You haven't gotten rid of me just yet...there's so much going on that I'm trying to make it all come together.Firstly, gotta give a shout out to feminist publisher Seal Press, who are publishing the fabulous Jamye Waxman's book Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation next month.
I can't figure out how to link directly to the post (which is okay cause their entire blog is worth reading), but how much do I love that editor Brooke Warner (who's also behind my forthcoming anthology Dirty Girls: Erotica for Women which, if I can just kvell about for a moment, has a freaking nipple on the cover, which I didn't even know was allowed!) wrote a post entitled "I Masturbated Last Night" in which she says:I hadn't considered its fabulous side effects---mood-enhancement, the fact that it gives your skin that FFG (Freshly Fucked Glow) without you even having to deal with your partner, that it makes you feel more self-confident.The rest of the post is about her college boyfriend making her comfortable with her own approach to masturbation, something that I think is common for a lot of women. Rock on! Whenever women talk about learning to masturbate before they even knew what the term was, they just knew that the shower spray or special spot felt good, I have to admit, I'm jealous. I didn't really get the hang of masturbation till way late, even after I was having sex with other people. I was maybe 20 or 21 and up until then knew I was missing out on something but until I got my first vibrator (a Rabbit), I just couldn't make it happen on my own. Better late than never, right?Speaking of owning our sexual desires, I got this email the other day:I saw your bj story in the village voice and wondered if it was true? I have never met a woman who truthfully loved to give head but if you are that into it please let me know.Well, you've gotta love someone who starts out with a crazily backhanded compliment about a piece that's over a year old that accuses you of making up your material. WHY on earth would someone make up something like liking blowjobs? But I do want to say that I think it's surprising. I also think that we have to remember that it's not just women who like to give blowjobs (or men who like to receive them), and that it's by no means a required activity. Do it if you want to, don't if you don't. But if you do, I highly recommend checking out The Fellatrix, a blow dedicated to all things blowjob.
It brings up a larger point though: How much of ourselves and our desires do we bring to our sex life? Do you hold back when you're with someone new so as not to seem "too slutty?" (I've dealt with this, and you can hear me talk about it here.) It's a tricky thing because I think so much trust has to be involved to open not just your body but your mind and feelings to someone, to really go there fully. I think a lot of people, men and women, hold back sexually in some way, whether it's confessing a fantasy or telling someone exactly how you like to get off or sharing your masturbation techniques, because it's scary. Damn scary. Sex is powerful and incredible and all those wonderful things, but it also makes us vulnerable and maybe why we're seeing sex scandal after sex scandal, aside from the fact that they're inevitable, is that people still aren't comfortable letting it all out. There's still afraid of being seen as freaky or perverted or (gasp!) gay or what have you.And while I still have your attention, I must plug a few things that I think you'll love:Speaking of fantasies, Tracie Egan's "One Rape, Please (To Go): I Paid A Male Whore To Rape Me Because I Wanted To" will at the very least make you think, might turn you on, or it might scare you. It did all three to me and is the kind of edgy, interesting sex writing I'm interested in reading. And by this I don't mean that everyone should have a rape fantasy, but that people need to examine issues of sex with a little more depth than just "ooohh...SEX." Probably most of you reading this know that but judging by some of what I read in the mainstream world, we have not come a long way, baby.
Artist Ellen Forney's blog - she does these weekly drawings illustrating personal ads in Seattle paper The Stranger and they're so creative and fun and awesome, and being turned into a book coming out from Fantagraphics in January.My friend Audacia Ray's porn flick The Bi Apple, in which I have a clothed cameo involving cupcakes:
Lastly, I do need your help. Where do you go after the Hitachi Magic Wand? I've really relied on my trusty one for years (actually, I have two) and it's not that I'm bored but could use something else to spice things up cause I'm pretty much on my own when it comes to getting off for the foreseeable future. Should I pair a dildo with the magic wand? I actually bought a Wahl 7-in-one and while I really like its quietness, I'm not sure it quite does the trick.Lastly, I'll leave you with something that's not technically a sex toy, but was described to me as being "like a Hitachi Magic Wand for your entire body." Now that's exciting!Thank you again to Dallas and Babeland for having me here this week. You can always find me spouting off on my blog Lusty Lady and I will definitely be back. Also, after this week, I have a huge internet crush on Wordpress and have a feeling that Blogger is going to be a poor substitute after the cushy treatment and ease of posting I had here this week.le and maybe why we're seeing sex scandal after sex scandal, aside from the fact that they're inevitable, is that people still aren't comfortable letting it all out. There's still afraid of being seen as freaky or perverted or (gasp!) gay or what have you.And while I still have your attention, I must plug a few things that I think you'll love:Speaking of fantasies, Tracie Egan's "One Rape, Please (To Go): I Paid A Male Whore To Rape Me Because I Wanted To" will at the very least make you think, might turn you on, or it might scare you. It did all three to me and is the kind of edgy, interesting sex writing I'm interested in reading. And by this I don't mean that everyone should have a rape fantasy, but that people need to examine issues of sex with a little more depth than just "ooohh...SEX." Probably most of you reading this know that but judging by some of what I read in the mainstream world, we have not come a long way, baby.Artist Ellen Forney's blog - she does these weekly drawings illustrating personal ads in Seattle paper The Stranger and they're so creative and fun and awesome, and being turned into a book coming out from Fantagraphics in January.My friend Audacia Ray's porn flick The Bi Apple, in which I have a clothed cameo involving cupcakes:Lastly, I do need your help. Where do you go after the Hitachi Magic Wand? I've really relied on my trusty one for years (actually, I have two) and it's not that I'm bored but could use something else to spice things up cause I'm pretty much on my own when it comes to getting off for the foreseeable future. Should I pair a dildo with the magic wand? I actually bought a Wahl 7-in-one and while I really like its quietness, I'm not sure it quite does the trick.Lastly, I'll leave you with something that's not technically a sex toy, but was described to me as being "like a Hitachi Magic Wand for your entire body." Now that's exciting!Thank you again to Dallas and Babeland for having me here this week. You can always find me spouting off on my blog Lusty Lady and I will definitely be back. Also, after this week, I have a huge internet crush on Wordpress and have a feeling that Blogger is going to be a poor substitute after the cushy treatment and ease of posting I had here this week.
I can't figure out how to link directly to the post (which is okay cause their entire blog is worth reading), but how much do I love that editor Brooke Warner (who's also behind my forthcoming anthology Dirty Girls: Erotica for Women which, if I can just kvell about for a moment, has a freaking nipple on the cover, which I didn't even know was allowed!) wrote a post entitled "I Masturbated Last Night" in which she says:I hadn't considered its fabulous side effects---mood-enhancement, the fact that it gives your skin that FFG (Freshly Fucked Glow) without you even having to deal with your partner, that it makes you feel more self-confident.The rest of the post is about her college boyfriend making her comfortable with her own approach to masturbation, something that I think is common for a lot of women. Rock on! Whenever women talk about learning to masturbate before they even knew what the term was, they just knew that the shower spray or special spot felt good, I have to admit, I'm jealous. I didn't really get the hang of masturbation till way late, even after I was having sex with other people. I was maybe 20 or 21 and up until then knew I was missing out on something but until I got my first vibrator (a Rabbit), I just couldn't make it happen on my own. Better late than never, right?Speaking of owning our sexual desires, I got this email the other day:I saw your bj story in the village voice and wondered if it was true? I have never met a woman who truthfully loved to give head but if you are that into it please let me know.Well, you've gotta love someone who starts out with a crazily backhanded compliment about a piece that's over a year old that accuses you of making up your material. WHY on earth would someone make up something like liking blowjobs? But I do want to say that I think it's surprising. I also think that we have to remember that it's not just women who like to give blowjobs (or men who like to receive them), and that it's by no means a required activity. Do it if you want to, don't if you don't. But if you do, I highly recommend checking out The Fellatrix, a blow dedicated to all things blowjob.It brings up a larger point though: How much of ourselves and our desires do we bring to our sex life? Do you hold back when you're with someone new so as not to seem "too slutty?" (I've dealt with this, and you can hear me talk about it here.) It's a tricky thing because I think so much trust has to be involved to open not just your body but your mind and feelings to someone, to really go there fully. I think a lot of people, men and women, hold back sexually in some way, whether it's confessing a fantasy or telling someone exactly how you like to get off or sharing your masturbation techniques, because it's scary. Damn scary. Sex is powerful and incredible and all those wonderful things, but it also makes us vulnerable and maybe why we're seeing sex scandal after sex scandal, aside from the fact that they're inevitable, is that people still aren't comfortable letting it all out. There's still afraid of being seen as freaky or perverted or (gasp!) gay or what have you.And while I still have your attention, I must plug a few things that I think you'll love:Speaking of fantasies, Tracie Egan's "One Rape, Please (To Go): I Paid A Male Whore To Rape Me Because I Wanted To" will at the very least make you think, might turn you on, or it might scare you. It did all three to me and is the kind of edgy, interesting sex writing I'm interested in reading. And by this I don't mean that everyone should have a rape fantasy, but that people need to examine issues of sex with a little more depth than just "ooohh...SEX." Probably most of you reading this know that but judging by some of what I read in the mainstream world, we have not come a long way, baby.Artist Ellen Forney's blog - she does these weekly drawings illustrating personal ads in Seattle paper The Stranger and they're so creative and fun and awesome, and being turned into a book coming out from Fantagraphics in January.My friend Audacia Ray's porn flick The Bi Apple, in which I have a clothed cameo involving cupcakes:Lastly, I do need your help. Where do you go after the Hitachi Magic Wand? I've really relied on my trusty one for years (actually, I have two) and it's not that I'm bored but could use something else to spice things up cause I'm pretty much on my own when it comes to getting off for the foreseeable future. Should I pair a dildo with the magic wand? I actually bought a Wahl 7-in-one and while I really like its quietness, I'm not sure it quite does the trick.Lastly, I'll leave you with something that's not technically a sex toy, but was described to me as being "like a Hitachi Magic Wand for your entire body." Now that's exciting!Thank you again to Dallas and Babeland for having me here this week. You can always find me spouting off on my blog Lusty Lady and I will definitely be back. Also, after this week, I have a huge internet crush on Wordpress and have a feeling that Blogger is going to be a poor substitute after the cushy treatment and ease of posting I had here this week.le and maybe why we're seeing sex scandal after sex scandal, aside from the fact that they're inevitable, is that people still aren't comfortable letting it all out. There's still afraid of being seen as freaky or perverted or (gasp!) gay or what have you.And while I still have your attention, I must plug a few things that I think you'll love:Speaking of fantasies, Tracie Egan's "One Rape, Please (To Go): I Paid A Male Whore To Rape Me Because I Wanted To" will at the very least make you think, might turn you on, or it might scare you. It did all three to me and is the kind of edgy, interesting sex writing I'm interested in reading. And by this I don't mean that everyone should have a rape fantasy, but that people need to examine issues of sex with a little more depth than just "ooohh...SEX." Probably most of you reading this know that but judging by some of what I read in the mainstream world, we have not come a long way, baby.Artist Ellen Forney's blog - she does these weekly drawings illustrating personal ads in Seattle paper The Stranger and they're so creative and fun and awesome, and being turned into a book coming out from Fantagraphics in January.My friend Audacia Ray's porn flick The Bi Apple, in which I have a clothed cameo involving cupcakes:Lastly, I do need your help. Where do you go after the Hitachi Magic Wand? I've really relied on my trusty one for years (actually, I have two) and it's not that I'm bored but could use something else to spice things up cause I'm pretty much on my own when it comes to getting off for the foreseeable future. Should I pair a dildo with the magic wand? I actually bought a Wahl 7-in-one and while I really like its quietness, I'm not sure it quite does the trick.Lastly, I'll leave you with something that's not technically a sex toy, but was described to me as being "like a Hitachi Magic Wand for your entire body." Now that's exciting!Thank you again to Dallas and Babeland for having me here this week. You can always find me spouting off on my blog Lusty Lady and I will definitely be back. Also, after this week, I have a huge internet crush on Wordpress and have a feeling that Blogger is going to be a poor substitute after the cushy treatment and ease of posting I had here this week.
