Bend Over, Babe: Pegging 101
When it is done in that context, though, pegging can flip the script on commonly-hold attitudes about who does what during sex, where the person who may usually be the “giver” in penetrative sex becomes the “receiver” - and that’s just one reason someone may love it. Pegging is hot for so many reasons, whether it’s reversing your usual roles in the bedroom in the context of power play and domination, or simply for a fun way to enjoy anal play and explore additional options for pleasure with your partner!
So, if you’re ready to strap it on and get to the good stuff, there’s a few things to know before diving right into a peg sesh:
Even though there are many lovers of anal play + penetration, not everyone is into it, which is totally cool: to each their own! Have a conversation with your partner first about wanting to try pegging – don’t just whip out the strap in the middle of sexy time, but take the time to chat outside the bedroom where there’s no pressure to put anything you don’t both totally want into play.
Pegging isn’t a purely body-to-body act, and so to participate in this kind of play, you’re gonna need some gear for the rear.
Strap-ons: An essential part of pegging is the strap-on aka a set consisting of a harness and dildo. While you can pick a pre-made kit, like these ones designed with pegging in mind, many folks opt to choose their strap a la carte – picking out a harness and dildo separately:
Harness: When picking out a harness, find one that fits you well and stays put on your body. A tighter harness gives you a solid and steady fit–a loose harness leaves you with less control because it won’t hold the dildo as firmly against your body. You want to feel as connected as possible to your strap-on! If you know who the strap-wearer will be, they should be the one picking this out.
Dildo: For pegging, the dildo needs a flared base (a base that’s wider than the shaft) to be both anal-safe and harness compatible. Curved dildos are great if you’re looking to target the prostate, and if the butt in question isn’t a beginner, you might like a dildo with a bit of texture for some extra sensation. Or choose one with a vibrator built in! Just like how the giver is the point person for picking the harness, the person being penetrated should have a say when it comes to size and determining what length and girth they want to get (and take!)
For more info on picking out a strap-on, check out our blog post: How to Choose a Strap-On
Lube: Lube is a vital ingredient for both anal play and for using toys, so naturally when the two are put together for an act like pegging, lube is going to be essential. The slickness that lube provides cuts down on friction that could lead to painful sex or injury, and lubricant makes for a much more comfortable and pleasurable experience. If your dildo is made of silicone, choose a water-based or oil-based lube.
When it comes to any kind of penetrative play, the body needs time to warm up and become aroused to avoid painful sex – and this is extra-true for anal, where relaxing those sphincter muscles, such as through arousal, is key. If either of you are first-time peggers or peg-ees, you’ll want to make sure that you’re taking it slow so that the person on the receiving end – aka the bottom - has time to let their body ease up to the size and sensation of anal penetration. Start small- like with fingers or a beginner toy - and graduate up slowly. (We recommend an anal training set!) You also want to ensure the giver – aka the top - has time get used to donning a harness and controlling their movements.
If this is anyone’s first time exploring anal overall, check out our Booty Basics: Anal 101 blog post to get you started for safe and sexy play.
Yes, it’s supes important to talk about pegging outside the bedroom first, but that convo has to keep going once the fun has started as well. You want to make sure that consent is present the entire time, and that everyone is comfortable and – of course – enjoying themselves!
Both partners should check in frequently during pegging play. The bottom can let the top know what feels great and what doesn’t, from positions to depth to pace. The top can check in, asking questions like “Do you like that?” and “Do you want more?” can let you communicate by way of dirty talk. Oh yeah.
Pegging is about pleasure, and certain positions can facilitate comfort, relaxation, and penetration – as well as target those orgasmic hot-spots like the prostate.
Doggy Style: The receiver is on their hands and knees, while the receiver is positioned behind them with their hips at the same height as the receiver’s booty.
This position opens up the hips and make it easy to spread the receiver’s cheeks for easier access, plus it can also allow either person to take the lead on rhythm or depth. The bottom can rock their body back against the dildo, using their arms and knees for balance – or the top can take the lead by thrusting into the receiver.
Downward Doggy: A twist on doggy style where the receiver bends at their torso, so that their elbows and forearms are against the bed instead of their hands.
This position gives all the benefits of doggy style, plus a great angle to stimulate the prostate or G-spot. With the bottom’s body bent over in this position, it’s much easier to aim the dildo at the front wall of the anus, where these hot spots can be reached. Add in some extra support by having your partner lean over a positioning pillow like the ever-popular wedge-style pillow.
Spooning: Just like the position you may know for cuddling, spooning is where both partners lay on their sides facing the same direction, with the receiver in front so their booty is pressed up against their partner’s hips.
Spooning sex is often slow and sweet, and is great for more shallow penetration. Most of the nerve endings around the rim of the anus and in the anal canal can be accessed this way without needing to go way deeper, so this cuddly position can generate a lot of comfort and pleasure. Who said pegging can’t be cozy?
There’s so many more ways to get yourself into prime position for pegging - exploring and discovering what works best for you and your partner is part of the fun! So, if you’re ready to peruse the pleasure of pegging play – strap it on and harness this exciting opportunity to add some anal play into your bedroom routine!
