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Bigger Penis! Tighter Vagina!

The Real Story About Numbing Creams and Erection Prolongers

by Erin Doherty

Pills and elixirs, creams and concoctions?it?s tempting tothink that there?s a quick fix to our problems, especially when itcomes to sex.But most of these sexual?problems? actually have much more to do with communication, attitudes about sex, and sexual self-image than they dowith physiological response.Acommontheme among these products is reducing sensation and numbing nerves?butin our experience, this does more harm than good (if you can't feel it,how do you know when it hurts?).

There?s also no scientific evidence thatthese potions work?they?re not approved by the FDA and are sold only as herbalsupplements.Themanufacturers of theseitems play on people?s insecurities about body image and sexualpeformance, hyping the cure-all aspect of their products in the questfor a quick buck. So we?ll give you the truth:there?s no magictrick when it comes to a fulfilling sex life.Inthis article, we'll take a look at some of the more common sexualdesires that fuel sales of these snake-oil products, blast apart someof the most persistent claims, then follow up with some funand sexy tools to help you enjoy better sex.

So you want to?make your penis bigger

What won?t work:  Pills, creams, etc.  Short ofsurgery, there?s nothing one can do to permanently enlarge thepenis.Pills (herbal or otherwise)advertised for enlargement usually don?t actually do anything at all ? atmost, they can increase blood flow to the penis (acting similarly to Viagra),but that won?t result in permanent growth.Creams don?t work either. Because of the way the penis is constructed, what you rub on it will be carriedaway by blood vessels before it has a chance to sink into the tunica albuginea (the spongy tissue inside the penis).

What you can do:

    • First, check out www.erectionphotos.com, a websitededicated to dispelling myths about penis size. If you smoke, quit.Smokinglimits the flow of blood to the penis and the less blood that gets in there,the less chance of your penis getting any bigger.
    • Think about shaving or trimming if youdon?t already ? less hair means you can see more of the penis, and that makes itlook bigger. 
    • If you?re still interestedin exploring temporary enlargement, you can try a penis pump.These work by sucking in a lot ofblood flow to the penis.Aside fromtemporary enlargement, they can feel really good, too.Keep in mind that if you have vascular orheart problems, you should check with your doctor first.Some folks who pump regularly over a longperiod of time do report permanent growth, but they almost always experience aloss in erection hardness as well.Soyou might look impressive, but your boner won?t be so?bony.

So you want to?maintain your erection to last longer in bed

What won?t work:Again, pills andcreams aren?t much help.There arenumerous desensitizing creams out there (such as Sta-Hard, which containsbenzocaine) that promise to help you stay hard, but what?s the fun of being hardif you can?t feel anything?In addition,the creams can irritate some men and many women, and can rub off on yourpartner, making him/her feel numb as well.Well-knowndrugs like Levitra and Viagra are designed for folks who havephysiological difficulties getting and maintaining erections; they canhave dangerous side effects if not used correctly (including head andstomachaches, visionproblems and cardiovascular-related deaths).For more info about these risks, check out this excellent article.

What you can do:Read the bookThe Multi-Orgasmic Man, which details several techniques to help you get more control overthat wily penis, including certain pressure points that can help delayejaculation.Some guys find thatcock rings (like the Velcro or 5 Snap) help maintain their erections (and looktr´┐Żs sexy!).These work by constrictingthe flow of blood leaving the penis.Open your mind and explore other sexual options?there?s so much moreto sex than just ?insert penis here.?Orcheck in with a therapist or counselor to explore any mental or emotionalblocks that can affect erection.

So you want to?have anal sex without pain

What won?t work:  Many folks haveheard of Anal-Eaze or other desensitizing creams.The thought of using these on your sensitivelittle butt makes us cringe.They?repretty much made of the same things as the penis creams?the whole point ofthem is to numb the area on which they're applied.Now our question is, why have sex if you can?t feel it?Analsex can and should be pleasurable and fun!Used anally, these creams can actually be harmful to your body.Pain is a signal from your body thatsomething isn?t right.If youcan?t get that signal from your body, you could be doing permanent damage toyour body and not even know it until later.

What you can do:First, check inwith yourself:is this something you?dlike to explore for yourself?If so,grab a bottle of lube (preferably nonsticky, thick lube like Maximus orSlippery Stuff), relax and have fun.Theanus has so many pleasurable nerves?go slow and let your body set thepace.It can take weeks or months forsome folks to be able to relax and enjoy anal penetration, so you may want tostart with just enjoying external stimulation.If you?re concerned about hygiene, you can take a shower and clean yourbutt with a gentle soapy finger (for a more thorough cleansing, check out the AnalDouche) or use a latex or nitrile glove.Try some great first-time butt toys like the Little Flirt or thePendant.Anything with a curve can hitthe P-spot (prostate); the Pro-Touch Vibe is very popular with the guys.

So you want to?boost your libido (women)

What won?t work: The results aremixed when it comes to Viacreme and its many cohorts.The manufacturers claim that one of theactive ingredients, L-Arginine (an amino acid), has a cumulative effect, sothat the more you use it, the more your libido increases over time. The otheractive ingredient is menthol, which is where the ?cool tingling? feeling comesfrom.We had several staffers test itand the responses varied from ?it didn?t do anything for me that rubbing myclit for five minutes wouldn?t normally do anyway? to ?I had to run to thebathroom to wash it off because the menthol was too intense,? so use withcaution, if at all.

What you can do: Many factors canaffect libido, such as stress, diet, changes in the normal routine, mental orphysical illness and medication (ask your doctor if your meds are affectingyour libido?new medications come out all the time that may be less of akilljoy for your sex life).If you?vebeen arguing with your partner for the past month, or if you were recently promotedto a new job with new challenges, it makes sense that you?re not feeling so hotand heavy.So check in with yourself ora trusted physician or counselor.

Communication is another key factor.Many women can have difficulty achieving orgasm, but we?re betting itdoesn?t mean there?s something wrong with them physiologically.Getting to know your own body, mind anddesires and being able to communicate them with your partner will go a long waytowards a mutually satisfying erotic relationship.If you feel stuck in a rut, try jumpstartingyour libido by making it a priority to try new things like reading erotica,exploring role-playing fantasies or just plain setting aside time to relax andenjoy your partner and yourself. 

So you want to?have a ?tighter? vagina

What won?t work:  Vaginaltightening creams.There isn?t a shredof evidence that these work, and they can be irritating to your sensitive mucousmembranes.Theyoften containingredients like potassium alum (a substance found in naturaldeodorants) or, making its appearance yet again, benzocaine (a numbingagent used as ananesthetic). 

What you can do: Do your Kegels!Kegels are vaginal strengthening exercises that can help you regain lostmuscle tone; you do these by isolating the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles andalternately squeezing and relaxing them.If you?re having a hard time finding those muscles, they?re the sameones you use to stop the flow of urine; try it next time you go to thebathroom.These exercises can be donewhile you?re waiting in line at the bank or stuck in traffic.But they?re much more effective when you usean exerciser like a vaginal barbell, which is weighted to offer your musclesmore resistance (much like the barbells in a gym).Check out the Smart Balls, Betty?s Barbell orthe classic Kegelcisor.  They really dohelp tone your muscles, allowing you more control as well as improving orgasmicresponse.

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