How to Fist

by Rachel Venning

Fisting is when one partner puts their whole hand inside the other's vagina. Although the hand naturally curls up into a fist once inside the vagina, it is a gradual process of easing in more and more of the hand until the entire fist is inside. Having your pussy filled up completely can be intense, and watching your arm disappear at the wrist into your lover's body can be an arousing thrill. Usually not a sex practice for a first date, fisting takes more care than does just slipping in a digit or two. Here are some tips to ease the way.

1. Fisting is a well-orchestrated duet. Think of fisting as a collaboration, not as something one partner "does" to the other. If the receptive partner is usually a "lay back Queen" she may have to do a little more work than she's accustomed to. Similarly, "slam bam thank you ma'am" types will have to cool their jets a bit. Active communication and trust are necessary, so keep talking to let each other know what's up.

2. Manicures, please. The hand that's going in should have a manicure worthy of a reception with the Queen Mother. Any hangnails, ragged edges, corners or rough spots should be smoothed away. Get those nails as short as you can.

3. 
   

   
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   Use lots of water-based lube. Let it slop all over your fingers, and grease the wide part of your hand up with extra zeal. Keep applying lube as you go. Latex gloves, in addition to being a barrier against STDs, can make your fist even slicker.

4. Turn yourselves on. Do the things that get you turned on the most and go from there. For multi-orgasmic women, fisting is often easier after an orgasm or two. While working in the wide part of the hand, use your mouth, the fingers of your other hand, or a vibrator for an extra fizz of clitoral sensation to increase the pleasure and distract her focus from any discomfort that fisting may cause.

5. As your lover pushes her hand in, let your cunt relax. To do this try clenching up and holding the PC muscles tight, then with a big sighing exhale, release that tightness; as you release and relax, your lover's hand will slide farther in. Breathe deeply. Picture your vagina in your mind, seeing it open up to receive the hand of your lover.

6. Stretch out. If the receiver is lying on her back, she may find that stretching out and tilting her head back creates more room for the hand. With the spine stretched out, all the internal organs move up too, creating more space and less pressure on the vagina.

7. Once your hand is in, it's a commitment. When you're in past the wide point of your hand, your lover's vagina will envelop your fist. She may start to contract so much that the pressure on your hand is uncomfortable. Hang in there. If you pull out suddenly, you could hurt her. The easiest way to come out is to let her push you out while she's coming. If you must pull out, tell her, so that she can work with you to ease her hand out.

8. Move with care. When you get your hand inside, think more of filling her up than of pumping. As the fingers slide in the thumb often curls under them to form a fist, although it's also possible for the thumb to be on the outside. Either way, once you are inside start your movement by contracting and expanding your hand to fill her up even more. If she likes that, try moving in and out a bit, but go slow and gentle. Sometimes all the fistee wants is the feeling of being filled up by your hand, other times more fucking action is welcome.

About Anal Fisting

Anal fisting has a lot in common with vaginal fisting. Once again, key ingredients are relaxation, communication and lubrication. Many find opening up anally more challenging than being vaginally receptive, so give yourself plenty of time and permission to go only as far as you want to go. While vaginally one should only use water-based lubricants, for anal play, oil-based lubes which are thicker and longer lasting are okay. Use plenty of lube and work your way in one finger at a time. Deep breathing, consciously releasing clenched anal muscles, going slow, and staying tuned into your partner are key.

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