Nipple Play 101: Exploring With Nipple Suckers, Clamps, And More

Despite being chock-full of nerve endings and receptors, sometimes the nipples don’t get the attention they deserve. While the sensitivity of the nipples varies from person to person, they’re still very much considered one of the major erogenous zones of the body, and anyone who loves to have their nipples stimulated will tell you it’s not only fantastic but orgasmic. In other words, the rumors are true: the nipplegasm is real. It’s just a matter of learning what techniques and nipple toys work best for you.

What is nipple play? 

Simply, nipple play is any sort of sexual stimulation that’s focused on the nipples and areola. Nipple play can be enjoyed by all genders, people of all sexualities, and it adds another level of pleasure to both solo and partnered sexual experiences. Like all things sex-related, there is no one way to engage in nipple play, meaning it leaves the door open to a whole spectrum of sensation play that can be explored.

For some, the slightest touch, like that of a gentle nipple massage or a bit of nipple pulling, might be all it takes to induce arousal. While for those who are less sensitive and need something rougher, nipple pinching or even nipple clamps—both of which tend to correspond with erotic pain—are necessary to get someone all hot and bothered. It all depends on where the nipples fall in regard to their sensitivity and what the person in the equation prefers to feel, sexually speaking.

Nipple stimulation as foreplay 

Although nipple stimulation can absolutely be the main course of any sexual rendezvous, if you’re relatively new to nipple play, then you want to start with nipple foreplay ideas. This way, you can ease yourself into understanding what feels good for you, which you can practice during a solo masturbation session. Then, when you’re ready, you can communicate to your partner what nipple stimulation you prefer, and they can do the same.

When nipples are stimulated, their somatosensory nerves send notifications to the central nervous system to pay attention to what’s happening, while the genital sensory cortex in the brain, which also positively responds to genital stimulation, also takes note that it’s time to respond. Because there’s so much going on behind the scenes, when approaching nipple stimulation as foreplay, begin with light touches, kisses, licking, and little teasing nibbles that not only set the mood but are extremely sensual. You can also use lube to make it easier for fingers to glide over the nipple and areola, helping to build even more anticipation.

Nipple sex toys can also be introduced into the scenario to really get things going, creating more and more sexual tension, so much so that you may start to feel throbbing in your genitals because of how turned on you’ve become. But as sexual heightened you and/or your partner might be at this point, don’t make having a nipple orgasm your intended destination. Whenever you have any sort of sex, it’s always best to remove end goals from the equation. After all, foreplay is about getting blood pumping through the body and prepping it for further play. So, the longer you stave off climax, the more intense the end result will be when you’re ready.

Getting started with nipple stimulation

As a beginner’s guide to nipple play, you want to start with what you know best and are probably most comfortable with: your hands and mouth. In doing so, you can explore orgasmic breast massages, as well as how to give a nipple massage. Because you don’t want to go from zero to 60 before you or your partner knows what’s happened, it’s paramount that you start slowly—the same goes for if you’re giving a nipple massage to yourself.

Begin with light touches around the nipple, using your fingertips and the palm of your hand, and whenever you start to get close to the nipple, slowly massage in the other direction to build anticipation. When it comes to erotic massages, teasing is key. When you and your partner are ready, you can incorporate your mouth by stroking the nipple directly with your tongue while still massaging the rest of the breast. You can even include breast sex cream to help your hands slide more easily over the skin, and, if both you and your partner are OK with it, nipple stimulation cream, which heightens sensitivity, can also be an asset.

If your partner is giving you an A+ nipple massage—or vice versa—but you’re ready to experiment with another type of stimulation, a nipple vibrator or nipple suction toy can really enhance the experience. It also gives you the opportunity to use sex toys in a way you may not have considered before which ultimately opens your mind up to new and uncharted territories.

Is nipple play BDSM? 

Short answer: no - but, it can be a part of it. While those who practice BDSM may incorporate nipple play into their sexual experiences with intense devices like nipple pinchers and BDSM nipple clamps, nipple play is not strictly something that only people in the BDSM community enjoy.

Nipple play can be soft and sensual, just as much as it can be rough and aggressive. It’s a sex act that allows for a lot of exploration, including that fine line between sexual pain and sexual pleasure. Someone who may consider themselves as vanilla as vanilla can be could give vibrating nipple clamps a try and realize in that moment that that’s exactly what their sex life was missing. Nipple play has fans from all walks of life.

Types of nipple toys 

Although you can certainly use some of the sex toys you already have at home as nipple toys, if you want a product that was designed specifically for nipple stimulation, then you have many options. Nipple clamps are the most common, but you also have vibrating versions of those, as well as nipple suckers, nipple vices, and nipple pumps. All of these offer different sensations and vary in intensity.

Nipple clamps 

When nipple clamps enter the conversation, the first question some people ask is, “What are nipple clamps?” After a brief rundown, the inevitable follow-up question tends to be, “Do nipple clamps hurt?” To answer the first inquiry, nipple clamps offer a variety of intensities when it comes to stimulating the nipple. As for the second question, nipple clamps can absolutely hurt if that’s your thing. But if that’s not what you’re into, then no, they don’t have to hurt; rather, they just apply a bit of pressure.

Because they really run the gamut, how to use nipple clamps has everything to do with what type you purchase. You can get a set of basic nipple clamps, or you can get nipple clamps that are attached by a chain, a chain that, when pulled, can create either a lot or a little pressure, depending on how hard the chain is pulled.

You can also use vibrating nipple clamps. Some of these just clip on and can be worn, vibrating away under your shirt, while others can be controlled by a remote. The latter makes for some really exciting partnered play, especially if you consent to letting your partner totally be in control of how you experience pleasure in this way.

Still, there are more nipple clamp options from which to choose. For example, vice grip clamps, weighted clamps, decorative clamps that are rocking feathers, and clamps with little charms. 

Nipple suckers 

Not to confuse them with clit suckers, nipple suckers create a suction that encourages blood flow to the nipple, therefore increasing sensitivity. If you’re wondering how to use nipple suckers, they’re pretty straightforward. While some are meant to be put directly on the nipple, you can get bigger ones that cover more area, including the areola. When it’s on, the device is squeezed, creating a vacuum effect until the desired sensitivity is achieved.

Vibrators and suction toys 

If you already have plenty of sex toys and would rather use what you already have at home, then both vibrators and suction toys absolutely work. From bullet vibes to wand vibrators, these sex toys can be used on and around the nipple, offering not just varying intensities, but vibration patterns too. Similarly, suction toys can be used on the nipples to create a little (or a lot) of sucking sensation.

Tips for safe and pleasurable nipple play 

When it comes to safe and pleasurable nipple play, always start slow and soft. Don’t be concerned with how to make nipples hard and just enjoy the ride. If you’re engaging in nipple play with your partner, be sure to keep the lines of communication open about what feels good and what doesn’t. If a nipple clamp starts to hurt, and not in a good way, then it’s time for it to be removed so as not to limit circulation. Also, don’t be afraid to get creative and experiment with lubes, nipple creams, and temperature play. You’d be surprised just how amazing ice or a heated glass dildo feels against nipples.  

How to have a nipple orgasm 

Here’s the thing with a nipple play orgasm, also known as a nipplegasm. Although it exists, some people have a misunderstanding of what it means to have one. So what is a nipple orgasm? When someone is sufficiently aroused, their brain is activated to respond to the pleasure being experienced.

Like an orgasm that stems from the genitals, there’s a build-up of anticipation before a release. But in the case of a nipplegasm, it’s a full-body experience that’s felt in waves from head to toe.

The best way to achieve a nipple orgasm is to stimulate your nipples in what’s the most pleasurable way for you. If that means your partner’s mouth or a tuggable nipple clamp, then that’s the route to take. However, if you don’t manage to achieve a nipplegasm, don’t sweat it. Not everyone can orgasm from nipple stimulation. Also, just because you can’t have a nipple orgasm now doesn’t mean you won’t be able to in the future!

Bringing nipple play into your pleasure routine 

If ever there was a time to introduce nipple play into your pleasure routine, it’s now. Not just because it’s Kinktober, but because there’s no time like the present. Once you’ve decided how you want to begin your nipple play journey, as in what toys and/or techniques you want to use, start pairing this stimulation with the stimulation of other erogenous zones. Let yourself explore different pain levels and incorporate other types of sensory play.

As long as everyone involved is consenting and feeling good, there really is no wrong way to practice nipple play.

Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness writer with more than a decade of experience. She was the sex and relationships writer for Bustle for seven years and has contributed to Glamour, Wired, Vogue, Shape, SELF, Harper’s Bazaar, The Atlantic, and more. You can find Amanda on Instagram at @la_chatel