Sometimes a news organization can surprise you. Foxnews.com has a terrific column on sex and disability this week. I highly recommend giving the whole thing a read since it's a great 101 on sex and disability and has simple and easy-to-understand explanations.Reading the article made me realize that talking about sex and disability is an amazing way of exposing the underlying assumptions about sex that so many of us make. For instance:Sex is all about bodies: Between what someone looks like and what their parts are and how we manipulate those parts, we often forget that the most important sex organ is our brain. Our level of arousal, our focus, our dirty thoughts, our imagination - all of that comes from the brain and without it, our sex lives would be dull, if non-existent.Real sex has to involve certain activities: "sex" can mean a lot of things, depending on who you are and what you like to do. It doesn't have to involve certain body parts going into other body parts, etc. Many different forms of intimate expression are sex for people.Able-bodied sex is easier and more fulfilling than non able-bodied sex: There's good sex and bad sex out there and it's being had by everyone, no matter how their bodies or minds work. Thoughtful, conscious, considerate sex depends entirely on the person, not what their body can do.The best sex just happens: People in the movies have hot, spontaneous sex but in reality, the best sex tends to be with people who know us (and know what we like). Planning can be sexy - set a date and time and then send each other dirty e-mails about what you're going to do. Or, send teasing photographs of an elbow or better yet, a wrist with handcuffs on it. Planning for sex can actually increase the excitement.Thinking through sex and disability is a great reminder of all of the sexual baggage that we walk around with everyday - our assumptions and our expectations - and maybe it will help us put some of that baggage down