There you lie, tied up and subject to your lover's every whim and desire, knowing she or he will bring pleasure (or pain) to your heart's content. Perhaps your playmate will taunt you with a feather, titillate you with a spanking or tease you with a vibrator. If you're on the other end, seeing your partner “helpless” can be a tremendously erotic feeling.
Sensory deprivation and restraint are two basic bondage activities. Sensory deprivation allows a top to take control of a bottom and to compel the bottom to focus on other senses, thereby intensifying all sensation. Blindfolding is an easy and common method. Securing someone's hands and ankles is at the heart of bondage and can most easily be done with wrist and ankle restraints, and, with a little practice, rope.
The most comfortable restraints are wrist and ankle cuffs. The
fastening mechanisms can be velcro, as on Tickled Pink Restraints and Super Cuffs; or
buckles, like Kookie Cuffs and Candy Apple Restraints. Velcro closures are easy to fasten and get out of quickly if necessary. Restraints with buckles are more difficult to escape from (this can be a good thing) and many have D-rings which enable you to
attach rope or clips (Double Connector) to the restraints. Bondage equipment such as the Spreader Bar offers a method
of securing ankles or wrists a set distance apart.
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Our cuffs are made of leather or nylon. Nylon is easy to clean, soft, and can be less intimidating than leather. It's also a lot cheaper. On the other hand, many people love the look, feel, and smell of leather. It's stronger and generally will last longer than nylon or cloth. Leather has the incomparable ability to “learn” its wearer and shape to the body over time.
The lining of your restraints is important. Unless you're doing a police
interrogation scene, you'll want your partner to be comfortable so they
can focus on what you're doing to them, not on whether or not their
left arm is going numb. The Suede Restraints (both cuffs and collar available) are lined with soft suede for extra comfort, while the Kookie Cuffs are lined with faux fur (in
sexy red, black, or leopard print). New are the Satin-lined Cuffs for chic soft comfort.
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Rope bondage is versatile and can elevate bondage to an end in
itself. Rope feels wonderful against the skin and coils gorgeously in
the hands of the restrainer. While people first experiment with bondage
using scarves or pantyhose, we do not recommend either because they can
continue tightening once the knots are tied and cut off circulation,
which can cause circulatory damage. Get some soft nylon rope from your
local hardware store (start with rope at least 1/2” in diameter; all
cotton rope is difficult to untie) practice,
practice, practice! The Bondage Harness is an easy-to-use restraining
device that uses leather, buckles, and rope with the look and feel of
rope bondage. The Erotic Bondage Handbook is a great resource.
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Trust is essential. Before any power play, be sure you agree on a range of activities and let your play partner know what is off-limits. Never let someone you don't trust tie you up. Physical safety in bondage scenes involves making sure the bonds aren't too tight, any equipment used is secure, and you have the means of quick release. Even if the bonds aren't tight, holding one position for a long time can cause numbness, aches, and discomfort. So check your partner's hands and feet for temperature and color and keep bondage play to a 20 minute limit at first.
For more great information on the basics of bondage and SM, see the Erotic Bondage Handbook. More great books are SM 101 (for all
genders and orientations), The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming
Book (again, written for everyone) or Screw the Roses, Send Me the
Thorns (from a heterosexual point of view). Also check out your local
resources and talk to people—you can learn some exciting tricks and
important information.
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