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pamIt's been so inspiring for me to read all of our sex positive moms' thoughts on how they create healthy conversations and attitudes towards sex in their families. It's been especially comforting after I ran across this video posted by Feministing of an abstinence-only educator who travels the country talking to kids about abstaining from sex. The worst part is, she's really good at it. Pam Stenzel is engaging and dynamic. She speaks without notes, she tells personal stories, she's funny. She's also lying. I knew right off the bat that she was trouble when she mentioned working in a crisis pregnancy center. Not only do those places discourage women who want to have abortions from having them, they also offer no real medical care and the worst part? They do not recommend birth control.Pam slips in her scare tactics in some pretty sly ways. Worried about getting pregnant? That should be the least of your worries because pregnant girls have 2.5 STDs which will make you sterile and kill you. Yes, kill you. From this news, Pam develops the logic that in fact, Birth Control KILLS. I'm not joking. Apparently, if you're on birth control and because of that you're not using condoms and you get HIV, then Birth Control is responsible. I would try to think about this more but it makes my head hurt.Like all abstinence-only educators, Pam's only solution to remaining baby and STD free is to not have sex until you're married. For someone who bills herself as supporting facts, Pam must not be aware of studies that show that 95% of people have sex before they are married. Does Pam think she's going to stem that tide with her dynamic speaking and her lies? I highly doubt it. Instead of using her power for good and giving kids useful information that will help keep them safe when they do eventually have sex, Pam is endangering kids by withholding useful information. For instance, knowing that birth control does not protect against STDs is actually a great thing to know, unless that knowledge is followed closely by the sentence "birth control will kill you". If I was 15 and I sat through her entire presentation knowing nothing about birth control or STDs, I don't think I'd remember the larger argument about not using condoms and fear of pregnancy. I'd just remember that birth control could kill me and I wouldn't use it.This is not to say that I'm against abstinence and think that all adolescents should be having sex. I think abstinence is a great choice. It's just a choice that not everyone will make. For those who do not chose abstinence, they need to know how to protect themselves. What also gets lost in this discussion is that for everyone, abstinent or not, sex is not something that should only be talked about with scare tactics and in the context of disease. Sex is fun! It feels great! Have it when you're ready and protect yourself. The end.I'm all bogged down in papers and finals for graduate school right now but watching this video has given me some inspiration to get through it, knowing that I'll come out on the other end ready to do battle. I'm already developing my skills by working at Babeland. There aren't too many places in this country where pleasure and sex are actually celebrated as key aspects to personhood - whether you're married or not. Whenever I see a video like this, I hope that one day, these adolescents will stumble into Babeland and I'll get the chance to help undo all of that damage.25" height="355">