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Altered

Dear Rachel and Claire,
I'm really curious about vaginal fisting & would like to try it, but I'm concerned I may not be able to accept my girlfriend's hand.  Five years ago I had an hysterectomy to alleviate endometriosis, and I'm worried I don't "have enough room".  Is it safe to fist after having such surgery?  

-Altered

A:

Dear Altered, First, some background: “fisting” is the term for putting one’s whole hand inside your partner. Vaginal fisting is penetrating the vagina, and anal fisting is up the butt. Unfortunately the name “fisting” makes it sound like a punch, but far from being a sock in the tender parts, fisting is generally a slow, gentle and intimate process. It requires a lot of openness on the part of the receiver, careful attention from the giver, communication from both, and generous squirts of lube.

The vagina is muscular and very elastic and can stretch to accommodate a whole hand without tearing. For women who love to be filled up it can feel wonderful. Women who have had hysterectomies in which the cervix and part of the vagina were removed may have less elasticity (“room”) than they did before. If that’s your situation, you may find fisting uncomfortable.

I recommend you try it, but go slowly and don’t push it. Start with regular finger fucking, adding fingers as you get more aroused and open. The thickest part of the hand is where the bottom joint of the thumb is- that is as far as many people go. Don’t push yourself if it’s painful. The hand goes in fingers first, and if it does go in all the way your partner may curl the hand (thus “fist”) once inside. Thumb tucked inside the fingers may feel better.

The person doing the penetrating should have carefully trimmed fingernails- latex gloves can help keep things smooth. Once inside, just the feeling of fullness may blow your partner away, or she may want you to rock your hand a bit. Be gentle-small movements register more intensely with a whole hand inside. Pace your movement to match her response. If she wants you out, relax your hand and let her help squeeze you out rather than just yanking your paw back.

Have Fun!