Bend Over, Babe: Pegging 101
Before we dive in to how to try pegging with our expert anal tips and techniques, let's throw it back (pun intended) with some etymology of how this term came to be.
In 1998, our good friend and Good Vibrations Staff Sexologist, Dr. Carol Queen, created the instant-classic sex-ed porno series Bend Over Boyfriend. Little did she know that just three years later, in 2001, advice columnist Dan Savage would hold a contest for his readers to name this incredible act. The winning name? You guessed it—pegging! (Runners up were bobbing, after Queen's Bend Over Boyfriend and punting for "kicking the ball to the other team". We think the right choice was made here.)
Since then, pegging has surged in popularity, making its way into pop culture references (hello, Broad City) and has even garnered some celebrity buzz, like the infamous Met Gala look referencing fellow sex educator Luna Matatas' iconic tagline "peg the patriarchy".
What is pegging?
Most commonly, the term pegging is used to describe a man being penetrated anally by a woman using a dildo + harness, but pegging can be enjoyed by partners of any gender or sexuality – all you need is a strap-on and a partner that’s ready for this rear-end trend.
When it is done in that context, though, pegging can flip the script on commonly-hold attitudes about who does what during sex, where the person who may usually be the “giver” in penetrative sex becomes the “receiver” - and that’s just one reason someone may love it.
Pegging is hot for so many reasons, whether it’s reversing your usual roles in the bedroom in the context of power play and domination, or simply for a fun way to enjoy anal play and explore additional options for pleasure with your partner!
So, if you’re ready to strap it on and get to the good stuff, there’s a few things to know before diving right into a peg sesh:
How to talk to your partner about pegging
Start off with what about pegging turns you on - is it the idea of switching up the power dynamic that has you wanting to strap it on? Is it the physical exploration of the booty and the prostate that leaves you wanting to bend over? Maybe it's simply the thought of trying something completely different that has you getting turned on.
Chat through where you may align on these desires, and set your expectations for what your pegging sesh may look like. You'll also want to talk about physical comfort levels when it comes to anal if you haven't tried it before, since booty play is something that takes time to get started in exploring.
If you aren't already having regular conversations about your likes, wants, desires, needs, and boundaries in bed - this is a great opportunity to start.
Get the right gear for the rear
Pegging isn’t a purely body-to-body act, and so to participate in this kind of play, you’re gonna need some gear for the rear.
Strap-ons
An essential part of pegging is the strap-on aka a set consisting of a harness and dildo. While you can pick a pre-made kit, like these ones designed with pegging in mind, many folks opt to choose their strap a la carte – picking out a harness and dildo separately.
Harnesses
There are many styles of harness - from jock-style harnesses with adjustable buckles and straps, to brief-style harnesses that pull on easily, just like a pair of briefs. (Learn more about picking one out here!) You want to feel as connected as possible to your strap-on! If you know who the strap-wearer will be, they should be the one picking this out.
Dildos
For pegging, the dildo needs a flared base (a base that’s wider than the shaft) to be both anal-safe and harness compatible. Curved dildos are great if you’re looking to target the prostate, and if the butt in question isn’t a beginner, you might like a dildo with a bit of texture for some extra sensation. Or choose one with a vibrator built in!
Just like how the giver is the point person for picking the harness, the person being penetrated should have a say when it comes to size and determining what length and girth they want to get (and take!)
🩶 For more info on picking your strap out, check out How to Choose a Strap-On
Lube
Lubricant is a vital ingredient for both anal play and for using toys, so naturally when the two are put together for an act like pegging, lube is going to be essential. The slickness that lube provides cuts down on friction that could lead to painful sex or injury, and lubricant makes for a much more comfortable and pleasurable experience. Choose a water-based or oil-based lube if your dildo is made of silicone (silicone lubes and silicone toys are not compatible).
Pro-tip: When it comes to anal play, you can never have enough lube. Re-apply as often as you like, especially if you start feeling discomfort from stretching or friction.
Take your time and start slow
If either of you are first-time peggers or peg-ees, you’ll want to make sure that you’re taking it slow so that the person on the receiving end – aka the bottom - has time to let their body ease up to the size and sensation of anal penetration. Don't expect to go from zero-to-dildo right away!
Start small - like with fingers or a beginner toy - and graduate up slowly, using LOTS of lube. You also want to ensure that the giver – aka the top - has time get used to donning a harness and controlling their movements. Communicate, communicate, communicate!
🩶 Check out our expert tips on anal training here.
If this is anyone’s first time exploring anal overall, check out our Booty Basics: Anal 101 blog post to get you started for safe and sexy play.
Keep communication open and flowing
Yes, it’s super important to talk about pegging outside the bedroom first, but that convo has to keep going once the fun has started as well. You want to make sure that consent is present the entire time, and that everyone is comfortable and – of course – enjoying themselves!
Both partners should check in frequently during pegging play. The bottom can let the top know what feels great and what doesn’t, from positions to depth to pace. The top can check in, asking questions like “Do you like that?” and “Do you want more?” can let you communicate by way of dirty talk.
Communication isn't just between partners, either - your body wants to communicate with you, so listen! If something doesn't feel right - if you are uncomfortable, in pain, or simply not enjoying yourself - take a pause or stop. See what needs re-adjusting - maybe you need more lube, to switch positions, to go slower, or to hang up the strap and try something else for now.
Listen to what feels good, too! Take note of what is doing it for you so you can ride those sensations all the way to your O.
Get into position
Pegging is about pleasure, and certain sex positions can facilitate comfort, relaxation, and penetration – as well as target those orgasmic hot-spots like the prostate.
Doggy Style
The receiver is on their hands and knees, while the receiver is positioned behind them with their hips at the same height as the receiver’s booty.
This position opens up the hips and make it easy to spread the receiver’s cheeks for easier access, plus it can also allow either person to take the lead on rhythm or depth. The bottom can rock their body back against the dildo, using their arms and knees for balance – or the top can take the lead by thrusting into the receiver.
Downward Doggy
A twist on doggy style where the receiver bends at their torso, so that their elbows and forearms are against the bed instead of their hands.
This position gives all the benefits of doggy style, plus a great angle to stimulate the prostate (P-spot) or G-spot. With the bottom’s body bent over in this position, it’s much easier to aim the dildo at the front wall of the anus, where these hot spots can be reached. Add in some extra support by having your partner lean over a piece of furniture or prop them up on a sex positioning pillow.
Lifted Missionary
A positioning pillow is key to helping elevate the hips for this face-to-face position that's a spin on standard missionary.
You don't have to hit it from the back if you want to explore pegging. Lifted missionary elevates the receiver's hips using a positioning wedge or pillow, opening them up to allow access to the back door - have them position themselves with their butt slightly over the edge of the taller side of the pillow. This allows you to face each other, which is great for incorporating kissing and some super hot eye contact as you play - or you can have them toss their legs over your shoulders to help aim towards the P-spot or G-spot with each thrust.
Spooning
Just like the position you may know for cuddling, spooning is where both partners lay on their sides facing the same direction, with the receiver in front so their booty is pressed up against their partner’s hips.
Spooning sex is often slow and sweet, and is great for more shallow penetration. Most of the nerve endings around the rim of the anus and in the anal canal can be accessed this way without needing to go way deeper, so this cuddly position can generate a lot of comfort and pleasure. Who said pegging can’t be cozy?
Harness your pleasure
There’s so many more ways to get yourself into prime position for pegging - exploring and discovering what works best for you and your partner is part of the fun!
So, if you’re ready to dive in to the pleasure of pegging play – strap it on and harness this exciting opportunity to add some anal play into your bedroom routine!
