How to Choose a Strap-On

Strapping it on can be a great way to add some extra fun into the bedroom - whether you’re pegging, penetrating, or just playing phallic-ly!

With that said, the world of strap-ons is vast - with so many options and styles of harnesses, dildos, and sets - and picking the right one can be pretty intimidating. That’s where we come in to help.

Selecting your strap: choosing the right harness

The person wearing the strap should be the person choosing the harness, to make sure that it feels comfortable, secure, and empowering! To get started, first think about materials:

Leather

When most folks think about strap-ons, they think of leather harnesses. Leather is long-lasting and can mold to your body shape nicely after regular use, plus the aesthetic of leather - the look, the smell, the feel, the attention to caring for the material - can be a huge turn-on for many. 

Vegan leather

For those who like the rigidity and texture of leather, but maybe want an alternate that’s animal-product-free and/or less high-maintenance, vegan leather alternatives like vinyl and faux leather are a great option.

Pro-tip: Brand-new leather and vegan leather harnesses may be a bit stiff, so we recommend wearing your strap for a little bit to help break it in and let the fabric shape to your body for a more comfy fit before whipping it our for play.

Fabric

The easiest to care for out of the bunch, fabric harnesses come in a variety of options - nylon, neoprene, polyester, jersey, cotton blends, and so on. Fabric harnesses tend to be a bit more flexible than leather and leather alternatives before it’s worn in, and some are even machine-washable!

Harness styles and fits

Some harnesses come in fitted sizes, whereas others have adjustable straps - so think about your specific fit and whether you want to share your strap with a partner of a different size.

Briefs and boxers

With underwear-style harnesses, you get the ease of pulling on your harness without having to handle any buckles, straps, and so forth. These come in all different aesthetics, from boxer-briefs to ribbon-and-lace panties, and the lack of metal hardware makes them a great discreet travel option as well.

Underwear-style harnesses are also great for staying ready-to-play, since they can be worn discreetly under clothes, and can be just as great for packing as they are for sex!

Keep in mind, most brief-style harnesses don’t have adjustable sizing, and often the O-ring (that’s what holds the dildo in place) is not interchangeable, so the real girthy toys may not fit this style.

Strappy and jock strap styles

Strap-style harnesses allow for adjustability through - you guessed it - straps! Some are designed in a jock-strap style, while others are simple and minimalist, like two-strap harnesses. Most will have interchangeable O-rings to fit a variety of dildo sizes as well.

Strap-style harnesses depend on hardware like buckles or velcro to fit onto the body, so they may take a minute to get on, but being able to adjust to your specific fit will ensure a perfectly snug and sturdy strap.

Alternative and thigh strap-ons

Harnesses also don’t just have to go over the hips! Alternative styles of harnesses are designed to go on the face, the feet, the thigh, and plenty of places elsewhere. These are great for exploring new positions, diving into some power play kinks, participating in group play, and can also be a great accessible option for those who don't want or cannot use a harness that rests on the hips.

Deciding on a dildo

Just like how the strapper should pick the harness, the strap-ee (aka the bottom or the person being penetrated) should be the one to decide on the dildo, to make sure it's the right size and style for their desires and comfort.

In order for a dildo to be able to be used in a harness, it needs a flared base to hold it in place in the O-ring of the harness.

Glass and metal dildos are great for hand-held play, but most are not harness-compatible, so we highly recommend sticking with good ol’ high-quality silicone.

Picking the right size dildo

Insertable Length - When looking at the specs of your new toy, you may see different measurements for length and insertable length. Length is the entirety of the toy, from base to tip, while insertable length alludes to the maximum length of the toy that’s intended to go inside the body. So, for example, if your dildo has balls, the insertable length of the toy would start in front of those.

Diameter - This is the girth of the toy, or how thick it is. Consider the firmness of the toy when thinking about girth - a more rigid silicone will feel girthier than a softer silicone, even if they’re the same size, since it will have some give when against the walls of the body. Also, keep in mind whether or not your harness has an adjustable O-ring so that you know whether you have to swap out for a different size.

With size, keep in mind that you can always control depth (insertable length) with your thrusts or by wearing a bumper ring to prevent too-deep penetration if the bottom isn't into that. So girth (diameter) may be the more important factor for a bottom's preference.

What aesthetic do you want for your dil?

Dildos come in all sizes, and also all shapes! Whereas there are tons of realistic-looking dildos, there are also ones that are penis-shaped but without the flesh-toned colors, and ones that look nothing like an anatomical part at all, like fantasy dildos.

Let whatever fantasy you want to explore shine through your strap!

Strap-ons can be fun for anyone

No matter your sexuality or gender, if you want to explore strap-on play, there's an option for you. Whether you’re strapping it on for playing with penetration, taking part in pegging, exploring or affirming gender, or just want your hands free for even more pleasure and fun, harnesses let you engage with your toy and your partner in new and wonderful ways.

So, strap one on and explore!