It?s early Friday afternoon, and I?ve been on the horn with my best Pro-Domme friend. As is our habit, we were engaged in a Bd/Sm conversation: hemp rope, fire play, tens units, and general gossip. Having recently enjoyed Mistress Matisse?s latest Control Tower piece, Top 10 Things Not to Say to Me, I was happily reading aloud to my friend (who agreed with the Mistress whole-heartedly).Mistress Matisse is a favorite around these here parts. As professional/lifestyle player and writer, she possesses intelligence, wit, and a razor-sharp turn of phrase that deserve command attention. Feeling the call to pay due respect, I checked in on her blog once I?d ended my call.My heart melted.For those not in the know, a Mistress?s time is precious to her; she is receiving copious amounts of email, telephone calls, and letters from folks on a daily basis, and does not have the time to play mommy or therapist when she has her own life to lead. Be that as it may, the Mistress also has a heart; and it takes a special kind of letter to stir her heart and cause her to take a moment to offer a kind, well-researched response.Today, Mistress Matisse has crafted a beautiful response to a touching entreaty from a young Seattle man. A mere snippet of his letter:

I have been interested in BDSM for the past ten years. It is the erotic material that I most enjoy reading or watching. I never actively realized that doing this might be something that I would want to try until I read Kate Bornstein's "Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks and Other Outlaws." (When I had my panic attack last spring I had repeated intruding thoughts about suicide. I bought this book in a period of depression this summer.) I think I have had this desire unconsciously for a long time and it has surfaced itself in a number of ways until I actively found it two days ago. I believe that I have made it to the point where I can tell myself that my desire is okay. Being able to think that is very exciting and freeing, for once.I am struggling because my desire is competing with the part of me that is still afraid. My family would be shocked beyond belief if they found out that I was interested in BDSM. I think it would shatter them. On the other hand, I can't deny that I have this desire any more: I've been extremely distracted for the past two days and my heart rate has been galloping just trying to think things through. I am trying to look for some help and support, even if it is just to talk with someone about BDSM. I would welcome any advice you could give me.

And a mere snippet of her advice:

In the longer version of this letter you asked about the Wet Spot. (Now called The Center For Sex Positive Culture.) It?s here. Babeland also offers sex-ed classes. My partner Max does private lessons in BDSM skills, and he's also good at teaching lessons in, shall we say, BDSM life and culture. This seems to be the hot new place to hang out online: FetLife.Bondage.com. If you don?t think you?re ready for that, the ostensibly-vanilla personals site OKCupid seems pretty kink-friendly.Now, you aroused my sympathy, so I did some Googling for you and spoon-fed you a bit. But I need you to make this not a waste of my time. You have to make this happen. You need to take action about making your life be what you want. I have given you some places to start. Every single day from now on, I want you to do something that moves you closer to your goals. It can be something small, but you need to move, and keep on moving. You will never be in a better position than right now to shape your life into what you say you want. This is your starting gun: Go!

The Mistress?s full blog entry is an absolute must-read for all of us who may be scared of our sexualities, preferences, appetites? or who are ready to dip our toes in these heady waters.As a Babeland staff member, I extend a cordial invitation to this young man to visit us whenever he likes. I understand that it may be scary at first, but we?ve all of us been there at one point or another, and we?re here to help you on your path.king your life be what you want. I have given you some places to start. Every single day from now on, I want you to do something that moves you closer to your goals. It can be something small, but you need to move, and keep on moving. You will never be in a better position than right now to shape your life into what you say you want. This is your starting gun: Go!The Mistress?s full blog entry is an absolute must-read for all of us who may be scared of our sexualities, preferences, appetites? or who are ready to dip our toes in these heady waters.As a Babeland staff member, I extend a cordial invitation to this young man to visit us whenever he likes. I understand that it may be scary at first, but we?ve all of us been there at one point or another, and we?re here to help you on your path.