How to Talk Dirty

Author: by Alicia Guinn


 

Talking dirty is one of our favorite topics here at Babeland! Don’t be fooled into thinking that dirty talking is just repeating certain “nasty” words and phrases. In the hands of a thoughtful lover, hot talk is elevated to an art form. Not only can dirty talk heat up your love life, it can open up avenues of communication about sex in your relationship. And hot talk is an unsurpassed tool to help you explore fantasies through the power of imagination.

  1. Find a Vocabulary. One of the hardest parts of becoming a stellar dirty-talker is finding a vocabulary that seems right to you. “Cock” or “Dick” or “Penis?" “Pussy” or “Cunt” or “Vulva?" Or are you looking for different words altogether? Most people find that some words make them hot, while others make them laugh, and others leave them cold. Start thinking about the sexy words that get your engines revving.  And start putting those words to use! One of the best tips for getting started is to describe what’s happening when you’re having sex and how you feel about it.
  2. Talk about Sex. Period. If you and your partner haven’t already cultivated communication about sex in your relationship, it will be more challenging to dip your toes into the world of dirty talk. If you have trouble talking about sex in general, dirty talk may not seem like an exciting idea at all. If this is the case, hot talk should be only one part of your developing repertoire for communicating about sex. To break the ice, try reading Five-Minute Erotica book with your partner.
  3. Talk about Sex Outside the Bedroom. As you explore dirty talk, you should also be building other ways of talking to your partner about sex outside of the act itself. Our favorite tool for couple's communication is the sex date. Treat yourselves to a fabulous night out and have a chat about your sex life, especially the things you like about it and the things you’d like to try in the future. Outside of your relationship with your partner, it makes a revolutionary difference in both your day-to-day and your sex life to have a community of friends in which it’s perfectly normal to talk about sex.
  4. Practice, Practice. If even the thought of whispering nasty secrets in your lover’s ear makes you squeamish, learning to talk dirty may take some extra dedication and practice. Many people feel uncomfortable when they first begin to hone their dirty-talking skills. Be assured that the more practice you get, the more comfortable you’ll feel. You may need to work on your vocabulary by practicing aloud to yourself. You can make the practice even more fun if you talk to yourself while you masturbate. Or maybe you should start out by writing hot notes to your sweetie rather than speaking aloud. Playing a game like the 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex Game is a great way to get you and your partner talking and laughing about sex.
  5. Research. Dirty talking is a two-way street. It’s important to take into consideration your partner’s preferences for words and phrases as well as your own. To be a great dirty talker, you need to know your partner’s hot spots. Words that might be offensive to one person will be right on the money for getting someone else’s juices flowing. It’s the difference between calling someone your “sweetheart” or your “sweet little cocksucker.”  You can start sharing your fantasies by taking turns telling each other hot stories. Or even writing each other sexy notes.  One of the easiest ways to delve into your fantasy life is to share erotica that you enjoy with your partner, and tell them what makes it hot for you. A good place to start is X: The Erotic Treasury, a luxurious compilation of 40 of the hottest stories ever written. Or watch a porn video together and talk about what you do or don't like about the verbal repartee.
  6. Surprise! Hot talk is a great sexy tool because it’s so portable. You can take it anywhere with you as long as you’re discreet! Take advantage of a crowded restaurant or bar, a quick private trip in an elevator, or a short talk on the phone to unleash some sexy words on your unsuspecting honey. And expect to be rewarded with some hot sex by the time you make it home.
  7. Role Play. Role playing is an extension of dirty talk that can be more in-depth and detailed. You can even include bits of costumes as you act out the roles in your favorite fantasies. Using dirty talk, you and your partner can imagine yourselves in dozens of sexy situations just through the power of words. It’s an especially great way to explore and share fantasies you’ve always had but might not want to act out in real life. Our Experimental Kink Set is perfect for any couple just getting into role play.
  8. Accessorize. Having props around can help you get into a role-play, or simply give you something to focus on while you're talking. Put a blindfold on your partner, and then tease your partner with descriptions of what you're going to to with that edible gel, that paddle, that sexy cock ring, or a new vibrator.