Guest Review of Urban Tantra

by Barbara Carellas

If there were one simple thing I could say to get you to read Urban Tantra, I’d probably say “accessible”.  This is an amazing book in many ways, but above all, it shines especially because of this accessibility.  Tantra is chameleon-like: it includes many meanings.  It can be an exotic, mysterious set of teachings requiring years to understand, a lifetime to master.  It can suggest an equally mysterious way of practicing sex that somehow gives you better, stronger, longer-lasting orgasms.  Urban Tantra is totally unlike other books I’ve looked at on this subject, because it cuts through this soup of meanings and interpretations and gives the reader a simple, clear path to fun and enjoyment. 

At the heart of Barbara Carellas’ practice is breathing.  She is big on the use of breath in sex, but once again, this is completely manageable.  In Urban Tantra, a  series of simple, easy to learn exercises puts you at the center of this all-important part of her practice.  You don’t need an advanced degree in sitting to “get it”.  Yes, you will need to spend a little time during the day or the week to allow for these exercises, but they are very easy to do and you will experience their joy right away.  I found very quickly that it is possible to incorporate some of these breathing methods into the course of a regular workday.

The sequence she gives us in Urban Tantra includes something very special: the Erotic Awakening Massage.  Having experienced this myself, I can only say to prospective readers: wow.  Male sexuality is, in my view, sadly constrained to a particular way of “doing it”.  It goes something like this: get hard, get off, ejaculate.  If you’re really lucky, you won’t rush to a premature orgasm (but most men do).  All sense of satisfaction is strangely bound up in this idea of ejaculation as climax.  Urban Tantra, and the Erotic Awakening Massage, offer a path to a different and very powerful orgasm.  For women, the same experience is available (I won’t try to speak to that other than to say that having participated in a workshop in which this was given, I sure felt “wow” then too!)

Urban Tantra offers a wonderful menu of sex practices for any motivated reader.  The chapters on basics weave breathing exercises with chakras and touch.  She explores sexual energy in another section, integrating the earlier exercises in a way that makes this easy to do and to understand.  She introduces us to different types of orgasms, a radical departure from the usual drabness of “sex manuals”.  Creating a Tantric ritual is geared toward what you want, not an esoteric chant.  Tantra and BDSM/bondage group Tantra and sex magic all play into this approach.  Throughout the book, she gently reminds us about safety, and manages to interject humor and fun into the whole thing that can’t help but leave you with a satisfied feeling, even if you never take your pants off!  I’d say buy this book, read it, and find a deeper, more satisfying, fun sex life.  But you already know that, don’t you?

Also Recommended:

• Hearts Cracked Open (DVD, Tantra for lesbians)
• Sex Information and How-To Books
• All of Babeland's Books