Guest Toy Review:

The Fleshlight Gets Robert Through the Night

by Doctor Robert (winner of our second annual guest toy reviewer contest)

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For over 20 years now the ladies have had their pick of high-quality sex toys, everything from durable, dependable vibrators to dildos made from silicone, tempered glass or even polished granite. But until very recently we males were stuck in the dark ages. For far too long, the only options for men who wanted to get off solo boiled down to laughably cheap rubber toys, the omnipresent inflatable “love doll;” which only someone with extraordinary suspension-of-disbelief powers would ever think of as “realistic,” or the old standby, our own two hands. Self-administered hand jobs not only get tiresome real fast, they have the undesirable side-effect of de-sensitizing you to the point that after a prolonged dry spell, you end up having trouble responding to the sensation of a real vagina when a sexual opportunity finally does arise.

Enter the Fleshlight. Two million dollars reportedly went into the development of this product, and it shows! The words “intercourse simulator” are not hype. The realistic feeling inserts have about as much in common with the rubber “novelties” of old as The Ramones have in common with Britney Spears! The regular model, when properly lubed, does feel remarkably like a real vagina. I sometimes wish the handy hard plastic Fleshlight case was instead a pair of lifelike artificial buttocks to grab onto while using it, but that’s one for the suggestion box. The nature of the sensations and orgasm with the Fleshlight are almost identical to those of vaginal intercourse.

While no sex toy, however sophisticated, will ever replace sex with another person, the Fleshlight is a very close second which can make dry spells a lot easier to take, or be enjoyed for its own sake. We males finally have our equivalent of the venerable Hitachi Magic Wand. We now have a way to get ourselves off without becoming “palm addicted” and ruining our ability to respond to sex with another person.

Also Recommended

• Tips for Using the Fleshlight
• Guest toy review by Ross