This is the best sex toy review I've ever read. It may not be the most detailed in terms of the nitty gritty but it did one thing better than any other review I've ever read: it made me want the toy. Badly.Nerve's Caitlin Macrae conducted an experiment with the new Club Vibrator and she wrote it up, lab report style, complete with photos:Methods: Describe, step by step, what you did in your experiment.
After picking up my remote-controlled vibrator from Babeland, I ran (or to be more accurate, "skipped gleefully") to a nearby cafe to use their bathroom as a makeshift insertion laboratory. A few minutes later, I was strapped into a lacy, black one-size-fits-most thong, with a tiny, pink bullet-vibrator in my vagina, the remote control clipped onto my hip. The Club Vibe offers three settings: ambient, music and manual. In music mode, it connects directly to an iPod or mp3 player. In manual, it promises "seven ass-shaking vibration patterns." I set the control to "ambient," where the vibe responds to the tone and intensity of all of the noise surrounding you (the packaging recommends trying out a club setting, so that your nether regions will be "pulsating to the DJ's jams"). I cranked the controls up to eleven and set out to feel the world.The second I stepped outside, a huge semi rumbled down the street and I had the distinct feeling that I was being paged ? and the call was coming from inside my vagina. A honking horn amped the paging feeling up so much that I was sure some fellow pedestrian would notice and out me. The sensation itself fell somewhere between lounging in a massage chair and standing directly in front of the speakers at a particularly bass-heavy concert, the resonance rattling your sternum. Each of the city's white noises had its own corresponding buzz ? the wind blowing at the right angle caused the vibe to shiver, car doors slamming gave a brief staccato burst. I was able to walk near enough to one loud, inscrutable argument that I felt like a participant, the machine hammering away at my g-spot as though it had an axe to grind. All of these were startling, but ultimately pleasant. Thusly stimulated, I met some friends at a bar for phase two of the experiment.
Don't you want to find out about phase two? I did. You can read it here.The best sentence, in my New Yorker's opinion, was this one:Conclusion: Summarize your findings.
When I was out on the street picking up sounds from traffic, it felt kind of like the city was fucking me - and for the first time since I moved here, that felt pretty good.
