How Can I Get My Boyfriend to have Sex With Me?

Dear Rachel and Claire,
I have been living with my boyfriend for two years. We've been dating for two and a half. But getting him to have sex with me is like trying to climb Everest. I "dress up" for him, I attack him, I've tried talking about it, and I've laid off. I don't know what to do.

— Patience is My Middle Name

A:

Dear Patience,


Bummer. You can only do what you can do. You’ve tried talking and a bunch of other stuff. If he won’t give you any guidance on what’s up with his lack of desire you’ll have to decide what you can live with. Keep up your solo sex life—lack of libido can be contagious in relationships. You might encourage him to read our article on How to Boost Sexual Desire.  If he’s depressed you may want to wait for him to feel better or encourge him to see a psychiatrist for professional help. If he’s having physical problems he should check with a doctor. But he may be telling you with his body what he can’t bring himself to say out loud. If he keeps on repelling your advances and won’t say why, consider keeping him as a friend rather than a mate. You deserve better.