Q: Dear Beth

Dear Rachel and Claire,

I have always wanted to give my guy a strip tease, but every time I practice, I feel awkward and clumsy. Do you have any suggestions on where I can get some tips and self esteem on how to give him the best show ever?

Thank you very much,

Beth

A:

Dear Beth, I think you’re more than half way there, in that you know you want to do it and have already started to practice. For tips check out the book Exhibitionism for the Shy, which is supportive and has lots of concrete suggestions, or check out the video The Art of Exotic Dancing for Everyday Women. In some metropolitan areas, you may be able to find a how-to class at the Learning Annex which is taught by a professional stripper. The most important factor to the success of your strip is going to be your attitude. If you are turned on, feeling good and sexy, expressing yourself to the music through dancing, it’s going to be hot. Keep practicing, and in addition to working on moves, focus on letting yourself sink into your body and the movement. Pick music that makes you feel good and is easy to move to. There are classic “strip tease” compilations available with that ba-da-da-bom sound, but you might feel better going with music that is your own style. As you practice admire yourself in a mirror and appreciate what you like about yourself. If you think you have a sexy ass, move in ways that accentuate that, and so on. Don’t go down that bad body image path. Imagine someone is watching you, and show off for them a little bit. You may want to practice with buttons and zippers etc. so they seem a little easier. (Hint: for pants lie on the floor, still wriggling, and slide them down to mid thigh- then pull them off one leg at a time). Remember to tease: show a little and then take it away, inch that zipper down, take your bra off but cover your nipples with your hands and so on. When you’ve practiced enough by yourself that you feel smoother than you do now, and are able to stay grounded in your erotic feelings as you move, start planning the setting of your performance. A sexy outfit with easy to remove clothes is a good idea. Candlelight or dim lights may make you feel less exposed. Bathing or masturbating first could be a good idea if that makes you feel sexy. A glass of wine may help you feel less inhibited. You may want your man to come armed with lots of bills with which to tip you as you dance. That would let you know he appreciates it. Or you may want him to just lay back and revel in his luck at hooking up with such a sexy woman.