Babe of the Month

Babe of the Month: Dr. Ruthie

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 01:00:13 GMT

I am proud to announce that Dr. Ruthie, one of our favorite affiliate bloggers and avid online reviewer of Babeland's toys, is our first Babe of the Month for 2011! Dr. Ruthie took the time to sit down with me and do a little sex shop talk about pleasure, relationships and a mutual favorite topic - LUBE! Here's what Dr. Ruthie had to say: Greta: We are really happy to have you reviewing toys for Babeland – what’s on your sex toy wish list? Dr. Ruthie: Thank you so much! It’s wonderful to be aligned with a company that shares my passion for sex-positive, pleasure-positive intimacy and information for all. And since I began reviewing for Babeland, my sex toy collection has grown in such delightful ways! Lately, I’ve had my eye on a couple of toy lines that are releasing some very posh, creative items. FunFactory’s Cobra Libre for men looks very fun, as does Lelo’s new line of sensual bondage items. Although they’re not as new to the market, I’ve also been batting my eyelashes at those smooth, shiny metal toys by NJoy and the flowing designs of the lovely wooden Fling from NobEssence. Greta: Tell us about what inspired you to peruse a career in relationship coaching and sex-ed? Dr. Ruthie: Being a sexuality educator and coach is a challenging and unusual career choice, so that’s a really good question. It takes a certain type of background and set of life experiences to be comfortable with sexual well-being in a global way, and at the same time have the skills and training in relational issues to turn that into a career like mine. We are all surrounded by a sex-negative culture, both in the messages we receive each day and in the stark silence around topics essential to our sensual and intimate growth. Personally and professionally, I strive to personify my dedication to living a life of contagious pleasure and intimacy. I began training as a family therapist (and I am proud to teach student-therapists today) with a specialization in survivors of intimate partner violence. An understanding and respect for healthy, happy sexual intimacy for all genders is essential within that line of work, whether I’m focused on prevention, intervention or recovery. It didn’t take me long to realize that there is a glaring need for highly trained and skilled experts on intimacy and sexual well-being, both for one-on-one work as well as macro systemic change. So, I started pursuing advanced training anywhere I could find it. At the same time, I was seeing more and more clients who were seeking the type of professional that I was becoming. This led me to some fantastic and unique opportunities, including an original sex-positive workshop series for women living in shelters and women’s classes in the deep South. But I couldn’t let it stop there, so I began offering my services nationally through conference presentations, virtual office appointments, online and live workshops, and my blog! After moving to Washington, DC, I connected with the vibrant sex-positive community here and the opportunities continue to develop. Greta: What are your specializations? Dr. Ruthie: Inspiring my clients and workshop attendees to have a little fun when they get home! I hear that’s true, but that’s probably not the answer you were looking for. Over the years, I’ve expanded from survivors of damaging romantic relationships to those who seek to reclaim their sexuality after any form of sexual or family violence. It’s essential to my approach that we focus on solving problems by creating balance, finding ways to safely explore ourselves and relationships, and emphasizing our tremendous strengths. In other words, moving toward a better future can help address past wounds. From there, it was a natural transition to begin training for work with those who are reclaiming (or now discovering) their sexuality after an illness, injury or other bodily change. However, I’m proud to speak with people with a host of goals, including simply prioritizing their relationships with partners or themselves! No matter what, you can be sure I’m going to bring up the topic of sex toys and high quality lube. After all, I am a self-confessed lube snob! Greta: You are based in the DC area, but can you tell us a little bit about your virtual workshops and coaching? Dr. Ruthie: Technology can be so exciting when it allows us to more easily connect with each other! As I mentioned earlier, I’m a graduate faculty member in a program that trains relational therapists. What I didn’t note was that I actually teach online, through a webcam! When I made the switch from traditional teaching to online I was surprised by the close connections that can be made that way. Of course, some other countries are already comfortable with online meetings for everything from business matters to non-urgent medical appointments. So, I should have expected it, but I was used to the traditional office and classroom setting so it was a new experience for me. I began to wonder if it could work as well for workshops and coaching sessions. And lo and behold, it was a natural fit! For many people, it’s much more comfortable to be in your own room, yet still able to see each other and speak naturally. Others enjoy not having to worry about a commute, the lack of professionals in their area, or even childcare. Certainly there are folks who will always prefer the traditional office setting, but this has been a great way to expand to new areas and offer much-needed services and community anywhere with a phone or an internet connection! Greta: Who are your favorite clients or workshop participants? Dr. Ruthie: Working in this area, I meet so many great people. To make it even better, we’re all there to build something inspiring and uplifting together. I tend to think of two main groups when I think of my clients. First we have the thrill-seekers, who are looking for more explicit information and wild ideas but still appreciate a focus on well-being and relational quality. The other group is the outwardly conservative yet inwardly daring. These are the folks that appreciate new techniques and ideas, but absolutely require a balanced, appreciative and caring approach. I have to say that I love both groups and need them each for balance, but the latter group has a special place in my heart. For me, sex is about so many things: play, body language, intimacy, exploration, connection, celebration, reclaiming, communication, and all sorts of pleasure. The boldest new sex technique from Hollywood can be very exciting, but without those richer underpinnings, it would do about as much good as those cheesy tips that sell glossy magazines. Greta: What inspired you to start reviewing toys on your blog? Dr. Ruthie: Toys are just so darned fun! There is no need to stop playing, exploring and imagining just because we’re grown up now. Anything that encourages you to discover and communicate with a smile on your face and a wiggle in your toes is worthwhile. Plus, many of these products give us tools for finding or sharing our orgasms, especially if we’ve struggled with that in the past or are adjusting to changes in our bodies or lives. If I hold up an anatomical line drawing and start pointing and talking, I’m suddenly that boring sex ed teacher from high school. However, when I have a vibrator in my hand and an attractive velvet and satin vulva-model, eyebrows raise and ears open. Now it’s applied, now the information makes sense and is clearly useful. Plus, I’m a big advocate for the value of pleasure, whether you’re single or in a relationship. And what promotes pressure-free, happy, healthy, readily available pleasure for people of all genders like a sex toy and some good lube? I swear, I have found my perfect job. Greta: Are there any toys you’re really excited about? Dr. Ruthie: Yes! I’m absolutely in love with the Tenga line (especially the Tenga Flip) for the special penis in your life, the G-Ki for its ability to hit the g-spot like a pro, Babelicious flavored lubes, and the Babeland massage candles.The Flip is so easy to clean, simple to lubricate, and by every report, it feels amazing. I’m so glad that it has come to the market! As for the G-Ki, I’ve met many women who were able to find and make the most of their G-Spots with this beauty. In fact, I know of several women who discovered that they could squirt thanks to the G-Ki. The Babelicious flavored lubes make me so happy because they not only smell and taste great, but they actually are healthy and high quality lubes. Most of the flavored lubes on the market are loaded with cheap glycerine, sugar and even honey, none of which belong in a vulva. Not Babelicious! Plus, the flavors are very creative. And who doesn’t love a good massage candle? Warm wax poured over waiting skin, a sensual massage, and an arousing scent filling the room - sounds like the perfect combination to me. Greta: We love your video reviews – what prompted you to start reviewing in that format? What has been you most challenging video review? Dr. Ruthie: Thank you so much! They’ve been a lot of fun. I began doing video reviews because I wanted those with mobility or other special concerns to be able to really see and hear the product for themselves. While people who live near a good sex boutique can go and see the products on display, most of us aren’t that lucky. I quickly discovered that this was also an easier way to encourage sex-positive dialogue and information, too. People often forward my videos to each other, or drop me an email with their thoughts. Either way, it’s become a fun way to advocate for pleasure, accessibility, and pleasure all at the same time! Plus, folks get a better of idea of who I am and what I’m like, too. Greta: What new discovery/information/sex tip have you discovered recently and are excited to share with our Babeland Blog readers? Dr. Ruthie: I’m a proud lube snob. While sexual health professionals have been touting the value of good lubes for some time, this is still new information to many people. A good, slick, glycerine and paraben-free lube is so important to have in your bag and on your bedside table. Your body deserves far better than the junk that passes for lube at drug and department stores! While there is a lot of talk about performance anxiety for men (or anyone with a penis) who are the giving side of penetration, all genders on the receiving side can experience the same anxiety! Privacy, comfort, communication, and the ready availability of good lube can go along way to ease that. It can also make exploration of all of those other kinds of sex (the kinds that don’t require thrusty penises) so much more fun, leisurely, and pleasurable. I keep bottles of several kinds at home for various purposes and times of the month, plus some sample packets in my purse! Whether or not you end up needing it, it’s something you always want to have handy. Greta: Can you give us a hint about the next project you're planning? Dr. Ruthie: Just a little one! I'm putting together a very special series of online workshops and coaching for women who are interested in becoming more orgasmic with themselves and possibly with partners. This will be a limited group that meets online regularly, so that we can grow as a supportive community of sex-positive women exploring together. I expect to begin adding participants a little later this year, so we can start the new year on an inspired and exciting note! While I am not yet advertising this group, if anyone is interested in learning more they are encouraged to contact me as I expect it to fill very quickly. Greta: What do you enjoy most about bringing sex-positive information to people? Dr. Ruthie: Oh my goodness, that is a big question! I firmly and unconditionally believe that every one of us deserves an intimate, caring, healthy and pleasurable relationship with our bodies and with our partners, no matter what has happened in our lives. That’s why I do this. Our sexuality is the most intimate form of body language that we have with each other and with ourselves, and many of us need a little help with improving (or reestablishing) those lines of communication. When I meet someone who has seen my videos, been to a workshop, or is working with me one-on-one, and they have that sparkle in their eyes while they whisper, “Remember what we talked about? It worked!” there are just no words to describe how I feel. Whether it opened an important conversation, led to an orgasm, or inspired self-discovery and joy, it’s a perfect moment. I know that I’m bringing something rare and important to others as well as myself and I feel energized to continue working in the vein of sex-positive community building and advocacy. Greta: Where can readers find you online? Dr. Ruthie: My blog and professional site are located at www.ExploringIntimacy.com, and my YouTube Channel is http://www.youtube.com/user/ExploringIntimacy. I'm also on Twitter and on Facebook. Better yet, send me an email at ExploringIntimacy@gmail.com or give me a ring at (301) 979-9910!ver the years, I’ve expanded from survivors of damaging romantic relationships to those who seek to reclaim their sexuality after any form of sexual or family violence. It’s essential to my approach that we focus on solving problems by creating balance, finding ways to safely explore ourselves and relationships, and emphasizing our tremendous strengths. In other words, moving toward a better future can help address past wounds. From there, it was a natural transition to begin training for work with those who are reclaiming (or now discovering) their sexuality after an illness, injury or other bodily change. However, I’m proud to speak with people with a host of goals, including simply prioritizing their relationships with partners or themselves! No matter what, you can be sure I’m going to bring up the topic of sex toys and high quality lube. After all, I am a self-confessed lube snob! Greta: You are based in the DC area, but can you tell us a little bit about your virtual workshops and coaching? Dr. Ruthie: Technology can be so exciting when it allows us to more easily connect with each other! As I mentioned earlier, I’m a graduate faculty member in a program that trains relational therapists. What I didn’t note was that I actually teach online, through a webcam! When I made the switch from traditional teaching to online I was surprised by the close connections that can be made that way. Of course, some other countries are already comfortable with online meetings for everything from business matters to non-urgent medical appointments. So, I should have expected it, but I was used to the traditional office and classroom setting so it was a new experience for me. I began to wonder if it could work as well for workshops and coaching sessions. And lo and behold, it was a natural fit! For many people, it’s much more comfortable to be in your own room, yet still able to see each other and speak naturally. Others enjoy not having to worry about a commute, the lack of professionals in their area, or even childcare. Certainly there are folks who will always prefer the traditional office setting, but this has been a great way to expand to new areas and offer much-needed services and community anywhere with a phone or an internet connection! Greta: Who are your favorite clients or workshop participants? Dr. Ruthie: Working in this area, I meet so many great people. To make it even better, we’re all there to build something inspiring and uplifting together. I tend to think of two main groups when I think of my clients. First we have the thrill-seekers, who are looking for more explicit information and wild ideas but still appreciate a focus on well-being and relational quality. The other group is the outwardly conservative yet inwardly daring. These are the folks that appreciate new techniques and ideas, but absolutely require a balanced, appreciative and caring approach. I have to say that I love both groups and need them each for balance, but the latter group has a special place in my heart. For me, sex is about so many things: play, body language, intimacy, exploration, connection, celebration, reclaiming, communication, and all sorts of pleasure. The boldest new sex technique from Hollywood can be very exciting, but without those richer underpinnings, it would do about as much good as those cheesy tips that sell glossy magazines. Greta: What inspired you to start reviewing toys on your blog? Dr. Ruthie: Toys are just so darned fun! There is no need to stop playing, exploring and imagining just because we’re grown up now. Anything that encourages you to discover and communicate with a smile on your face and a wiggle in your toes is worthwhile. Plus, many of these products give us tools for finding or sharing our orgasms, especially if we’ve struggled with that in the past or are adjusting to changes in our bodies or lives. If I hold up an anatomical line drawing and start pointing and talking, I’m suddenly that boring sex ed teacher from high school. However, when I have a vibrator in my hand and an attractive velvet and satin vulva-model, eyebrows raise and ears open. Now it’s applied, now the information makes sense and is clearly useful. Plus, I’m a big advocate for the value of pleasure, whether you’re single or in a relationship. And what promotes pressure-free, happy, healthy, readily available pleasure for people of all genders like a sex toy and some good lube? I swear, I have found my perfect job. Greta: Are there any toys you’re really excited about? Dr. Ruthie: Yes! I’m absolutely in love with the Tenga line (especially the Tenga Flip) for the special penis in your life, the G-Ki for its ability to hit the g-spot like a pro, Babelicious flavored lubes, and the Babeland massage candles.The Flip is so easy to clean, simple to lubricate, and by every report, it feels amazing. I’m so glad that it has come to the market! As for the G-Ki, I’ve met many women who were able to find and make the most of their G-Spots with this beauty. In fact, I know of several women who discovered that they could squirt thanks to the G-Ki. The Babelicious flavored lubes make me so happy because they not only smell and taste great, but they actually are healthy and high quality lubes. Most of the flavored lubes on the market are loaded with cheap glycerine, sugar and even honey, none of which belong in a vulva. Not Babelicious! Plus, the flavors are very creative. And who doesn’t love a good massage candle? Warm wax poured over waiting skin, a sensual massage, and an arousing scent filling the room - sounds like the perfect combination to me. Greta: We love your video reviews – what prompted you to start reviewing in that format? What has been you most challenging video review? Dr. Ruthie: Thank you so much! They’ve been a lot of fun. I began doing video reviews because I wanted those with mobility or other special concerns to be able to really see and hear the product for themselves. While people who live near a good sex boutique can go and see the products on display, most of us aren’t that lucky. I quickly discovered that this was also an easier way to encourage sex-positive dialogue and information, too. People often forward my videos to each other, or drop me an email with their thoughts. Either way, it’s become a fun way to advocate for pleasure, accessibility, and pleasure all at the same time! Plus, folks get a better of idea of who I am and what I’m like, too. Greta: What new discovery/information/sex tip have you discovered recently and are excited to share with our Babeland Blog readers? Dr. Ruthie: I’m a proud lube snob. While sexual health professionals have been touting the value of good lubes for some time, this is still new information to many people. A good, slick, glycerine and paraben-free lube is so important to have in your bag and on your bedside table. Your body deserves far better than the junk that passes for lube at drug and department stores! While there is a lot of talk about performance anxiety for men (or anyone with a penis) who are the giving side of penetration, all genders on the receiving side can experience the same anxiety! Privacy, comfort, communication, and the ready availability of good lube can go along way to ease that. It can also make exploration of all of those other kinds of sex (the kinds that don’t require thrusty penises) so much more fun, leisurely, and pleasurable. I keep bottles of several kinds at home for various purposes and times of the month, plus some sample packets in my purse! Whether or not you end up needing it, it’s something you always want to have handy. Greta: Can you give us a hint about the next project you're planning? Dr. Ruthie: Just a little one! I'm putting together a very special series of online workshops and coaching for women who are interested in becoming more orgasmic with themselves and possibly with partners. This will be a limited group that meets online regularly, so that we can grow as a supportive community of sex-positive women exploring together. I expect to begin adding participants a little later this year, so we can start the new year on an inspired and exciting note! While I am not yet advertising this group, if anyone is interested in learning more they are encouraged to contact me as I expect it to fill very quickly. Greta: What do you enjoy most about bringing sex-positive information to people? Dr. Ruthie: Oh my goodness, that is a big question! I firmly and unconditionally believe that every one of us deserves an intimate, caring, healthy and pleasurable relationship with our bodies and with our partners, no matter what has happened in our lives. That’s why I do this. Our sexuality is the most intimate form of body language that we have with each other and with ourselves, and many of us need a little help with improving (or reestablishing) those lines of communication. When I meet someone who has seen my videos, been to a workshop, or is working with me one-on-one, and they have that sparkle in their eyes while they whisper, “Remember what we talked about? It worked!” there are just no words to describe how I feel. Whether it opened an important conversation, led to an orgasm, or inspired self-discovery and joy, it’s a perfect moment. I know that I’m bringing something rare and important to others as well as myself and I feel energized to continue working in the vein of sex-positive community building and advocacy. Greta: Where can readers find you online? Dr. Ruthie: My blog and professional site are located at www.ExploringIntimacy.com, and my YouTube Channel is http://www.youtube.com/user/ExploringIntimacy. I'm also on Twitter and on Facebook. Better yet, send me an email at ExploringIntimacy@gmail.com or give me a ring at (301) 979-9910!

Babe of the Month: Violet Blue!

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 04:00:45 GMT

I am ecstatic to announce that Violet Blue is Babeland's November Babe of the Month! If you don't know who Violet Blue is (and where have you been?!), here is your opportunity to learn more about one of the coolest kids on the web. We are delighted and honored to have this interview with Violet to share with you. She answered every question we sent her way. This is your chance to learn a little bit more about this media superpower and superbabe, who happens to buy her sex toys from Babeland (and recommends that you do too)! Thank you, Violet, for taking time out of your busy schedule to make the world "smarter and sexier" and provide us with this video, answering all of our probing questions. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MdEvM6As8I Here's the official word from Violet's site Tiny Nibbles: Violet Blue is a Forbes 25 "Web Celeb" and one of Wired's "Faces of Innovation." Blue is regarded as the foremost sexuality and tech expert and sex-positive pundit in mainstream media (such as The Oprah Winfrey Show, CNN, Attack of The Show). She is regularly interviewed, and featured prominently by major media outlets including Wired (and Wired UK), Newsweek, MSNBC, The Wall Street Journal, NPR, Salon.com, BBC, CNN, NYT, LA Times, Cinematical, PBS: Mediashift, CBS, The History Channel, Esquire, Maxim and more (read: Babeland!) Violet is the author and editor of many award-winning, best selling books that have won numerous awards and translated into 5 languages. Her book "The Smart Girl's Guide to Porn" is excerpted on The Oprah Winfrey website. Blue connected with an audience of over 4 million readers a month with her SF Chronicle column "Open Source Sex." Check back here later this month for the second part of our Babe of the Month feature, with Violet and Alex's Hot Holiday Picks! In the meantime, you can find Violet Blue on the web at TinyNibbles.com, on Twitter @violetblue, and on Facebook at Violet Blue.

Dan Savage: Our October Babe of the Month!

Wed, 20 Oct 2010 10:45:46 GMT

This month, our choice for Babeland's Babe of the Month was clear: no one other than Savage Love's Dan Savage! It was by no means a difficult choice, considering the amazing things that Dan has done this month for LGBT Youth by launching the "It Gets Better" Project, a video campaign designed to let at risk LGBT kids know that there is a life beyond their experience of bullying and isolation in schools. In fact, we were so inspired by him that we made our own videos too, for our New York City and Seattle locations, and blogged about it! He's spoken to numerous media outlets regarding the project and has garnered videos from amazing advocates and allies, including Kate Bornstein (our Babeland Pick for "It Gets Better"!), Tim Gunn and Hilary Clinton. He continues to fight the good fight by speaking boldly in his column, regarding the severity of LGBT youth suicides. Thank you, Dan, for being an amazing sex educator and advocate for LGBT rights. You're a Babe! If you'd like to show your own support today, wear purple! Today is GLAAD's Spirit Day, so wearing purple in support of LGBT youth and letting others know about the project is a great way to get involved.

Babe of the Month: Lady Gaga

Sun, 20 Jun 2010 14:55:20 GMT

You may love her or hate her, but you can't deny that Lady Gaga is a sex positive superstar. Lady Gaga has pushed the envelope not only with her out of this world fashion but also by challenging gender norms. From posing with a strap-on on the cover of a magazine to her to her latest video for "Alejandro," Gaga continues to use imagery that exposes people to different expressions of sexuality. She also provides imagery that a lot of people can identify with. In "Alejandro" Gaga pairs religious imagery ("Papa Don't Preach" anyone?) with military-styled male models dancing in stilettos. She even poses in sexual positions with these men that include some Bend Over Boyfriend shots. It's very sexy and definitely a must watch. If you haven't seen it, check it out: httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niqrrmev4mA All I know is that if I could make a Lady Gaga vibrator or dildo I totally would, and it would be completely covered in glitter.

Babe of the Month: April Flores

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 11:19:51 GMT

[caption id="attachment_1921" align="alignleft" width="202" caption="April Flores with her Hitachi"][/caption] Our Babe of the Month and star of the newly released Voluptuous Biker Babes, the lovely April Flores , was recently in the Bay Area hosting the Masturbate-a-thon and I was lucky enough to spend a bit of time with her. While regaling us with stories from the event, she revealed that she tried the Hitachi Magic Wand for the very first time during the Masturbate-a-thon. Having witnessed the amazing orgasm that one of her fellow participants experienced with the Hitachi, she asked to borrow it (using a condom over the head to be safe!) and the Hitachi worked its magic on her. She was instantly smitten, and me being smitten with her, decided that I must arrange for her to have her very own Hitachi Magic Wand courtesy of Babeland - contingent upon her agreeing to tell us all about it of course! So April, have you been spending some quality time with your new Hitachi Magic Wand yet and are you in lust with it as much as everyone here at Babeland is? I have been spending so much quality time with my Magic Wand that it has made it’s way into my dreams! I swear I dreamt that I was giving a show using my wand and I had my very first ever wet dream! It was truly wonderful and I didn’t realize it was a dream until I woke up and saw that it was resting comfortably in its box! Could you compare/contrast your orgasms with the Hitachi to the orgasms you have with some of your other favorite toys? My orgasms with the Magic Wand are much more intense and deep. My orgasms with other toys are wonderful too, but the sensation with those toys stay very specific to where the toy is. However, with the Magic Wand it feels like my whole body is being touched. It’s like a total body orgasm! Have you used it in combination with any other toys yet, and if so please elaborate! Most definitely! I have really enjoyed using it with my Pure Wand! The smoothness and firmness of the Pure Wand goes very nicely with the Magic Wand. There is something very special about these “Wands”. Have you turned any of your friends on to the Hitachi yet? OMG! I have been telling everyone I know. Most already own at least one, but when I find the rare friend who has not tried it or heard of it, I go into my infomercial mode. I start using phrases like “trust me” and “you have to try it” and “it will change your life”! I am still waiting to hear if they have actually tried one yet, but I am looking forward to saying “I told you!” What is your ultimate fantasy involving the Hitachi? I am really looking forward to bringing my Hitachi to next year’s Masturbate-a-thon. This was my first year attending, so I was there more as a spectator. But next year I plan on really participating for as long as I can with my trusty Hitachi by my side (actually by my pussy!) And lastly, the question everyone is dying to know... do you think the Hitachi will make a cameo in one of your future movies? Of course! I have already shot with it!!! Wow, April really knows how to leaving us wanting more, more, more ! If you just can't get enough of April either, then stay updated about her upcoming projects at her website www.FattyD.com. Thank you April!

Babe of the Month: Always Aroused Girl (part 2)

Wed, 27 May 2009 08:41:56 GMT

Here is part 2 of our interview with Always Aroused Girl. Always Aroused Girl (AAG) is a mom, sex blogger and sex toy reviewer. She’s also a Sexy Mom Blog participant and a favorite of ours here at Babeland. To help us celebrate our Sexy Mom Blog event this month, we asked AAG a few questions about being a sexy mom and a blogger. Check out part 1 of the interview for a chance to get a discount at Babeland! You've reviewed a lot of sex toys for Janes Guide. What do you like best about being a sex toy reviewer? What do you like least (if anything)? I love trying out things that are unique. A vibrator that probably has the exact same motor as a thousand others and only a slightly different plastic shell? Yawn! It takes great design, fabulous materials and stellar functionality to impress me now. That sounds snotty, doesn't it? But you have to realize I've tried dozens upon dozens of toys at this point. I'm pretty picky. What do you do with a toy after you've tested it if you think that you might never use it again? I have several friends who are happy to take well-cleaned, gently used toys off my hands. And I don't hesitate to throw away lame items. No matter how many toys I might collect, I still only have one vagina, more's the pity. Are new partners ever intimidated by the amount of toys you have because you are a reviewer? How do you handle this? It's been a while since I've had a new partner. In the past I've introduced toys slowly, one at a time, to keep the intimidation factor to a minimum. No one needs to walk into my closet and see the whole tool-chest full of toys the first time we're together. What is the best or most memorable toy you've ever tested? Memorable in a good way? Probably lube, believe it or not. Eros Pjur Bodyglide revolutionized my sex life. Seriously. I've seen lots of women turn up their noses at lube, but it makes everything feel so much better. The most memorable in a negative way would be an itty bitty butt plug that managed to disappear in my bottom. It was momentarily terrifying, but my partner and I still laugh about it two years later. What's your favorite sex toy? It would be impossible to name just one. I love the Hitachi Magic Wand. Everyone should have one! Also, Eros Pjur Bodyglide, the Eroscillator, Daddy from Tantus, the Liberator Throe, any of NobEssence's wooden toys, and Njoy's stainless steel items. I couldn't live without ForYourNymphomation storage cases too. (NB: Babeland doesn't carry all of AAG's favorites but we linked to similar items when we could) (NB: Babeland doesn't carry all of AAG's favorites but we linked to similar items when we could)

Babe of the Month: Always Aroused Girl (part 1)

Tue, 26 May 2009 05:00:47 GMT

Always Aroused Girl (AAG) is a mom, sex blogger and sex toy reviewer. She's also a Sexy Mom Blog participant and a favorite of ours here at Babeland. To help us celebrate our Sexy Mom Blog event this month, we asked AAG a few questions about being a sexy mom and a blogger. Stay tuned at the end of this post for a chance to get a discount at Babeland! On your blog, you write almost as much about your children as you do about your sex life. Which came first, the sex blogging or your children? I had children before I started writing, but at first I kept mention of the kids strictly off the blog. At some point after the first few months the separation started to feel very artificial. Sexuality is very important to me but it's hardly the only important thing. People have had both positive and negative reactions to this, but to me it feels natural to mention all the facets of my life. I hate the idea that a "mommy" blog needs to be rated G and a "sex" blog must only discuss sex. Is it important for children to have parents who have positive, healthy ideas about sexuality? Why? Yes, absolutely, in the same way that it's important for children to have parents who have positive, healthy ideas about food, or work, or friendships, or or anything else. What does being a mom who is sex positive mean for you in your everyday life as a parent? It means that my children know the names of their body parts and can talk about them (for example with a doctor, trusted friend or me) without embarrassment. It means that we're engaging in a long-term ongoing discussion of boundaries, pleasure, self-respect and values. And it means that I try to avoid shaming my kids about their bodies, even when my son races out of the bathroom to answer the door with his pants still around his ankles. You're creating a new site about parents having conversations with kids about sex - what are the goals of the website? It's actually about conversations between parents and children, no matter if the children are two years old or fifty when the conversations take place. Beyond the Birds and the Bees will eventually become home to thousands of tales that demonstrate positive and not-so-positive experiences people have had while sharing information about sexuality. I'm looking for submissions on experiences as diverse as naming body parts, coming out to family members, learning about the mechanics and the emotions of sex, dealing with abuse, teaching methods of birth control, disclosing assault, celebrating puberty, handling sex as it relates to disability and even discussing menopause with our mothers and daughters. I want it to be a place where folks can go for information, shared experiences both wonderful and horrifying, and of course laughter. We just began accepting submissions and I'd love to have lots of entries from Babeland Blog readers. Blog Readers: We're pleased to offer a special promotion for this! If you mention Babeland in a submission to Beyond the Birds and the Bees, you'll get a 10% discount at Babeland.com! All you have to do is submit your story and we'll take care of the rest. Check out part 2 of the interview with AAG tomorrow!

Babe(s) of the Month, Part 2!

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 07:47:43 GMT

My apologies for the delay in getting the second part of our interview up - we had some software trouble that's all fixed! If you missed part 1, you can catch it here. How do you think your sex guide, "SEX: How to Do Everything", is different from other sex guides out there? Re: the advice of SEX: We try to reconceptualize sex in ways that reject traditional notions of what sex is supposed to be. For example, the assumption that sex = intercourse; we try to take intercourse off its pedestal as the be-all-end-all of sexual activities. We encourage people not to think of lube and toys as crutches. We encourage people to step outside their stereotypical gender roles during sex. We reassure straight guys that enjoying anal play doesn't make them gay. We try to give equal time to all sorts of different spots, not just the G-spot -- which, for some women, just isn't their magic button. Re: the tone of SEX: We also try to approach sex writing with a sense of humor. It's not that we make fun of sex, but if you take it too seriously, you'll just stress out. And why shouldn't a sex manual be fun to read? So many sex manuals take sex way too seriously, where you feel like if you're not prepared to spend 3 hours massaging your partner and doing yoga together first, you can't improve your sex life. Which is not to say that massage and yoga are bad ideas -- in fact, they can be great for your sex life! But they're not the only answers. Re: the photos of SEX: Finally, we think it's something sexy couples can read together without it feeling like homework, a medical book, or sleazy porn. So often pictures in sex manuals are super cheesy and give you second-hand embarrassment; but these seem much more sleek and sophisticated without feeling fake. The Position of the Day Book is incredibly popular at Babeland - how did you come up with all of the names and positions? Do you ever hear reports from people who have tried some of the more impossible looking ones? That book was a group effort at Nerve. We'd pass around the drawing of whatever ridiculous position was coming up next and everyone would throw in their suggestions. They should do a book of all the alternate names that didn't make the final cut -- some of them were hilarious. One of our all time faves that did make the cut: The "I Can See My House From Here". What is your favorite sex toy (either individually or together) and why? When we were researching our book, Sex Toy, we learned a lot about how widespread cheap novelties are (that are poorly made, don't come with instructions, and are perhaps even toxic), so we're both huge fans of anything by the German manufacturers Fun Factory -- they make high quality products that work well, look good, feel great and are safe for your bod.

Babe(s) of the Month: Em & Lo!

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 08:53:35 GMT

This month's Babes of the Month are Em & Lo. These fantastic ladies have been giving quality advice for years and they really know what's up. They have a brand new sex advice website, EMandLO.com that has all sorts of sex advice in written and video form. If you're not already reading it, you must start. Now. They're also prolific writers, publishing terrific books about sex, some of which you can find at Babeland! Their newest book is called SEX: How To Do Everything. How did you both start giving sex advice? We worked side-by-side at Nerve.com 10 years ago, developing Nerve's online personals together. You know that form with "______ is sexy; ______ is sexier"? Yeah, that was us. Sorry 'bout that. We were sort of the co-hosts of that space, so we had allthese people coming to the site for dates, relationships, sex, etc, so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to start telling people how we thought they should treat each other romantically and sexually, and hence, our advice column "The Em & Lo Down" was born...before anyone at Nerve considered getting someone with actual authority to do it. We've been giving advice -- and actually becoming more authoritative -- ever since.

What is happening on your new website EMandLO.com?

We've just relaunched EMandLO.com -- it's now a super-gorgeous daily blog with at least 3 new sex/relationship-related items added each day. It's mostly fun advice from us, from our guy friend s, from our favorite dream interpreter, even from our college interns who are wise beyond their years.

What do you love about giving sex advice?

It's a constant reminder of how we should be in our own relationships -- even if we don't take our own advice as often as we should.

What is your most common question?

From women: "How do I have an orgasm?" either with a partner or even just on their own.

What is the most difficult or hard-to-answer question you've ever received?

"How do I have an orgasm?"

How do you work together when you answer a question? Do you talk about it first together? Does one person draft an answer?

When we first started, we used to sit side-by-side and pass the keyboard back and forth, talking it out, or else we'd hand write the draft of an answer over drinks out at a bar. But we've been writing together for so long, developing a voice together, that now we just split it up -- one of us will do a first draft, the other will edit, and we'll swap it back and forth until we're satisfied. We've got it down to a science now so there's not much back and forth. We're like psychically connected twins.

Check back tomorrow for part 2!

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From women: "How do I have an orgasm?" either with a partner or even just on their own.

What is the most difficult or hard-to-answer question you've ever received?

"How do I have an orgasm?"

How do you work together when you answer a question? Do you talk about it first together? Does one person draft an answer?

Check back tomorrow for part 2!

Babe of the Month: Michelle Obama!

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 12:47:56 GMT

In honor of the inauguration, we just had to make Michelle Obama our Babe of the Month. Clearly she's not going to be available for an interview but that doesn't mean we can't spend a few minutes talking about what a rockin' lady she is. Michelle Obama is striking to me because, although she is married to arguably the most important man in the world right now, she is so strong in herself that her personality is still very much separate from Barack Obama's. She is not just seen as speaking for her husband, but as a person her own agenda. One of the things I love about Michelle Obama is that she has been involved with social change for so much of her life. While she was at Harvard Law School, she participated in protests to encourage the school to hire more minority faculty members. While at Princeton she wrote her thesis on Princeton-Educated Blacks and the Black Community, taking on this divide and the interesting challenges and questions it raised. If I got the chance to interview Michelle Obama, I would ask her how her thesis related or informed the work that she went on to do as a VP for Community and External Affairs for Chicago Hospitals. Did her thesis also lead to her involvement with Public Allies, a not-for-profit organization which encourages young people to work on social issues through non-profit and government agencies? How does she see the role of first lady as related to these larger issues of community? I like Michelle Obama because to me, she is an intelligent and thoughtful person working to raise a family and find her path in life. I like Michelle Obama because she is more than just the wife of the next president of the United States. Most of all, I like Michelle Obama because she's the first first lady that I can imagine walking into Babeland. Wait - what? How did we get from community activism to sex toys? It may seem a bit presumptuous of me, but Michelle Obama seems like the kind of person who knows that a healthy sex life is an important part of a relationship would want to get her advice (and her sex toys) from experts. As I watched her listening to Americans during the campaign, I imagined that we were standing in Babeland and I was explaining the We Vibe to her. I think she would use the same interested look and gentle head nod and then would ask me about the SaSi. It's possible that this may never happen (how do presidents get sex toys anyway?) but it's always fun to imagine. Even if she never walks through our doors, Michelle Obama is definitely Babeland material. Don't forget about our Inauguration Sale - today and tomorrow in our stores and online.

Babe of the Month: Jiz Lee part 2

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 08:34:08 GMT

How did you first hear about Babeland?

I first heard about Toys in Babeland when I moved to the Bay Area in 1999 (from Hawai`i). It has quite a reputation in the queer/dyke community as being the go-to place for toys like harnesses and dildos. And now, queer porn, too.

How do you see Babeland as interacting with the queer porn community?

Babeland is a place for queers! The company never assumes heterosexuality and is open to folks of all genders and orientations. The language used is not limited to a cisexual view of the world, and doesn't conform to mainstream views of sex. I've noticed a lot of great relationships cultivated with movers and shakers of the queer sex-positive community and have seen Babeland's booths here in San Francisco during Folsom and Pride. I'm personally thrilled that Babeland supports queer pornographer friends of mine who are leaders in the field -- Shar Rednour and Jackie Strano of S.I.R. Productions who I'm excited to have recently met to talk about their next project, Morty Diamond (director of Trans Entities - a docuporn staring two dear extraordinary friends of mine), Ken Rowe (the driving force behind Trannywood Pictures), Madison Young (arts-minded pornstar turned phenominal director), and Wendy Delorme who appears in Emilie Jouvet's Pour Une Nuit.

What is your favorite sex toy? Ooooh this is difficult. There are so many and it really depends on the situation! My top five (right now) in no particular order: The Hitachi Magic Wand, Njoy's Eleven, Hemp Rope, any Vixskin Dildo, and Lube!

What is your favorite sex toy to use in a film? Aslan Leather's Jaguar Lux Harness -- the white leather one, which I think is fucking sexy and looks great against skin. Paired with Vixen Creation's Buck or Maverick in Caramel. It's a great combination of a soft and strong harness that looks as awesome as it feels to wear, and same can be said of the Vixskin silicone cocks; they're the best dildos on earth.

Babe of the Month: Jiz Lee part 1

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 08:07:53 GMT

It's time for another installment of Babe of the Month. Last month we had a veteran sex educator and porn maker, Tristan Taormino. This month, I'm interviewing a rising star in the porn world, Jiz Lee from the Crash Pad Series and Pink & White Productions - some of our very favorite pornos here at Babeland. Jiz is one of the hottest performers I've ever seen - not only because Jiz is so darn cute, but because watching Jiz fuck makes me fall in love with what dyke/gender-variant sex can be, all over again. When and how did you decide that you wanted to do porn? When I first saw S.I.R. Production's Hard Love / How to Fuck in High Heels, I realized I wanted to be in porn. Before that moment, I didn't see pornography as a medium for queers to share their sexual experiences. Though I had always had a strong since of my sexuality I had an opinion about porn as being intensely heteronormative -- straight, Eurocentric, and not very sexually progressive. When I saw that there was such a thing as queer porn that I realized that I could contribute to the genre. However, it wasn't until 2005 that I found the opportunity. How did you get involved with the people at Pink & White Productions? My partner Shawn is a producer of the company and introduced me to her friend Shine Louise Houston who was casting for her first film. Shawn and I shot together for my first scene in The Crash Pad, which was awarded Hottest Dyke Sex Scene 2006 from the Feminst Porn Awards. Since then, I've appeared in each of the company's feature films, Superfreak, In Search of the Wild Kingdom, and the upcoming feature film, Champion. Pink & White also produces a membership site called CrashPadSeries.com, which is a fantastic place for queers who want to break into the business. What do you like best about Pink & White Productions' films? What do you think other people like best about them? Working with the folks at Pink & White is a dream come true for sex radical queers. Everyone is down-to-earth, progressive, and deeply passionate about representing authentic queer sex. I love shooting porn with my friends and lovers, and having a supportive crew who values my sexual expression. I think that other people love Pink & White because the company makes great work that really shows a broad range. The cast represents a lot of different queer experiences, and is as diverse in ethnicity, gender, hair/aesthetic, body type, orientation, and even professional experience -- both amateurs and seasoned adult professionals love working for Pink & White because they are encouraged to have sex whatever way they like best, fucking within the context of their own individual desires. Why do you see queer made porn as being different from other "lesbian" porn? The term "Lesbian" is an interesting genre, often appropriated by the adult industry for the male gaze. Thus, it is equivalent to "Girl/Girl" pornography and the sexual acts you'll see are pretty limited. Queer porn more accurately reflects the sexual identity of many of us in the queer community because the sex acts and gender expressions of the talent portrayed in these films are not held to the ideals of the assumed straight male consumer. It is made (directed, filmed, produced, cast, promoted, etc...) by queer-identified folks for the viewing pleasure of other queers. The sex is unapologeticly passionate, something that puts it closer allined with "gay porn". What is your favorite film or scene that you've been in and why? The Crash Pad will always have a place in my heart because it was the first scene I shot with my partner, and I think it captured our insatiable love for each other (when we shot it we had been dating for about 6 months). I'm also very excited about our sex scene in Champion, which Shine has shared with me in pre-production. Our characters in the film are exes who haven't quite stopped sleeping together, and I think this somber undertone reflects a beautifully deep connection of our intense love as a real-life couple. Check out the rest of Jiz Lee's interview tomorrow! In the meantime, here are some ridiculously awesome pics of Jiz with the Njoy Eleven ontext of their own individual desires. Why do you see queer made porn as being different from other "lesbian" porn? The term "Lesbian" is an interesting genre, often appropriated by the adult industry for the male gaze. Thus, it is equivalent to "Girl/Girl" pornography and the sexual acts you'll see are pretty limited. Queer porn more accurately reflects the sexual identity of many of us in the queer community because the sex acts and gender expressions of the talent portrayed in these films are not held to the ideals of the assumed straight male consumer. It is made (directed, filmed, produced, cast, promoted, etc...) by queer-identified folks for the viewing pleasure of other queers. The sex is unapologeticly passionate, something that puts it closer allined with "gay porn". What is your favorite film or scene that you've been in and why? The Crash Pad will always have a place in my heart because it was the first scene I shot with my partner, and I think it captured our insatiable love for each other (when we shot it we had been dating for about 6 months). I'm also very excited about our sex scene in Champion, which Shine has shared with me in pre-production. Our characters in the film are exes who haven't quite stopped sleeping together, and I think this somber undertone reflects a beautifully deep connection of our intense love as a real-life couple. Check out the rest of Jiz Lee's interview tomorrow! In the meantime, here are some ridiculously awesome pics of Jiz with the Njoy Eleven

Babe of the Month: Tristan Taormino, Part 2

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 09:00:34 GMT

Tell me a little bit about how and why the Vivid Ed videos were started? What is different about these videos as opposed to other How-To vids? I really wanted to bring my specific vision of sex education to the world of video. The videos are unique in the sex ed genre because we really take advantage of the DVD format, and viewers can watch the scenes with instruction or without, which has not been done before. The videos feature very specific and explicit techniques, which I think is incredibly important. There's nothing vague or implied, we get right in there and show you how to do it! Plus, we've got these cool graphics --- kind of like VH-1's pop up video --- which are part of each scene and offer extra information. I am really proud of these movies, and try to push the envelope with them. In the fellatio movie, we cover techniques for uncircumcised cocks and prostate stimulation, which no other fellatio instructional has done. In the cunnilingus movie, we really focus on cunnilingus, rather than show it as foreplay or what leads to intercourse, we stay on point!

Your new book, Opening Up, has been getting a lot of great reviews. What prompted you to write this book? I think that there is a solid body of work on swinging and polyamory, but there are lots of people exploring non-monogamy who don't identify with those communities, and they've been left out of the conversation. I wanted to explore the diversity of relationship styles beyond monogamy. I interviewed over a hundred people from all different walks of life and their stories are really the heart of the book.

What was the most interesting thing you learned from the couples you interviewed for Opening Up? I didn't talk to just couples - I interviewed singles, couples, triads, quads, circles of five, lots of different combinations! I learned so much from each person I talked to and realized that life really is in the details. No one does non-monogamy the same way. It's all about crafting a relationship that's custom made for the people involved.

What projects are you working on now? I am editing my latest video for Vivid-Ed, The Expert Guide to Threesomes, which will be out in December. I have a new book coming out from Quiver Books in 2009. It's called The Anal Sex Positions Guide, and it's a how-to book focused specifically on positions. It's illustrated with gorgeous softcore photos. It's the anal sex coffee table book I've always wanted on my living room table! I am writing a second book for Quiver which is all about sex toys. I am working on two other books, too.

What is your favorite anal sex toy? I cannot pick just one! Of course, I have to say the Tristan butt plug from Vixen, since I helped design it and it's named for me. I think the Mistress is the best dildo for strap-on anal sex, especially for beginners. Now it comes with a vibrator, too, which rocks.

What is your favorite non-anal sex toy? I have fallen in love with a new strap-on harness recently, the Jaguar Harness from Aslan. In Cherry Red. The leather is smooth and gorgeous, it fits like a glove, and it's so comfortable, I could wear it all day!

/a>, too, which rocks.

Babe of the Month: Tristan Taormino

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 09:00:58 GMT

Tristan Taormino has held a near and dear place in Babeland's heart for a long, long time - and not just because she used to work here. Tristan's work in sex education has made countless people's sex lives better. Below, she talks about her work at Babeland and her extensive knowledge of anal sex. Check out part 2 tomorrow where she will discuss her more recent projects and some of her favorite sex toys. I'd like to talk first about your experiences at Babeland while you were there. Why did you apply to work at Babeland? Well, I was really interested in being right in the mix. I wanted to learn as much as I could about sex, and Babeland was on the front lines of sex education.

What are some fond memories that you have of working at Babeland? I got to talk to people every day about their sex lives, their fantasies, their anxieties, their experiences. They shared details about their lives that they had never told anyone before, which is just amazing. I learned something from every single customer I interacted with.

What did you learn at Babeland that helped you in the wide world of sex education after you left? I think one of the most important lessons for me was to leave my own sex life out of it, and approach everyone without any judgment. I needed to meet each person where they were at. When someone said, 'I am looking for something big,' I asked them to show me what they meant, rather than assuming. You need to listen to people, empower them to ask for what they need and want.

You've long been seen as the "Anal Sex Guru" - did you have any idea starting out that you would become so associated with that particular sexual activity? Well, I did write the book on the subject! Really, I don't feel pigeon-holed or anything. If I am forever known as the anal sex expert, I am okay with that.

What would be your number one piece of advice for an anal sex beginner? Go slowly! I think lots of people rush the process and that's what gets them in trouble. Take your time...and while you're warming up, enjoy the process.