The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage

Babeland:  I was checking out your website to see how many classes you offer…

Midori: Over 60 different topics, there are many new classes I haven't added to the site.

Babeland: I noticed that you have way more classes offered for beginners or intermediate folks then you do for more advanced folks.

Midori: Yeah I do.  The reason is kind of arbitrary to tell you the truth.  There are some classes that are totally basics—intro to kink, that sort of thing.  But some things can be intermediate or advanced depending on where a person is.  Someone can be very advanced at rope play, but they are new to erotic humiliation.  Or they may be exceptionally good at tantric sex, but they have never done kink.  What's to say if a person is advanced or intermediate? It's kind of like a ski slope, when you go to the tiny little mountains, their black diamonds are totally different than at Squaw or in Switzerland.

Babeland: I thought skiing in Vermont was impressive until I went to Colorado!

Midori: Things get blurry in the intermediate and the advanced classes but the beginner classes are definitely beginner. I am going to take more time and be more conscious of the fact that not everybody has the same terminology, not everybody comes from that similar communal language that certain groups have.  I become sensitive to the language used. There is also emotional and psychological stuff that certain communities are more accustomed to dealing with then other communities. For example, explaining the idea of polyamory and non-binary relationships is going to be different if I am talking with a college human sexuality course as opposed to say, a swingers lifestyle convention.  If I were presenting to HIV outreach educators it is important for me to say that there are people out there who have consensual, non-paired sexuality.

Babeland: It's important to emphasize that polyamory is okay because they might think—"No, no! They shouldn't have multiple partners! That's high risk!"

Midori: Yeah, so I take into consideration the exposure, the knowledge and the language.  I also take into consideration what they want to learn from me.

Babeland: How does it feel to see someone you have had in a basics class who had never done any bondage before and then come back to teach a year or so later and you see them at a fetish event showing off their rope skills.  How does it feel to know you inspired them?

Midori: Oh it's fantastic!  That is probably the best compliment I can get.  Well actually the best compliment I can get is when their lovers come up to me and tug at my sleeve and say “uh…thanks”. You know, they just kind of have this look on their face; they don't really need to say more.  I recently had a situation where a couple came to my Women's Dominance Intensive weekend I taught in LA. I was in LA teaching again later and the two show up. They came up to me and they were both giggly faced and they said it's just gotten so much better and the insight they got and the clarity they received and how much fun they are having.  That was just about the most satisfaction I could imagine.

Babeland: Do you feel these women are happier in their everyday lives because you inspired them or opened a door for them?

Midori: Well I have given them the tools to improve and discover ways to be happier and it is tremendously satisfying. I come from many generations of socially conscious people. My grandmother was a suffragette, my mom fought for the rights of women to have equality in the work place...Standing up for principles and freedom, each generation doing our own little bit from a different angle—mine seems to be around sex.

Babeland: I read somewhere that you were “wired for sex.”

Midori: Yes, my desire to make the world better seems to be focused in this small arena.  There is so much in the world to be done, to be changed; you've got to pick a narrow field.  This is my field and I guess I am sort of an idealist or utopianist in some way or another because I do want to make a positive impact on the world.

Babeland: If you influence a whole classroom of people positively and they are happier because of it, then they can continue to spread this positive impact on in their own way.

Midori: Pleasure and joy are infectious. Someone once referred to me as the Ambassador of Kink.  I know some people get nervous around sex educators or kink educators, because there is this perception that we are looking to convert people—no, no, no, no, no.  I just want to open options, give permission for people to be honest to who they are.

Babeland: So as the Ambassador of Kink traveling all over the world, what are some surprising differences you have experienced teaching in different regions?

Midori: Well first of all, the teaching culture is uniquely North American.  It really hasn't caught hold in Europe as of yet, although it is starting to in small pockets.

Babeland: How so? When you go to Europe to teach, how is it different?

Midori: There is a strong kink and sex positive community in Europe, a lot of great parties and all that, but they are definitely more social and party and fun event focused. On the down side, the Americans can seem kind of fuddy-duddy and dodgy because they are so education focused.  Many Europeans might say… “Where is the fun?  Where is the dress up?  You just all talk about it, do you ever do it?” There is some legitimacy to their point too.

Babeland: You taught as a part of a series on contemporary practices and ancient Asian arts at DesArts in Amsterdam.  When I read about that, I thought: "Wow, that is such an amazing opportunity." How did you get involved with that?

Midori: Yeah that was great!  A friend of a friend knew a friend who was looking for just the right sort of teacher to occupy a seat in an intensive education post graduate art school about contemporary Asian art, performance and identity.  And the curator was somebody who has his finger on the pulse of contemporary Asian identity and could identify what I did as being where performance, culture, art and sex intersect. So he invited me to teach.

Babeland: How did the students react to having this kinky sexual information as part of their curriculum?

Midori: Those classes were customized around the idea of presenting to performers, to lead them through the idea of sex and sexual expression as performance, as identity.  I took a lot of my core material and then reworked it around the idea of sex and identity as performance and how history and culture can affect the expression of an individual. I have actually presented to a lot of interesting university classes and I look forward to doing more of that.  I have taught to women's studies, sexuality, sociology, gay and lesbian studies, Asian studies, there was a course on global sex work, and a really satisfying class teaching to post-graduate social work students.  I am also going to be teaching at SSSS, The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.

Babeland: Do you teach human sexuality or do you teach Japanese bondage for those classes?

Midori: It depends on what aspect they want me to focus on for their curriculum.  I may talk about contemporary Japanese sexuality, I may talk a little about history - it depends.

Babeland: Really, it's however they can justify it to their department to get you in there and tie up the students.

Midori: Well, often times the demos don't happen, because I'm not allowed to.  A lot of people focus on the bondage because of my book, but a lot of my classes are more about psychology, you know, the inner workings of pleasure—like my Aural Sex class.

Babeland: That is actually one of the best classes I have ever been to. I loved to watch you interact with the class and work the fantasies of volunteers into the lesson.  You taught this class at our SoHo NYC store as well. Is there a difference, from region to region in the U.S., in the participants that come to your classes or what they expect to get out of it?

Midori: It depends on the age of the local sex positive kink community. For example Seattle, LA, Chicago, New York, Boston have had long time sexual cultures so there tends to be more access to information, the people are less timid, sometimes jaded.

Babeland: I also wanted to ask you about Toronto.  It is clear from your newsletter that you love Toronto.

Midori: You know, I love Canada.  I am actually going up to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan soon.  I have been to Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver, Winnipeg, Montreal and Toronto. Toronto is a VERY sex-positive city. I LOVE that town.  There is this wonderful network of sex-positive groups and retail stores that really work well together in terms of sex educators.  Toronto is a totally sex-positive city.  Montreal, totally sexy city, those fabulously naughty, naughty French Canadians - love them.

Babeland: The Canadian Discovery Channel filmed some of your classes in Toronto for their "Sex Files."  Has that aired yet?

Midori: Apparently it has, I haven't seen it though. I have received some great feedback about it from my students through my student lounge on Yahoo! Groups. The student lounge is so successful, really amazing. It is a free space specifically designed for discussion around sex and kink, and includes people from Denmark, Germany, South Africa, loads of Canadians, loads of Australians, loads of Americans and it's a great place for asking questions and there is not only geographic spread but also experience, gender, and orientation spread…This is different then my newsletter which goes out about once a month with my adventures and upcoming classes.  My Yahoo! Group is so active, and it is active with quality content discussions.  Take a look at the archive; it is actually a really intelligent discussion.

Babeland: I really envy your ability to be able to make a living as a traveling kink sexuality educator.  Do you have any advice for aspiring sexuality educators wanting teach beyond their own backyard?

Midori: It hasn't been easy. You've got to know what you're talking about.  I have watched people teach on topics that they don't know.  And I think that is insincere. And it does no one a service.  They have got to know what they are talking about, they have got to be passionate about it and they have to be willing to not make a fortune.

Babeland: I doubt anyone hopes to make a fortune at teaching, but you do get to travel.

Midori: Here is the reality, most of my travel is a lot of hassle at the airport, then I see the inside of a van or a taxi, then the inside of the hotel and then a leather event that I LOVE and I get to see a lot of my friends and all that, but lets take for example Boston, I love that city, I love my friends there, I have never done any of the tourist stuff.

Babeland: You mean to tell me you haven't been on a duck tour?

Midori: Hell no! I've wanted to. You know that's funny; a lot of people think all I want to do is the kinky stuff. No!  I want to go do the museums, I want to go to the stupid tourist places AND do the kinky stuff.  The traveling teaching thing does have its ups and downs.  Here are the benefits: I get to do what I'm truly passionate about.  I get to see, take part in and in some way affect people's lives getting happier and improving relationships.  I get to travel, go to exotic places and I get to have amazing friends.  I get to have great sex, I get to go to all these amazing events, and I get to perform in front of 3000 people. Downsides: I'm never in town on the weekends so I don't get invited to things in San Francisco anymore because everybody assumes I'm out of town.  When I come home, I'm so busy with writing I'm often in self-imposed house arrest in my office trying to work.  I don't get paid vacation.  I have no 401k.  I have to pay my own health insurance.  If I don't work, I don't get paid.  When I'm invited by organizations that aren't accustomed to professional educators, sometimes I have to deal with resistance when I talk about compensation and being paid as a professional presenter.

Babeland: Do they think you should just volunteer your time?

Midori: Yeah, and early on in my career it was a daily conversation. If a whip maker, a dildo maker, a writer or a performer would be paid then I should get paid and compensated as well.  I don't ask for a fortune, it's pretty reasonable…I want to make it accessible.

Babeland: So newer educators trying to get out there and teach would have a similar situation?

Midori: You start out teaching for free to earn your credentials and get training. I have spent a lot of time in my early days teaching for free.  I've done my rounds.

Babeland: How long have you been teaching?

Midori: 8 or 9 years, something like that.  It is interesting that there is this whole new cadre of sex educators and you know, we all owe it to people like Kinsey and Betty Dodson.  Betty, Carol Queen, Annie Sprinkle.  We sex educators need to understand our own history of sex education.  Its great that we can all talk about good sex techniques, but we need to have a larger perspective on how revolutionary and amazing it is that an individual, especially a woman, could own her own sexuality and not take for granted the knowledge we have today.

Want to see more Midori?

Midori is featured in the January issue of Penthouse where she spilled the beans on all sorts of sexual adventures. In the next couple of months, look for her new booklet on Shoe and Foot Worship published by Greenery Press as part of their Toy Bag Series. She is also working on two other books that are expected out this year including a collection of essays.  Due to her increased writing schedule, she will be touring less frequently in the coming year so don't miss her when she comes to your town.  If you want to find out more about Midori and her upcoming classes, check out her site.