Soft but Still Sexy

Dear Soft but Sexy:

One thing you might try is a strap-on dildo. Unlike flesh and blood penises, you get to pick just what size and shape you want, and most importantly, it’s always ready. Even without nerve endings, your imagination and feeling of having a "psychic hard-on" will probably give you a lot more sensation than you expect. The Spareparts Joque Harness is a good choice; pair that with a  Leo, or Johnny dildo, and you’re on your way. If you want a dildo that vibrates, try the Buzz 1 or the vibrating Leo.

You could use any of those dildos as a hand-held toy, but if you want something fancier try the Rabbit Habit or the larger-sized Surfing Bunny, vibrators which combine clitoral stimulation with swirling penetration.

So that’s the gear. As to the concept of “deep work,” you may not need to go as deep as you think. Many women don’t relish having the cervix banged. Clitoral stimulation is the main route to climax, and your fingers can reach to her G-spot for penetration fun. Another alternative to going deeper is going wider­­­­—try adding another finger to increase the volume.

For more suggestions, or just plain inspiration, get these revelant books: Sex Toys 101 and The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex.