I absolutely loved, loved the first question on Savage Love this week.

I'm a 21-year-old female, and I've been going out with my boyfriend for four years. He wants me to masturbate for him, but I don't feel comfortable doing it. I love my boyfriend, but I cannot find a way to do this. I would like to do it. I just can't bring myself to let him watch.

Whenever I teach a workshop at Babeland, I talk about communicating with one's partner. I think it's one of the most important parts of sex and it's something that often gets overlooked in all the talk of licking techniques and how you keep your neck from hurting, etc. However, you can try all the fancy moves you want but if you don't know how your partner is feeling about it, then what's the point?Masturbating for a partner can be a great way of showing them what you like. As this person states, it's not easy. I give that advice to people all the time and I find myself getting a little shy about it myself sometimes. The idea that someone would want to watch me having pleasure and that it would turn them on, can still seem a little scary so I understand how they're feeling. Dan gave great, although possibly rather extreme advice; I usually recommend starting with the lights off and underwear on and then working your way to nakedness and at least partial visibility. There doesn't need to be a spotlight on you but your partner certainly needs to be able to actually see what you're doing.But, here's the best part of Dan's advice:

Here's what you do: Get your ass into a nice, cozy sex-toy shop?or visit one online (babeland.com, goodvibrations.com...) and buy yourself a pair of nice, cozy blindfolds. Then go to a big, intimidating hardware store and buy a big, intimidating roll of duct tape.

I love it when Dan recommends Babeland! He does live in Seattle after all so he must stop in every now and again. And I love that he calls us cozy. And I know that if this person takes his advice and stops in or logs on, they'll find a wealth of information from our sex educators and our how-to section, along with the blindfold. They could even buy a gag and skip the roll of duct tape.