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Painful Butt

Dear Rachel and Claire,
My boyfriend is very interested in having anal sex.  I was not into the idea, but after we both read some material, I decided to give it a try.  We lubricated and everything.  I didn't think I was that nervous, but when he placed his penis in, it hurt an incredible amount.  I asked him to take it out. What can I do to let go of the fear and ease the pain?

Painful Butt

A:

Dear Painful,

Using loads of lube and checking out the resources were a good first step. But the butt needs a bit more seducing for pleasurable penetration. Size does matter. Leave his penis out of your anal sex scenes for a while and explore anal play with fingers and small butt plugs like the Little Flirt. If you like the sensations (and you get to decide) let him know he can move up a notch or two. Using a vibrator on the clitoris during anal penetration can also help to transform the sensations and help relax the pc rectal muscles. Tristan Taromino’s Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Women is an invaluable guide to the pleasures of butt sex. Good luck and bottoms up!

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