Dom For Hire

Dear Rachel and Claire,
I'm a virgin but I consider myself very open and very sexually knowledgable. A couple of days ago while I was whip shopping the sales associate (a gay man so I know he wasn't giving me a line) asked if I was a Dominatrix. My bestfriend was with me and has often told me that I would be good as a Dom4Hire. Here's my question: How would I get involved in that sort of thing? And does it mean that I will have to start having sex (which is OK by me)? I'm pretty handy with a whip, rope and a pair of handcuffs so I know I could do the job.

Dom for Hire

A:

Dear Dom-to-be,

That’s unusual that you’re out shopping for whips before even rounding the bases of traditional sex. Some folks find that they are more drawn to SM (sadomasochism) than regular romance. Pain and domination they love, orgasms, they can take it or leave it. You may be one of those people.

Since you’re buying a whip, you may already be playing around.  If not, definitely try it out on a non-professional basis before you start fielding paying customers.  Many towns have SM clubs where you can meet potential partners and get some training so you don’t accidentally hurt someone. The web has tons of resources.  I can recommend are SM 101.

If you do decide to go pro, often one can get a start by helping someone who is already working, participating in scenes that need an extra person. Having a friend/mentor in the business will also help you figure out how to get work, keep it safe for yourself, and hopefully to enjoy it. 

Ideally you shouldn’t have to have sex.  You are the domme after all.  Some dommes let their clients “release” by giving them a handjob or permitting them to touch themselves. Intercourse does not have to be part of it. But when you arrange things with clients, you should be clear that they will not be getting sex. Many of them won’t mind at all, and those that do can go to someone else. Good luck!