How to Have Butt Sex: A Beginner's Guide to Anal Sex

Butt Sex Gets a Bum Rap

We live in a very butt phobic culture. Look at our language: rude, inconsiderate people are "assholes" and uptight stress cases are "tightasses." While it's true that we carry a phenomenal amount of our stress in our assholes, there's tremendous pleasure to be experienced from the concentration of nerve endings clustered in and around the anus.

Why Try Anal Sex?

The truth is all kinds of people from all different sexual backgrounds get into the joys of butt sex. And for good reason: it feels good. The anus and the rectum are sensitive areas. There's a wealth of muscles and nerve endings around the anus, and the right kind of touch can feel fantastic. All men have a prostate gland that can be reached through the rectum. Many men have orgasms just from pressure on the prostate. A woman's G-spot can also be stimulated indirectly through anal play.

This how-to deals primarily with anal masturbation; it's best to experiment alone first so you can control the pace of your explorations. However, you are most welcome to try this with a partner as well — just go slowly, and communicate your desires and reactions to your partner. Check out our anal sex how to, which is geared more toward partner play. Most importantly, anal sex should not hurt — if it hurts, that's your body telling you to back off. Remember our butt mantra — "relaxation, lubrication, communication" — and you should be happily enjoying butt sex in no time.

Anal Sex Toys Get the Job Done

Sex toys can be a great way to learn how to have anal sex, either through anal masturbation or anal intercourse with a partner. These Babeland anal sex toys can help you get started:

  • Butt plugs. Butt plugs (also called anal plugs) are typically diamond- or bulb-shaped with a thin neck and a flared base, which prevents them from slipping into the rectum. The bulge in the middle helps the plug stay in place, and in men it can also stimulate the prostate. We love the Tristan Plug, designed by Tristan Taormino, the Anal Sex Queen herself.  Also check out Ryder or the Little Flirt, two of our most popular butt plugs.
  • Anal beads. Anal beads cause the sphincter muscles to contract around each bead, which can enhance orgasm. Anal Beads come in multiple sizes and materials.
  • Anal dildos. A thin anal dildo is good to start with, as they're generally smooth and easy to thrust, but with practice and experience, you can use a dildo of any size (with or without a dildo harness) for anal intercourse with a partner, or for masturbation. The small Silk is a nice beginner's size, while the Vibrating Mistress is great if you want to combine vibrations with penetration. Bob and the Naughty Boy are elegantly shaped to help you find and stimulate your prostate.
  • Not sure where to start? Check out these excellent beginner's anal sex toys.

Getting Started with Anal Sex!

  1. Clean up. If you're worried about coming into contact with feces (poop), go to the bathroom to clear out your bowels first. You can also shower first, or do your experimenting in the shower, or wear a latex glove with lube on it during anal play.
  2. Exercise. Try some anally focused exercises, clenching and unclenching your sphincter muscles. Anal kegels can be done in sets of 12; try doing a fast set and a slow set. During the slow set, exhale on the relaxation portion of the exercise.
  3. Add lube to your finger and your anus. The tissue of the rectum is sensitive, it doesn't self-lubricate as does the vagina, and it can suffer little micro tears and abrasions quite easily. So be gentle when you explore, and use lots and lots of lubricant—try Entice by Babeland or Maximus. These thicker lubes are great for anal sex because they don't evaporate as quickly. Our Bootie Plug plus Sliquid Lube Combo is a great way to get started with butt play.
  4. Get to know your butt. Start by feeling around the outside of the hole. There are two sphincters of the anus, the outer one, which creates the pucker that you can see, and the inner sphincter that you can feel a short ways up if you insert your finger in your anus.
  5. Go inside. If you're playing in the shower, ease a fingertip just inside your ass. If you're lying on your back or side, insert a well-lubed finger or anal toy. If you meet resistance, push out as if you had to go to the bathroom and push your finger in at the same time. The Aneros is a great toy for getting to know your anal muscles.
  6. Experiment. Do some clenches and releases while touching yourself so that you can feel the changes in your asshole. Try rubbing in tiny, concentric, circles around the rim of your asshole. Notice whether there are any particularly sensitive spots. Don't feel you have to go very far inside. Just explore and enjoy yourself.

More Anal Sex Materials

These are hands-down the best resources about anal sex: