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The Female Sexual Prime

(or The Best is Yet to Come!)

by Patty Melt

As teenage girls, my friends and I giggled knowingly at pajamaparties, thinking of boys reaching their "sexual prime" between theages of 16 and 18. We also knew that, as girls, we matured faster thanboys but that the season of our prime would not begin for anothercouple of decades. Twenty years was more than a whole lifetime at thatpoint and with so much living yet to do, the fascination with sexualprimes faded.

Last month, I turned forty and, having lived a "whole lifetime" sincehigh school, I've been thinking again about the female sexual prime. Ilooked at the characteristics that defined the chapters of my journeyas a sexual woman.

In my twenties, who I was and how I felt was almost always dependant ona partner. With the "right person," I would experience passion,raunchiness, love and affection. I was a sexual person but I had nowell-defined sexual self.

By my thirties, self-knowledge (often resulting from theserelationships) had ripened. I could make some statements with authorityregarding who I was sexually, such as "I'm more aroused byrelationships that include SM play" and even "I'm not interested incasual sex." These realizations affirmed and solidified in me a senseof sexual wholeness.

So I'm thinking about how to recognize and enhance my sexual prime.One thing is certain: my sexual prime really can't be compared to ateenage boy's. For this woman, my "golden season" will not be notablefor quantity and endurance. I feel within me an appreciation and desirefor quality. For myself and those I will love, it is rich and patientand sincere. It is the beginning of my sexual prime!