Tearful Joy

Dear Rachel and Claire,
When I reach an intense orgasm, I end up tearful with joy and release. This bothers my boyfriend even though I've explained that it's not due to discomfort or anything he's done wrong, but from love and the intense emotions of the moment.  We're each other’s first sexual partners and we're exploring porn, toys, even lube, for the first time. From what I've read online, we've got a lot to learn and it all sounds like so much fun!  I'm anticipating even more orgasms, but how do I keep from ruining the moment?

-Tearful Joy

A:

Dear Tearful,

You’re not ruining the moment, you are having a moment of being touched and opened up. Your boyfriend should take it as a compliment- your tears are a sign that you were moved by the sex, in a way beyond words. If he were more experienced, he would know this, but for now just keep reassuring him that it is part of your release. Hopefully he’ll get used to it and learn to appreciate it. Please don’t stifle this response in yourself. It’s hard to shut down one part of your sexuality and leave all the others turned on; if you turn off the tears tap you might inadvertently cut the flow of love, passion and energy. 

Keep on exploring and check out Sex Toys 101 to add to the adventure, it sounds like you’re at a wonderful place in your sexual lives.