settings, everything. They were open and candid with each other in a way that was so inspiring. Wonderful in many ways. Second, there was a time that a couple came into the store and expressed concern because the condoms they were using were breaking too often. One of them geniuinely thought that it was because the condom sizes were too small, but they had never considered lube. They seemed to lighten up all around when I walked them through the benefits of lube and the different types and features. Yay, lube! And, they have an opportunity to be safer (and more comfortable) in their intimacy with each other. Abby: What’s something you’ve learned, through your work at Babeland, about yourself? DeeArah: I have a lot to learn about sex and relationships, but I have just as much to share. Abby: And about sex? DeeArah: It is truly still a mystery that I could analyze infinitely. It is the consistently uncommon common ground. Abby: And finally, my favorite question: what are your favorite words for different anatomical parts? (You choose which parts.) DeeArah: "Sunshine" = vagina, vulva, clitoris... that whole erogeneous zone.

Behind the scenes at Babeland: an interview with Greta, Web Marketing Manager

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 11:00:18 GMT

Have you seen our Staff Picks page? I just love it. Every month, six of our staff members pick one of their favorite toys, and we tell you all about it here. I know that when I go shopping at a bookstore, for example, I always gravitate to the "staff picks" area -- the staff know their inventory best, so their recommendations mean a lot to me. And in the spirit of letting you into our behind-the-scenes wonderland, I (Abby, your trusty Web Editor) am interviewing one of our Staff Pick-ers every month. You'll get to know what we do, where we come from, our favorite slang terms for genitalia... you know, the really important things. This month, we've got Greta, our Web Marketing Manager! And let me tell you, Greta's really got the goods: she's wicked smart, delightful to be around, and works harder than any one person really should. Read on! Abby: What first brought you to Babeland? Tell us the story of how you started working here. Greta: I’ve been a fan of Babeland for many years, and as soon as I saw the job post, I knew it was exactly what I wanted to be doing at exactly the company I wanted to be working for. I put all of my energy into getting an interview. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait too long (I don’t think I could have stood the suspense!), and I was hired after a series of intense interviews. During the interviews, I saw how dedicated everyone was, and it solidified my desire to work here. When I walked in on my first day and the (totally wonderful) Warehouse Manager said “Welcome home,” I couldn’t imagine being anyplace better, or anyplace else. Abby: Where were you before you came to Babeland? Give us a glimpse into your career path. Greta: It's been all over the place! I started with the lofty aspiration of being a college professor, writing tomes on Victorian literature. But as soon as I taught my first class, I knew I needed to get the heck out of academia, and fast. I floated around the corporate world for a while, but fitting my queer, punk ideals into the corporate world proved to be a big challenge. I found many happy, satisfying years as a holistic chef, then moved to Nashville as a burlesque queen, while helping to make and sell beautiful rhinestone garments at a very cool business. This job reminded me of how much I love the organization and strategy of business, and it set me on the path back to professional marketing -- I could combine the creative, strategic, and analytic elements of my personality, and do work for a business I cared about. I set out with this commitment, and here I am. Abby: And now that's you're here, what do you do? Take us through a typical day at work. Greta: I have a very fun job as Babeland’s Web Marketing Manager; it's the perfect balance of creative and analytical. A typical day involves brainstorming new promotional and content ideas, strategizing their execution, organizing and sending requests, communicating what we're doing, and analyzing the results. I’m involved and invested in projects from conception, to execution, through analysis –- it keeps me very passionate and motivated. I also have the good fortune of working with so many talented people during every step of the process. Everyone here is so dedicated to producing great work; it really makes my job a pleasure. Abby: Any life-changing moments with those dedicated coworkers, or with customers, that you'd like to share? Greta: My coworkers are talented and diverse; I’ve also had the pleasure of working closely with our amazing affiliate community, and I’ve met a lot of customers through our Facebook and Twitter accounts. I feel lucky to have some pretty mind-blowing and enlightening moments on a regular basis. Honestly, rather than identifying a single incident, I just have to say how deeply the experience of being a part of Babeland has struck me. This is a lot more than just a job -- it’s my passion, my mission and my extended family. I care deeply about my coworkers and the work we do. And when our customers take the time to reach out and leave a comment or start a conversation, it brings our work full circle. Abby: What's something you've learned about yourself while working here? Greta: While I’ve had a longtime commitment to living a sex-positive life and promoting sex-positive education, it’s been a revelation to be immersed in such a vital sex-positive community. It keeps me inspired and excited to keep pushing boundaries, experimenting and experiencing. Abby: And something you've learned about sex? Greta: Babeland has given me a great education on sex, and sex toys as a healing tool. We recently got a line of vibes, Oasis, designed to improve vaginal elasticity for women experiencing painful penetration, menopause, chemotherapy or radiation. It’s easy to think of all the ways sex feels wonderful, but it’s critical to talk about those times when it's not wonderful, so we don’t feel alone or helpless when experiencing them. Everyone has a right to pleasure, and I love that Babeland works hard to offer information, advice and toys to help everyone experience the pleasure they deserve. Abby: And finally, the best question of all: what are your favorite slang terms for genitalia? Greta: I am in love with the wide world of anatomical euphemisms, and I get very excited when I come across ones I’ve never heard before. My old standbys are still pussy, cock and boobs and ass –- they all feel velvety-smooth on my tongue, and are equally as erotic when uttered in a whisper, a growl, or a scream.strong>Greta: My coworkers are talented and diverse; I’ve also had the pleasure of working closely with our amazing affiliate community, and I’ve met a lot of customers through our Facebook and Twitter accounts. I feel lucky to have some pretty mind-blowing and enlightening moments on a regular basis. Honestly, rather than identifying a single incident, I just have to say how deeply the experience of being a part of Babeland has struck me. This is a lot more than just a job -- it’s my passion, my mission and my extended family. I care deeply about my coworkers and the work we do. And when our customers take the time to reach out and leave a comment or start a conversation, it brings our work full circle. Abby: What's something you've learned about yourself while working here? Greta: While I’ve had a longtime commitment to living a sex-positive life and promoting sex-positive education, it’s been a revelation to be immersed in such a vital sex-positive community. It keeps me inspired and excited to keep pushing boundaries, experimenting and experiencing. Abby: And something you've learned about sex? Greta: Babeland has given me a great education on sex, and sex toys as a healing tool. We recently got a line of vibes, Oasis, designed to improve vaginal elasticity for women experiencing painful penetration, menopause, chemotherapy or radiation. It’s easy to think of all the ways sex feels wonderful, but it’s critical to talk about those times when it's not wonderful, so we don’t feel alone or helpless when experiencing them. Everyone has a right to pleasure, and I love that Babeland works hard to offer information, advice and toys to help everyone experience the pleasure they deserve. Abby: And finally, the best question of all: what are your favorite slang terms for genitalia? Greta: I am in love with the wide world of anatomical euphemisms, and I get very excited when I come across ones I’ve never heard before. My old standbys are still pussy, cock and boobs and ass –- they all feel velvety-smooth on my tongue, and are equally as erotic when uttered in a whisper, a growl, or a scream.