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Tweety

Dear Rachel and Claire,
Is there away to make my husband last longer with out letting him know that I want him to last longer?

-Tweety

A:

Dear Tweety,
Nope.  You’re going to have to spill the beans.  Male ejaculatory control takes a little work, work that no one can do but him. Yours is a perfectly understandable desire- if you didn’t like him and like sex, you’d be glad he finished quickly, so he needn’t take it as an insult. But do be nice when you bring it up. Don’t criticize him- put it in terms of yourself and the two of you having fun sex together. Try to get his collaboration, a “how can we make that happen?” type thing. Maybe he has some ideas of techniques that would help him prevent shooting to soon.

Once you get him engaged with the project, there are lots of resources. I can recommend the book The Multi Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia. If a book is too much, try doing some online research: I Googled it and found a site (one of many) that quickly outlines the most common technique:

Better Health Guide

Don’t you or he freak out about the premature ejaculation lead in, just focus on the steps to delaying orgasm. As you’ll see, there is no way to “sneak” this without him knowing. It has to come from him. Another technique is to push firmly on the slight indentation between his perineum and his balls, which blocks the chute and thus prevents ejaculation. It has to be a firm touch though, so I doubt you could sneak that in either.

Good luck!