So what did Smartmom actually learn at the lecture on raising ?sex-positive kids? at Babeland?

1. The store has a great selection of multi-colored vibrators!

2. It?s important to think about what you did and didn?t like about how your parents told you about sex (if they even told you about sex). Do better.

3. Make it clear to your kids that you are always available to discuss, you know, all that that we never like to talk about.

4. As sexologist Amy Levine put it, ??The Talk? is not just one talk: it?s an ongoing, casual conversation.?

Levine also stressed the importance of sussing out exactly what your kids want to know and what?s age appropriate.

?When your child asks you a question, ask him or her, ?What do you think??? Levine suggested. That gives you a chance to catch your breath, figure out what you?re going to say, and most importantly, figure out what it is your child really wants to know. The child?s answer will give you ?an age appropriate snapshot,? Levine said.

For instance, your 4-year-old may ask: where do I come from? But all she may really be asking is whether she was born in Manhattan or Brooklyn.

Levine also believes in using real words for private parts. ?If you feel shy about this, say ?vulva? and ?penis? 50 times in the mirror. You may laugh and giggle but say it: ?Penis, vulva, penis, vulva.? Say it.?

Above all, when kids ask questions, it?s important for parents (and special friends) to stay calm.

?Be open and approachable if they have a question,? Levine said. ?But it?s perfectly OK to tell your child that you don?t feel comfortable and you?ll get back to them.?