How to Make Safer Sex Sexy

Author: by Mykkah Herner


When we talked about safer sex in my tenth grade health class, I never knew it could be something I’d grow to love and desire.  Many people talk about safer sex techniques like they’re a chore or deal-breaker, but sometimes all it takes is a bit of an attitude adjustment and a little imagination to create new and exciting safer sex scenarios.  If you're looking for ways to break it down, not bog it down, read on. After all, it's still sex we’re talking about, and by its very nature, sex is sexy. 

The Basics

  1. Assess your risk. It's important to decide what level of risk you are comfortable with.  Engaging in sex that is 100% safe is nearly impossible, unless you stick to a strict diet of masturbation. So first decide what risk feels ok to you, and then communicate that decision with your partner(s).  Read up about sexually transmitted diseases, and consult a basic risk assessment table to help determine the level of acceptable risk for you.  
  2. Get the goods. Missy Elliot has a great line in one of her songs, "If you're gonna smack it up, you better strap it up!" Take Missy's tip and buy yourself some condoms, gloves, dental dams (used when going down on a woman or for analingus), or other barriers. Barriers are designed to block bodily fluids and are most commonly available in latex, though there are a few non-latex alternatives (polyurethane, nitrile, etc) for latex-sensitive folks.  Check out our selection of safer sex goods, or visit a drugstore with your partner to create a little anticipation for the fun night ahead.
  3. Get to know your gear.  Whatever the barrier, you’ll probably want to play around with it by yourself outside of the bedroom first.  Playing with the barrier alone, before you’re on stage, can help you feel more comfortable and confident with the barrier. Plus, it helps get you in the mood for more. Unroll it or unfold it. Put it on. Smell it.  Taste it. 
  4. Masturbate! Latex doesn't absorb lubrication as fast as skin-to-skin contact, so your gloves or condoms will feel really slick when wet.  (Not to mention masturbating with condoms can both help with clean up.)
  5. Experiment. Try out a specialty condom like the Inspiral, Pleasure Plus, or Rough Rider, which are designed to enhance sensitivity. Condoms come in different thicknesses and sizes; get a condom sampler and try a few different ones until you find the few you like most.  The research sure is fun!
  6. Add lube, lube, and more lube.  Not all lubes were created equal, so do a little field testing to find the one you like best.  Get a lube sampler to try out a number of different kinds! We can tell you more about lubes, but the main thing to keep in mind is that water-based lubes should be used with condoms and other latex products (not vaseline or oil-based lubes.)  

Try some sexy tricks! 

Now that you’ve got the basics down, experiment with these suggestions for spicking up your safer sex act:

  1. Work the anticipation. Use your safer sex gear to send out a sex invitation. Leave a condom lying on a pillow, stash one in your sweetie's lunch bag, or slip one in her purse with a note on it. Shop for supplies together and talk about what you want to do with them, so you can get your imaginations' fired up.
  2. Accessorize. Use a garter belt to hold a dam in place over your vulva. You can wear it under a skirt or dress and invite your partner to inch his or her way up your thighs to discover the prize. Or add a cock ring to the base of that condom for a little extra flair.
  3. Work that mouth! Suck and snap and nibble on dams (but not on saran wrap, as it’s not sturdy enough) to create a different sensation.  Try it on yourself first, or ask your partner(s) as not everyone enjoys the snapping feeling.
  4. Need a dam, but you only have a glove or condom?  Cut the tip/fingers off and slit up the side for a flat dam.  If you keep the thumb on the glove and slit up the other side, you’ll be able to use the thumb hole to penetrate with your tongue or a small toy.
  5. Try rolling a condom on with your mouth! Tuck the tip of the condom behind your front teeth and hold it in place with your tongue, then roll it on with your lips.  Practice with a banana until you get the hang of it.
  6. Go for the gloves. Use different colored gloves to differentiate between partners or between the butt and vagina. Add lots of lube to your glove and give a slippery, slick hand job to your partner.
  7. Work it. Take some time putting on your gloves and make it sound good.  The sound of latex snapping can be a real turn-on, especially once you’ve linked the sound of latex to the feel of sex.
  8. Add some flavor. If you're not a fan of the taste of latex, try dabbing some edible gel onto the condom or dam and then licking or sucking it off. Or, you can always try condoms flavored like fruit!
  9. Flaunt it. Stash your gear somewhere that shows you're ready and willing. The sexy Condom Wallet comes in handy for women on the go, and the Condom Cube makes an elegant bedside container.

So you see, there are plenty of ways to liven up safe sex! Just remember to communicate your needs and desires, and have fun with it.  Safer sex is sex, and sex is sexy.