By Kelly ArborIn the normative world of gender and sexuality, many of us exist beyond the binds of polarity.� Our bodies and desires speak more than any word could holistically sum up.� Here we spend our time defining ourselves, sharing our experiences, building community, and just plain fighting for our lives.� We are hated because of how we fuck, whom we fuck, and what are genitals might be like.�� Hetero-normative world, I say, thanks for the reminder.� I should be talking about and having sex AT LEAST as much as you hate on me for it.� You know? to keep the balance.�� So all you snowflakes who sail the winds with me;� let?s talk about sex!Lube Factors:� Glycerin is a sugar that can increase yeast infection and UTI.� Parabens are chemical preservatives that some folks are reactive to.� Some silicone lubes can break down some silicone toys over time; you can do a spot test on your toys, use a water based lube, or condom the toys.� Lube helps stimulate natural wetness as arousal increases; the wetter the better!Silicone Lube + Liquid Silk (or Sliquid Silk): Vaginal dryness affects many of us.� First give a genital massage with the Silk lube; the lotion additives will help with moisturizing and provide a layer between the skin and the silicone lube, which will aid in vaginal rebalancing.� The massage (eh hem?foreplay) will also increase arousal and natural wetness.� Use the silicone lube during the sex act.� Both Liquid Silk and Sliquid Silk have a small amount of silicone lube in them which increases compatibility.Sassy and Maximus:� Both of these lubes are thicker and great for anal play as they tend to stick around longer.� The Sassy is totally odorless and tasteless too.Barrier Factors:� Barriers are both physical and mental.� Some of our barriers emerge through the complexity of our genders, sexualities, and desires.� We all have a responsibility to Self to tend to our wants and needs.� Empower yourself to discover and continue asking; What do I want?� What feels good?� We all develop throughout our lifetimes so things like regular masturbation can foster connection to Self.Physical barriers can shut us off mentally too.� We all need to make decisions about our own safety everyday and, especially us Sluts, have to consider this one often.� As your relationships change this one can constantly be a part of your repertoire.� Communicate with yourself about what barriers you use for what sex acts and with whom.� Then, over time, continue to check-in with yourself and your partners.� Direct communication is sexy and so is safe sex.Gloves: Turn your hand into a sleek, sexy fucking machine.� Vaginal and anal tissue is easy to tear and gloves help eliminate nail edges for the receiver.� Did you wash your hands before/after you put them in yourself or others?� Gloves offer easy clean-up and provide a clean surface if your hands are dirty.� Cut the side of a glove from wrist to bottom of thumb and pinky for a finger-fucking mini-dam!Dams:� Drag this silken friend along your blind-folded friend?s nipples.� Sex up the incorporation of barriers!� Dams should be left loose, but don?t be afraid to experiment with all the sensations that stretchy latex offers.� It can help to mark the user side in case things shift about.Condoms:� Learn to put one on with your mouth!� Latex allergies can also feel like yeast infections, so check your lube and condoms if you have symptoms.� Put a dollop of lube from a bottle in the tip before rolling it down the shaft; this will help with comfort and breakage.� There are many STI/STD?s you can get from oral sex.and.com/safe-sex-dams-gloves/glyde-dams" target="_blank">Dams:� Drag this silken friend along your blind-folded friend?s nipples.� Sex up the incorporation of barriers!� Dams should be left loose, but don?t be afraid to experiment with all the sensations that stretchy latex offers.� It can help to mark the user side in case things shift about.Condoms:� Learn to put one on with your mouth!� Latex allergies can also feel like yeast infections, so check your lube and condoms if you have symptoms.� Put a dollop of lube from a bottle in the tip before rolling it down the shaft; this will help with comfort and breakage.� There are many STI/STD?s you can get from oral sex.