Guest Toy Reviewer

Madison Thinks Kitty Clamps are the Cat's Pajamas

Meet our first-ever guest toy reviewer, Madison. She, along with our male reviewer, Ross, won our "Be a Toy Reviewer" contest, so they're here to give you the lowdown on which toys get them off! We'll rotate their columns so you get a fresh perspective, and to give them time to play with their toys! With no further ado, here's Madison, with her take on Kitty Clamps.

Whoever labeled the breasts “secondary sex organs” was probably lousy in bed.  Breasts are wonderfully sensitive parts—whether you’re licking, nibbling, fondling, rubbing, stroking, or sucking. I can’t imagine sex without them. However, like anything else you do a lot, breast play can become a bit routine. I was hoping that a new toy would help me squeeze a little more excitement out of my favorite breasts.

If the idea of clamping something to your tender tips seems a little too, well, nervy—you’re not alone. I tried nipple clamps once, and it took me a year to get up the courage to try them again. But never fear—finding the right product can mean the difference between “hurts so good” and just plain “hurts.” As I found out the hard way, most of the clamps sold inexpensively in sex shops are designed for men’s itty bitty titties, or for SM play. They aren’t too nice to those of us with large or sensitive nubbins. 

My own persnickety pair perked up just looking at the Kitty Clamps. (Silly nipples—pink and black is sooooo two seasons ago!) Solid and well-designed, these pretty pinchers are distant cousins of those medieval-looking clamps I tried before. They’re highly adjustable, too, unlike many cheaper ones. The metal clips are even covered with cushiony rubber to help tame their teeth.

On the other hand, some people enjoy a savage grip. If you like the feel of metal on your skin, simply slide the rubber tips off and adjust the clamps accordingly. The oversized screws let you get the pressure just right, whether you prefer an “ow” or just an “ooh.”

What really puts the Kitty Clamps in a class of their own, though, is the vibration. Each of the pair carries three tiny batteries which make the clips purr like kittens. (And give them a rather appealing weight, as well.) The motors are small and quiet, but they pack a punch.

At first, I was worried that the vibration might numb my nipples—but it actually makes them more responsive. When combined with the clamps, the tiniest lick or tug is enough to make me beg for mercy. If the sensation becomes too intense, it’s easy to reduce the vibration or move the clips slightly.  (Just don’t overindulge.  Remember, you still want it to feel good after the clamps come off!)

My favorite way to play with these is to clip them gently to my breasts and let them buzz away while I masturbate or get fucked. But that’s not all they’re good for. My lover enjoys placing one on her clit, and giving the other to me. I like trailing the rubber ends teasingly over her neck, back and lips. One playful morning, we even discovered that they make adorable earrings. Hey, why let the nipples have all the fun?

Also Recommended

• Ross reviews the Bend Over Beginner Kit and the Colt Stroker Sleeve
• How to Play with Breasts